Kaobei Gia's column

Worst ever

2011-06-15T13:28:00.001+08:00

A post after so long, and for better or worse, it is a quite a ranting one. Have not done this in AGES.

I wrote 2 posts ago, approx. 4 mths ago, that I would not fail in my latest attempt for the holy grail. This attempt, officially, is girl no.10. And sad to say, yes, once again, we will hit the reset button, and its time for girl no. 11. Haha.

This case, unlike most, failed in no small part due to the other party. I sincerely believe, this time round, I really did the best I could, given the circumstances, and I remained friendly, positive, and CLASSY throughout. I sincerely believe I did not fail myself this time, and I feel I can take pride in this.

The situation was this. After asking her out on Vday after meeting on 11th Feb, she had been responding in an “On-off, I don’t need to reply to you if I don’t care” mode. Here are the main points.

1) Ignored my sms to ask if she wan to go out for friendship day (vday)
2) Asked her for movie, she ignored.
3) I tried just messaging good willed sms-es for weeks, and getting half hearted replies.
4) About 6 weeks from 1, asked her for Soju Bang. She said ok.
5) In the weekend one week before, asked for confirmation, she said just forget it since we could not confirm due to other reasons.
6) I decided, TO BLOCK OUT MY WHOLE WEEKEND, which involved cancelling my drum class which was unfair to my teacher, and going all the way to BUKIT BATOK for Korean class.
7) This was to make sure, the day that she did not have something on, I would be free.
8) I told her this. No reply. I messaged her to ask for confirmation 1 day before that Friday, NO REPLY.
9) I then told her, we would preferably be meeting on Friday? Well, she did reply, like WHEN I ALREADY REACHED THE PLACE. Telling me, “Sorry can’t make it. Another time k.”
10) I asked her for another date. She told me, “Sorry, really no mood to go out.”
11) 2 weeks later, I messaged her to say hi. She said hi, and asked whether wanna meet up someday.
12) I replied her (OBVIOUSLY) and, NO REPLY.
13) About 1 week later, I asked her for cycling, she said ok.
14) I asked to confirm day and time, NO REPLY.
15) About 1 week later, I asked to confirm again for the next Sunday, NO REPLY.
16) 1 day before, I asked again, NO REPLY.
17) On that morning, guess what… she took her ball and ran away AGAIN. The full story is more, but it is too depressing to elaborate.
18) I soon asked her out for JUNE, NO REPLY.
19) In June, I asked… well… u can guess the answer.

There u have it, NINETEEN REASONS WHY THIS WAS A WASTE OF TIME.

On a certain level, u do have to give it to such people. If she is indeed what I think she is, then she is someone who may look tame but is very stone-cold inside. Meaning, she will do things that SHE WANTS, AND ON HER TERMS. It’s her way or the high way. She doesn’t have to account to, or rather, to CARE about what u think of her responses. If u can’t deal with her responses, that’s your problem. Ask her no questions, and u will get no lies. Something like these traits. From a certain perspective, u have to respect that they want to live on their own terms. Screw social norms, and EQ.

But, when I am the recipient, it is something I really cannot accept. Because ultimately, I do not feel valued and respected, not only as a friend, but as a person. I mean, ignoring me, is not the way u should approach this. Yes, I can understand if she doesn’t want to know me better (much less like me), but can you have the FUCKING COURTESY to just tell me to my face? If u don’t want to go out, fine, THEN U SHOULD NOT HAVE AGREED IN THE FIRST PLACE! And even if u really change ur mind, come on, in both cases of screwing me, I HAD REPEATEDLY ASKED HER FOR CONFIRMATION, EVEN DAYS BEFORE THE MEETING. She had more than enough time, and she chose to tell me last minute, NO, LAST SECOND in both cases. Is this called caring about people’s feelings or at least being considerate? U tell me. And what about point no. 11? She was the fucking one who asked me whether wanna meet up. Do I want to? DUH! And in the end, not only no reply, but she took her ball and ran again. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR MOTHER FUCKING PROBLEM?

Its this kind of apathetic attitude, and piss poor behaviour, that already had me at my wits ends. But the final straw was after I returned, I asked again. Given that she already had 2 strikes, I asked if she was free on a week in June. She said got work trip. Fine. Weekend? She said got friend’s birthday. Fine…. (Keep in mind, I had asked her in May, to consider meeting in June, meaning she had 1 fucking month to think about it) but I was already at the limit already. So I asked WHEN IS SHE FREE? And no reply (surprise!) after 24 hours. That was it.

I shot her a fucking long email, giving her an ultimatum of sorts. I want to meet you to give you a present from Taiwan, and you choose any day of the month. If you choose and I am not free, fair enough, we won’t meet. But if u don’t even come up with a date, IT IS FUCKING OVER. My reasoning is very reasonable. If I give u an extra 3 weeks to think about it, and you cannot even come up with 1 day to meet for a measly 1 hour, and somemore, I am coming out to give you something in a meeting which I can totally choose not to initiate; then can you fucking tell me, UNDER WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES WILL U MEET? U got an answer for this? NO? I thought so.

Well, if the final straw was broken before, then her reply, was the FINAL FINAL FINALE STRAW broken! Because she said, actually she didn’t intend to tell, but she broke up sometime ago… and ya, sorry if she hurt me. Well, I have 3 points of criticism to make to justify why I am done with her.

1) U broke up. That is NOT A VALID EXCUSE AT ALL FOR IGNORING SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BE FRIENDS. U broke up, so u can’t go cycling? U broke up so u can’t go dinner? And do u do that to everyone, or just me? Why me? Your shit with your ex, that is your damn problem right? If ignoring me is gonna make the hurt go away, ok… and if ignoring me will make u patch up with him, power to you. That’s fine, except that, THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE. U are just lying to yourself.
2) If I hurt you. If. IFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF??????????????????? U mean, u fucking thought I was cool? Yes I acted cool for most part, but, who in the blue hell will not be hurt? And even if u didn’t know, NOW U KNOW AFTER THE EMAIL. And u still have the balls to tell me IF?
3) And lastly, U WEREN’T INTENDING TO TELL ME. Wow. WOW. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, let me ask, Miss, if u weren’t intending to tell me the truth; yes it is a retarded reason, but still a reason for rejecting a guy; then, excuse me, WHAT. THE. FUCK. OF. FUCKS. WERE U INTENDING TO DO ABOUT IT??? So if I didn’t lash out at you, then we are just gonna keep this song and dance routine going on forever???? U are just gonna keep ignoring and avoiding and escaping from me, FOREVER????

Again, if this was not clear, it shows one thing. SHE DOESN’T CARE. So why should I care about someone who doesn’t care?

Therefore, I am through with her. Of cos, logically speaking, she could still revert about meeting in June, but in my heart, I know I am through with her. Good riddance.

END.

Long walk

2011-04-01T22:10:00.005+08:00

I walked very long today. 2.5 hours maybe. Why, I am not gonna tell.. but what I can say, is that I was fucking upset. U know during bombastic moments, when u receiving stunning news, and your mind goes blank, you become catatonic, and you just sit there like a statue, not knowing what to think or what to do? Well that was me. And soon after? Stages of grief? Check. Deep desire to go throw stuff around and beat up anyone I see? Check. Feeling like I was just THIS close to erupting on the next motherfucker who messes with me? Check. And then? It just seemed like the whole world had no meaning. What was I supposed to do now? Go home? To do what? Talk to someone? To who? Just do something else? Like? I made the decision there and then, to just walk home. Because as dumb as it was and still is as my aching body can testify; its less idiotic that the decision I made that led me to this. At least, time can pass. At least, when I reach home I can go straight to bed, and hope that this is all a bad dream, and I will wake up seeing rainbows and bunnies hopping in strawberry fields. And so I walked. I didn't know what I was thinking, but I know I was feeling angry, I was sad, I was cursing and swearing, I was spitting, and I was fucking screaming out loud. I know I almost got lost when the route suddenly registered as a black out in my mind. I know that countless irritating foreign workers on bicycles with no bells just zipped past me. I know that Hell, I was even lying on the shitty road like a homeless hobo at a point. And I fucking didn't care. If the world ended then, I wouldn't give 2 shits cos to me, at that time, I had nothing to care about and look forward to. The walk was long. Real long. But I at least knew where I was going. Now I don't know what I am going to do, or what the hell is going to happen.

Not this time

2011-02-21T22:42:00.000+08:00

When I went on my 1 yr sabbatical after girl no.9, I did it becos I knew I could not withstand failure anymore. At the same time, I also wanted to find my way, to find out what I really wanted. And also, I took the break, because I did not want to meet girl no.10 so soon; and inevitably fail bcos I was not ready. I told myself that when I become ready, girl no.10 will appear, and girl no.10 is gonna be the one.

Now I am emotionally ready, and girl no.10, has appeared.

However, the story doesn't continue smoothly. After 2 meetings, I decided to open my big mouth and ask her to Vday 3 days later. And since, she has only communicated 2 sentences worth of words with me via SMS.

I am facing an obstacle now, and yes, I should not have done it and asked. But I keep thinking to myself, based on how the meeting was going, based on my feel towards our interactions, based on the little things, was it really so surprising to her that I asked? Was it really so opinion changing for her?

Cos that's what it seems; worst case scenario, that she now thinks I suck and am a jerk or whatever, cos I asked her to Vday after 2 meetings. Or that she is scared; or I SCARED HER AWAY (My least favorite phrase in the world)

I really really hope not. Like I said, you do things that a girl won't do to a normal guy friend especially after 2 meetings; u are willing to go out with me when u know I deliberately asked u out for something which I could ask anyone else... I am not saying u like me; but given what I just said, is this really that unexpected that I would ask u? Is it?

Whatever it is, I have made up my mind that this girl is the one. I am gonna stay positive and have faith, bcos I have not gotten any official indication that my theory is correct. Therefore, it could mean anything. Of cos, now, she definitely knows I am interested. But what she thinks about it, is anyone's guess.

I don't know why, but I just got this feeling, that she is suitable for me. I just have this tingling feeling when I see her or think about her, that I don't have for anyone. I just feel, no, I just know, that she is very special.

And I am not going to give up. Not this time.

It's True! Oh it's true!

2010-10-29T12:46:00.002+08:00

A fren recently told me she couldn't go to Malaysia with me alone bcos I'm a guy and she's a girl. And that guys and girls shouldn't have such close contact (Nan nu shou shou bu qin) Well never mind that I was joking, or that we have been frens for a long time, or that WE DO NOT LIKE EACH OTHER, or that this person even claims she doesn't want to get married.

Honestly, no matter what people say, whatever platonic guys and girls can be friends whatever.. its crap. That's it. As long as a guy and a girl is single, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE ISSUES BCOS THEY WILL ALWAYS HAVE SEXUAL TENSIONS BETWEEN THEM.

And the reason is because of nature. To be totally crude, yet also to be true, man and women are created in this world to fuck. Not just people. Look at animals. Other than eat, sleep, what else do they do? That's right. They fuck. Think about it, animals don't have education. They don't talk. Just when the time comes, every animal on this planet knows they need to fuck, and they know how to do it without being taught.

No matter what is claimed, as long as one is single, especially at the prime of their lives, where they are most fertile, there will be issues with other single opposite sex people, who are around the same age.

Look at this case, someone who claims she doesn't want to get married ever. And with me, a friend of 4-5 years. We know we have no romantic feelings, and I was the one who talked in depth with her about her marriage decisions. I mean, if we are really at the understanding that everything is cool, we are as good as friends can be, then, why does our difference in gender come into play?

If I was a girl, and everything else is kept equal, I am 1000000% sure that this will not happen.

My point is, nothing much really. Just that, this example shows, proves, that single guys and single girls cannot be truly purely innocently friends. Impossible. As long as both are single, they will be the consideration at the back of your mind, "Is this person a possible partner?"

Or rather, "Can we fuck?"

-__________-

2010-10-14T19:38:00.002+08:00

Man, had a conflict today at work place...

I'm not one to pick fights, but at around lunch time, a colleague told me that a patient was going to pay $, but had some financial issues, so please could I come down and speak to them?

Well it was just nice lunch time, but fine, a job is a job and I went down... and when I was there, another staff told me that she got a message that the patient was to pay $$ to me, and I was to give a receipt to them (the receipt was already written). But where was the staff that was supposed to collect $$$?? Apparently she went for lunch already!!!

?????????

Look, I didn't like it, but I spent my lunch time talking to this patient aka DOING MY JOB. But, the person who asked me to come down, dumps her job (collecting money aka the thing that the patient came to look for her for) and goes off for lunch w/o even bothering to stay and hand over the duty properly. Not to mention, this collection of money is NOT EVEN MY JOB!!!

Oh well, later she argued that, she lunched in, i.e, she was readily available upstairs but I didn't ask her to come down. Er... well... DID U TELL ME YOU WERE UPSTAIRS?????????????? All the fuck u did was ask me to come down to talk to the patient, and you had given me the sliperooni by the time I came down! Yes I could have asked security if you were upstairs; but how the fuck am I supposed to know if you didn't say???? Remember, our company culture is EVERYONE LUNCH OUT. How the fuck I know u will lunch in?

You're saying as if, you lunched in so that in case I needed you to collect money, then you would be there. But since I didn't, its my fault. Like you sacrificed your lunch time outside for me, but now I am blaming you??? HELLO, who is the one who sacrificed lunch time????

If you really wanted to collect the money, you would have collected it before I came down ok! Yah, even if ""patient wanted to pay after talking to Jason", then lagi best, YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING STAYED TILL I TALKED FINISH, BCOS YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS SUPPOSE TO COLLECT $$!!!

Why not? Imagine I was downstairs first, and pt says he wants to pay $ then talk to me. So I ask u to come down. U will expect me to wait for $ to be paid then I talk to him right? Why the opposite cannot? Bcos you don't want to wait?

And if you really were prepared to come down which is "why you lunched in", then why the fuck didn't you let me know you were upstairs??? The answer, is because YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO KNOW U WERE UPSTAIRS!!!

Look, the thing is this, u just want to throw your job to others. U think that, "MSW talk to patient is their job" so you just think that you can ask people to collect $ for you! Well, I AM A MEDICAL SOCIAL WORKER NOT A MONEY COLLECTOR!

How would u like it if I asked u to come down to collect money, but then by the come u come I went for lunch? Then I ask someone to tell u to talk to this guy and find out his problem and counsel him? Cos u are already downstairs mah, just conveniently help me la?? Can???

U will say "FUCK U" rite??? That not only am I asking u to do my job, but I pangseh you and don't even bother to ask u face to face to help me? I just go buy lunch and ask someone else to pass message to u? That "I am available to help", but I don't tell u???

Can't believe people have the face to think they are right and don't admit mistake!!!

!##$%^%&&$^*& !!!!

Where the WEIRD things are

2010-01-28T23:14:00.005+08:00

I thought about this today, and I realized this trend, when I was thinking about all the girls I ever was interested in knowing better. Let me describe them. Remember, I am a changed man (even though I am writing under my Kaobeigia persona now), so this isn't a post to insult people. Yes I am ranting and ventilating, but all in all, if you happen to see it and is offended, remember, criticism should be taken constructively and positvely. You can't change others, you can only change yourself. Let's go!

No.1 : Perpetually euphoric, always hyper, screaming and squealling. Like a pixie. Always trying to be overly friendly, even pretending to be happy that I graduated (which was when I last saw her)

No.2: Pseudo lesbian wannabe. Fate made her meet with my fren's mom, but she doesn't want to get to know him further. But lets me know abt meeting her anyway. (FOR WHAT?)

No.3: Also hyper. Quite bubbly. Aspiring composer without the aspirations. Like a gypsy trapped in a singaporean body. Not much inclination towards guys.

No.4: Not feminine has a secondary sch attitude towards feminity (same hair, same look, same clothes, doesn't care about guys). Can't seem to say no, and tends to be too diplomatic. Recently described as "good catch" by someone else. I almost puked.

No5: Never met before, and never ever will. Reason: because she doesn't go out with people she never see before. Deleted her, added her, and got her no. Message me just to show that "girls do message guys", but how about I show her why she's guai lan? Because she agreed to go out, before going back on her word because reason: think will have nothing to say, and then it reminds her of when she was at the end of the last relationship, where she also have nothing to say to her ex. WORST EXCUSE EVER.

No6: Never met before and never will. Always says "so sian, I want BF, no one to go out with, I wan BF !! BF!! BF!!" And when I ask her out.... she acts shocked and gives dumb excuses. Nuff said.

No7: "Wants to be a spinster". "Doesnt' want to waste time with guys" Er.. then why are you going out and sms-ing the guy friend I helped intro u to??

No8: Sleeps at home everyday. Really.

No9: U would expect a very friendly person, who acts like 20, but who is actually 30 and above, to have the open minded-ness, and maturity, and fun loving nature, to be open to guys? Well, welcome to the SECOND WORST EXCUSE ever. "I didn't reply to your msg cos I thought u sent it to the wrong person."

No10: Says "okok no problem" to meeting, voluntarily told me she is free, and then PANGSEHS two days later. WORST PANGSEH EVER.

In conclusion, have u noticed that these ten, out of the last fourteen that I ever was interested in knowing, EXHIBITS WEIRD BEHAVIORS???????

Is it just me or why is it they always have something weird about them?????

Well, something to think abt.. huh?

The last post of Kaobei-Kaobu: Pt 1

2008-12-29T20:34:00.002+08:00

This is probably a suprise, but I realised that I have been using this site for the past 3 years. The new year is coming, and I want to freshen things up with my recordings about my life experiences. I have already selected a new blog skin, and a new URL to change things up a little, and there will be a few changes to what I write. Hence this will be THE LAST EDITION OF THIS BLOG! A special 3 part edition!!! =)

Why the change? Well, when I started this blog, I wanted an avenue where I could express freely what is difficult to do in the real world. And I have done it to a good extent. I am never one to mince my words, and never one to write things to appeal to others. I just do it bcos these are my opinions, and if u understand me, u would know why I write them, but if u don't, then I don't need to care what u think.

However, sometimes I look around and I do see very negative and crappy things I write, and I see my black background and green words and I think, "Who the hell will want to visit?" Indeed, although attendance was good at a time, I realise the people and the frequency they visit has decreased exponentially. That's rather sad to me, bcos being human, we are social creatures. If we really wanted shit to be private, we would get a diary. We aren't supposed to write blogs for others, but that doesn't mean that we would be happy if no one read.

I would like to thank the people who have supported this blog all this few years. U have given me the motivation to carry on. People including and not limited to JY, SM, ZC, MO, DH, JL, Kit, Yw, Steph, JB, SY, Alex, JZ, Lionel, Piat... And for the people who had a cup of coffee here, I do hope the 1 or 2 times u read here made u have a little fun, and I am sorry u didn't stay.

With that in mind, let us review my fav posts since the beginning of the blog ^o^. Start with Part 1: 2006 !!!

"Friends"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2006/04/friends.html#links

Historical bcos of the first time I ever ranted about friends and why we shld spend time with them and the excuses we make and I also showed naiveness by talking positively abt the MSH friends... Meh.. see how much can change in 2.5 years?

"Nana-Nana"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2006/04/
nana-nana_114632887704215629.html#links

The first time ever I talked abt Meijia, and I feel this was a sincere effort to get people interested in something I really liked at the time. Good that it got one of the highest comments rate ever.

"10 more years of this"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2006/04/
nana-nana_114632887704215629.html#links

Talking about reservist led me to reflect on the extreme and permanent changes NS had on me. I also shared about the mixed feelings I had about it and the apprehension about returning.

"Mika-addicted"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2006/06/mika-addicted_04.html#links

I talked in depth about Meijia here, and I think it was a good and honest analysis about why I love this woman so much.

"Stuff about me"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2006/07/stuff-about-me.html#links

I wrote at 1 shot, at random 50 things about me which no one knew. I think it was good for reflecting on what the hell happened in my life, and to let others know about me.

"Music Review"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2006/10/music-review.html#links

My first shot at reviewing an album.. and I tot I did a good and fair analysis of Meijia's 3rd album.

"2006"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2006/12/
2006_116715236591167149.html#links

My first time ever using the Jason Rating System. I think it was a nice review of my year in 2006.

The last post of Kaobei-Kaobu: Pt 2

2008-12-29T20:33:00.001+08:00

Part 2!

"诞生日おめでとう!!!"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/02/blog-post_19.html#links

Talking about my feelings for Meijia's birthday made me really good.

"1 Litre of Thoughts"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/03/1-litre-of-thoughts.html#links

After the most touching Jap Drama EVER, it was time to pen my feelings down. I think I wrote it very sincerely with the hope that someone might take something away and even watch the show.

"YES Review"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/04/yes-review.html#links

Another review of Meijia's 4th album.

"Importance"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/05/importance_07.html#links

I think I really put a lot of effort in this one, to bring the perspective that actually, we are all important in some way to others, and just as we hope people can appreciate us when we care for them, we should appreciate others too when they care for us, bcos we mean a lot to them.

她她
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/05/blog-post.html#links

First time I wrote about Tomato, and I think I really described what she meant and still means to me very well.

"Ow" and "... "
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/07/blog-post_12.html#links
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/07/ow.html#links

We can put these 2 together, in contrast of 1 another about the end of my placement experience. I think there was a lot of emotion in there, cos it was real time, what I was really experiencing. And no one deserves such an experience man.

"From Me to u"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/07/from-me-to-you.html#links

1 of the most emotional pieces ever by me. I really was very sincere about my feelings towards my ex sup and towards the future.

"Smackdown"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/07/smackdown.html#links

An article 4 years in the making, I really wrote my opinions on a very spectacular nite. Be it the pictures, or my views and reflections, I think I provided a good read on the wwe trip in Singapore.

"Nice Thinking Nice Lesson"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/09/nice-thinking-nice-lesson.html#links

From a lesson in HK, I really learned a lot about the people there, and about my own culture as a Singaporean.

"Oct 1"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/10/oct-1.html#links

I think this was a nice little post, just talking about the things I enjoyed during the beginning of HK.

"Out of the blue"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/11/out-of-blue.html#links

I was really lonely towards the end of Hk, and I feel this was an accurate representation of my feelings. I think I also realised to myself what a crappy person I was.

"Taipei, Taiwan"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/11/taiwan.html#links

On a bright note, Taipei was really awesome. Even tho the social experience there was full of unimaginable shit which I have no idea how I put up with it, but nothing can bring the joy of mei meis away!

"Jay, I am legend"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/12/jay-i-am-legend.html#links

I liked this. Showing off my analytical, observational and charming witty writing skills again. ^ ^

"Important~"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/12/important.html#links

ONE of the most important posts I ever wrote. In response to bunny girl, I carved out this masterpiece. Of cos, NOBODY gave a damn. Guess we always take for granted what is happening.. and only if u were in such a situation, then maybe u would appreciate what I said?

"What I will miss"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2007/12/what-i-will-miss.html#links

Very straight forward, sad, appreciative, and looking to the future.

The last post of Kaobei-Kaobu: Pt 3

2008-12-29T20:02:00.004+08:00

"Looking at the past, looking at the future" http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/01/
looking-at-past-looking-at-future.html#links

I like this post. I really do. Instead of just criticizing and saying F words like I do, I think I provided a really nice reflective post on education paths in our country, and my thoughts on what it meant to an old guy like me, and for new generations of students. "

aiyayaya"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/01/
aiyayaya.html#links

A nice little post about my enemy. Basically this gets people to know about the kind of people I really dislike.

"陳綺貞"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/01/
blog-post.html#links What's there NOT to like abt her?

"Top 10 excuses"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/02/
top-10-excuses.html#links

There are times when I write emo posts, or insightful ones. But I really am at my best when I churn out cynical, sacarstic, yet bluntly honest things abt how superficial people are. Posts where people may complain and feel I am an ass, because I make them feel shame at realising I am telling the truth. ^o^

"Diary of a lecturer"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/03/
diary-of-lecturer.html#links U can thank my Mkt1003 lecturer for this.

"A weekend of man ass"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/03/
weekend-of-men-ass.html#links

ONE OF MY FAVORITE POSTS. PERIOD.

"Another half year wrestling post"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/04/ another-bi-half-year-wrestling-post-2.html#links

Wooooo!

"Sad man"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/
04/sad-man.html#links

Another awesome post. Sometimes its the little things u see in life that create the most inspiration for a blog.

"The Dark Knight"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/07/
dark-knight.html#links

I proved I still have IT when it came to writing reviews on movies.

"The Biggest Edition of No Buys Ever"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/09/
biggest-no-buys-ever.html#links

Not something I am proud of, but a very impt post in my life. U will either think I am the most pitiful or the most bastard person in the world after this.

"What I found out from online dating 2"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/10/ what-ive-found-out-from-online-dating_27.html#links

My favorite post of the trilogy. Someone had to suffer to tell u people about the truth of online dating right? U're welcome.

"Awestruck"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008
/11/awestruck.html#links

Dedicated to Miss Han Shui.

"Same Sex Phenomenon"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/11/
same-sex-phenomenon.html#links

As usual, I got into my Joker mode and attempted (rather successfully) to spill the truth about the fact that GUYS JUST DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER. How do people actually enjoy Man on Man porn?? I have no idea.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"
http://kaobei-kaobu.blogspot.com/2008/12/
hell-hath-no-fury-like-womans-scorn.html#links

The truth, nothing but the truth.

THE END.

Xmas edition!

2008-12-26T12:35:00.004+08:00

Welcome again !! I decided to bust out the “Jason rating system again”, last used to review the batman movie. Why not Buys and No Buys? I guess a change occasionally is good to freshen up my blog content, and also, sometimes life is really grey and can’t be defined totally in Buys and No Buys, u know what I mean?

Good

Xmas came early

Really feeling the Xmas mood in office!!! The trees, the decos, THE CAKES, the snacks, and the nice presents people gave oh man!!!! Sooooo nice!!! SO MUCH CAKE!! And I was so happy on Xmas eve in office ^0^

And I spent a lot of time selecting about 20 presents!! And then writing nice notes specially to everyone!! And some idiots would think this is too girly but the fuck with what u think.. kiss my ass u know?.. I felt great doing it bcos it is always better to give than to receive! Nice to see smiles on their faces!!

Return of the kids

Many buys to meeting the befrienders and befriendees again! All grow up a bit already haha!! My old fren Clarence is still as noisy as ever. But great to see him la! But really dude, u need to shut the fuck up with the vulgarities. NS is still what, 4 years away??

Where did I get my smart genes from

Well, my visit to Lionel’s involved getting a present for exchange. Well this time, at the last minute, I decided to give away my (relatively) new copy of Daisaku Ikeda’s “Unforgettable Friends”. Some may think I am cheapskate which I am not, cos it cost $20, or that I am just giving something I do not want, which is also not *exactly* true. The thing is, normally we get crappy presents from friends. Even if they were decent, I don’t knw for girls, but guys being guys, will just give normal guy crap. Wallet, Earphone, Water Bottle, Shirt, Towel, CD, Socks, PSP accessory, PS3 accessory, World of Warcraft expansion pack, Condoms, FHM etc etc.. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

So basically being the smarty I am and knowing we are at the crossroads of our lives, I know what my friends REALLY need. Ask yourself, at the age of 24, as u are starting ur career and pondering the path ur life will take, would u rather receive a NARUTO wallet (sup Jianzong?) or a book full of wisdom from a world renowned religious leader?

Grey areas

We need a life

Met PeiPei, Weiling and Huiyi on last Friday. That’s great cos I haven’t seen them in ages. But this is where the Buys ends.

First, disappointed only 4 people came. Bad timing. And second, from my online dating post #2, here is what I had to say: “People with no social life relying on one another will just create a black hole of nothing.” And here “nothing” means spending most of the time during a rare outing to talk about what a Medical Social Worker does in an acute hospital. Its not horrible per se.. I could think of worse things that we could have done, and I understand that this profession is really sacred and nobody outside will understand the fuck shit SWs go thru, so u can only talk to ur peers for support; but really.. come on! Don't we have other things to say?

Trying to believe in TCM

In another edition of dark secrets of me, actually I have embarked on my journey in the realm of acupuncture treatment for quite a time already. And all I want to say is 1) I respect the doctor so much bcos he has to do things that even a PROSTITUTE may not want to do. 2) After certain things are done to u.. I think its safe to say my threshold for human torture has increased.

The Tri-yearly party

For the FIRST TIME EVER in 3 years, we finally met at Lionel’s house. And there is really good stuff and not so good. The good is of cos, I got to see people like Sim Kiat who had relocated to the Moon apparently, and others who I don’t meet regularly. It was good times as we just went nostalgic, talking about big nostrils China Maths teacher, Psycho English teacher who made us POWs 1 day (don’t ask, my ass still hurts >.<), Middle age crisis Chinese teacher who finally became HOD, Short teacher who can snap a chopstick with a sheet of paper and thought us to SING Chinese poems and the ever increasingly Senile Principal Ang Tou Ni ( Red Bean Milk). It’s a wonder the shit that we experienced back in the day. Good times.

However.. I think at times we all just didn't know what to say, what to do. And its a shame cos when we were kids, we could just find some fuck shit to do, and now, with our own lives and issues, the gathering jus became a very very symbolic kind of going for the sake of going thing. And no doubt its sad that 12 years ago we had so much more fun than now, but I guess that's life.

Bad

Do I need to be interviewed if I bought a bookmark from Mom and Pop’s down the street?

Its a great thing that I am waiting for the small gohonzon, BUT and there is always a BUT in life, I feel its so overly complicated. The process, I mean, which requires u to sign application form, get the leaders of the zone to verify and sign, interview u, and then when u get it, there's some ceremony thing and have to go on stage. WOW. U may think I won some award, but no its just my small pendant sized gohonzon. I understand that they wanna make it a special thing for all members who take this step, but really, isn't it weird that u are supposed to pray with the gohozon, the beads, the prayer book, but yet the latter 2 are readily available, but for the first u have to go thru so much?? And just for a very small thing?? Oh did I mention the HOME VISIT they wanted do?? WOW. JUST WOW.

WA HU HU HU HUA HA HA HA HA

Jus wanna point out superficial stuff that people do. 1) Pretending to still read the blog. “Oh I still read u knw, ya like that time u went to Europe..” Nice try, that was SIX MONTHS AGO. 2) Trying to make me feel good by saying “u look slimmer now lei.. and more muscular sia..” YEAH RIGHT.

It all depends on the person

Not to be bitter or anything, but a few girls are actually showing off photos where guys are just drapping hands over them.. Heh. And we are talkin abt sweet, next door, nice, guai girls, whom u wouldn't expect to be so open. Note that I’m just taking it at face value; the said guys could be their brothers or fathers or whatever for all I care, but when they couldn't even wan to get to know me more but they let other guys, to put it crudely, dong4 shou3 dong4 jiao3 with them.. what does this mean? It means: trust is really such a impt thing. Really, when u trust someone, A LOT of shit can be done one. Similarly when u don't, no matter how good the person is, u just don’t give a shit.

Ridiculous

This is why search engines suck

Fuck www.gothere.sg ! I know this is only 1 negative experience, but it is common sense that when I type “West Coast Park”, the map should show the way to u know.. WEST COAST PARK and; not “West Coast Park” i.e piece of land along expressway which is 288m from Faber Hills Condo; where I can’t even ask directions cos there is only bangelas and PRC foreign workers there. CCB.

Fuck the office computers in meeting rooms

For such a small company, I don't think it takes a lot to create a system where everyone's password and username can be used in any computer right? Why must the computer in the meetings rooms be so special??? WHY???

The idiot who tot of the marina bay balls on water idea is such a dumbass

I urge everyone to go there and see how fucking stupid the place looks. BALLS ON WATER. If I wanted to see that, I could go to east coast. I think some idiot (prob some govt A star scholar from some country) saw the times where people lighted candles on lotuses and floated them and tot it was so cool..! Yes that is cool, but which part of this sea of floating dinosaur shit draws any resemblence to that??

And I’m outta here!!

Ten Levels

2008-12-21T22:39:00.002+08:00

Great events justify their own posts, so even though this is a BUY, it will have its own place in my column.

A new friend Vincent (apparently a high ranking member of the chapter/district), shared abt the 10 levels of life from N-Buddhism teachings.

Tier 3

10. Hell
09. Hunger
08. Animality
07. Anger.

This is a tier where the person is not happy. Nothing goes well, everything is shit, and everything happens cos of things outside your control. This is not true according to the teachings, but it is the perception the person has, because they allow themselves to be controlled to the events that happen, and they just react to them. But bcos they believe that they cant do anything, they won't, and whatever shit happens, its not their fault. Its heaven, the government, the economy, the terrorists, the office people, my mp, my family, old garang guni man on block 91 etc..

2nd tier

06. The human realm
05. The heaven realm

This is a tier where u are not unhappy. In 06, basically it means u are like nuah-ing. Nothing good is happening, but at least nothing totally bad. Just living ur life day by day. In 05, it means u actually feel at the top of the world, like in heaven. Be it a sudden windfall, or ur girlfriend decided to marry u, or u found out u are the long lost son of MM Lee, the world is suddenly the coolest place ever!!

However, why are they only at 2nd tier?? Its cos, as a person here, u are still swayed and manipulated by outside forces. If it takes a windfall to make u happy, then what abt the other 51 weeks this year where u wasted ur money on 4D? And if something bad happens, then as fast as ur spirits went up, u will come crashing down too.

1st tier

04. State of realisation
03. State of learning
02. State of Boddhisava
01. State of Buddhahood

And here we are. What distinguishes a person on the way to Buddhahood from a normal person is that change should come from within. Our life is ours, and only we know our issues, and only we know our own self and therefore only we know how to solve our problems. Relying on outside factors will never work in the long run because u will not take responsibility for ur own life, and how can u expect to make positive changes then? If u dont take responsibility, then when something good happens, u take it for granted. When things are bad, then it will never be ur fault. Things would only be in a limbo then.

No matter what happens, even if u are like super poor, no family.. if u are able to elevate ur life to that of a Buddha, then no matter what the world is, u will be able to see it with enlightened perception, and then the issues will be different and more importantly, solveable. If u are able to do so, things would fall into place, and ur path is clear.

Imagine, for such a person. 1) If they are so angry and resentful and sad and depressed, how will they have motivation to want to solve their issues? All they can see is the immediate reality at face value. How will they want to find a job, when they will think its impossible in this economy? If they are just waiting for help to come, then even if it does, they cannot live on it for long term rite? 2) If they are so fucked up in whatever they think and do, then WHO is going to want to help them? People like this can complain, I'm trying... why people avoid me, ignore me.. But if they themselves are so negative and complaining and resentful, then everyone will avoid them.

People think that $$$$ is everything (sup Mark?), or power, or status, or having the most material possessions. But if u are not in a state of life that is positive, then NOTHING WILL EVER BE ENOUGH. Because u are not at peace, no matter what u have, u cannot be happy. In fact, u stand to LOSE even more. Look at all the fuckers who caused the economic crisis. Its cos they wanted more more more, they wanted things they are not supposed to get, things beyond their means. And then when everything starts to fall, the last person they blame is themselves, and it all becomes a full cycle of shit happening.

Yup thats all.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

2008-12-16T16:45:00.007+08:00

Recent experiences have led me to want to write, and actually its something that's on my mind for a while.

Again, this is my opinion, I am not trying to be sexist, but sometimes I do not agree when people say women are the weaker sex etc etc.. physically yes, men can at most hurt u through physical actions, and most of the time it is thru physical pain, bcos typical MCPs just think that force can settle everything. BUT THAT IS TOTALLY NOT TRUE.

In my view, women are far more deadly than men, and this is a very big compliment I feel.

Why? Bcos women are experts at causing very severe emotional pain to others. And I can tell u, even if u can't heal from physical wounds, u can at least cope. But if u suffer emotional trauma, it can follow u for very long. And the amazing thing is, women don't need to use much physical effort, and sometimes they don't even need to try.

All it takes is just some looks of hatred, some words of sacarsm, some body language directed towards u, and u can feel like the biggest loser in the entire solar system. Seriously, when they are on form, everything becomes your fault, and u can really feel like shit.

Take my sister for example. When she is on fire, the devil himself may even burst into tears. When my sister called Paypal to complain once, and was met with the standard template replies from the call operators. She just snapped. She suddenly became a really cold blooded person with NO compassion and NO remorse. What did she do? She didn't even need to shout and scream. She just very very calmly BUT very very honestly but insensitively and sacarstically insulted the person for being THE WORST CALL OPERATOR ON THE PLANET. And it wasn't full of F Bombs and CBs. It was normal English but twisted in such a menancing tone wrapped with impactful vocabulary that even me, who has known her for 20+ years, was so suprised that I really prayed for the poor girl on the other end that she wouldn't quit and commit suicide. SERIOUSLY.

And whats even worse? For men, maybe you can tell, from the signs before the storm. U may see the volcano changing before eruption. But for women, OMG, you won't even know when they can strike.. its like 911 when it happens, smashing thru you with no warning whatsoever, and your world can come tumbling in like seconds.

If you can't even tell from looking at them, than u definitely cannot tell from the the 'wrong' things that u did. What I mean is that even if a guy wanted to tekan u, it would be something that could make sense. Something OBJECTIVE that u deserve their rage. But for a lady... if they want to, even if u didn't refill your stapler bullet, or u forgot to take a blank paper from the printer, or u just want to ask their opinion... GOD SAVE U.

Whats the moral? NEVER PISS A WOMAN OFF.

Buys and No Buys- Mid Dec

2008-12-15T10:36:00.031+08:00

After a long break, its time for Buys and No Buys again!!!

Buys: Came back from Taiwan 1 week ago, and must say, it was a great holiday. I remember the rush to do as much stuff in office b4 I left, and I was still tryin to get the family to take a pt in minutes b4 knock off. But I digress. Anyway, as I mentioned last year, Taiwan is really an awesome holiday place.. the food is great, the girls are cute (thou quite disappointed compared to last yr), the places are nice, and everything is so fucking cute!!!!! Seriously, u can buy super cute christmas cards at like 50 cent, and get cardboard to hold hot drinks which have cartoons on them, for free!! Man, I should go back again soon ^ ^

Buys: Last week was my dept retreat, so only THREE working days.. soooooo gooooood!!!!! Not a bad day at all, though I won't lie.. I really wanted to sleep than come; but the activities were fun, we learnt more about each other's dark secrets (sup Chaihong?), we declared our liking for each other (sup Wei Wei?), we played fun games, and its quite interesting what u can do with a little paper and a little bit of space. The lunch at Figs and Olives was great too.. I would love to return again. And I won't forget the Charades! Seriously, how did the other team guess "Wall E" in like 2 seconds??

No Buys: Last week totally no mood to work.. zzzzzz

No Buys: My online friendmaking has come to a halt suddenly. Lack of response is obviously a factor, but boredom is really a big part too. I mean, cycling thru lists of ugly people, sending out millions of messages, and even if people care, u got to repeat urself over and over again.. "Hi.. I am Jason, I do ...., I love... , my hobbies are..... " I know I am lazy but I think I know now why many people stop going after some time.

No Buys: to THAT GUY. Yeah Fuck you. Enjoy being banged in jail.

Buys: To the upcoming christmas party at leh's place! Really miss the times where we get to chill there and play basketball. This is the first time in THREE YEARS we are going there, so I want to really enjoy it; but at the same time, other than a few close ones, I really have NO expectations from these friends anymore. So just go and have a good time, and see them another year later, that's all I want.

No Buys: I didn't really like the 2 movies I watched this week, "The day the earth stood still" and "Cape 7". For the former, it wasn't bad per se, the trailers did their job making me curious... but it was really very underwhelming. And Keanu is quickly entering the zone of "actor who can only act 1 kind of person." (sup Donnie Yen?) As for the latter, tomato seemed to like it, and it was a good change of scenery from the usual American hollywood crap we always see. The main characters are hot, and the old man was funny as hell, BUT that does not make a good movie IMO. There was way too much filler in it, and a lot of things just happened for no reason. In short, they laid out a potentially good beginning, but I think they tried really too hard with too many storylines and characters, and in the end they couldn't develop the story much and make me emotionally involved. And there is no personality of the characters in the film. If the only thing I can know about the main character is he is a grouchy, screaming Ah Beng, then something is wrong right.

Buys: Finally met Tomato again, and I really like to be with her. =p And I hope she doesn't feel the opposite. Moving on.

Buys: Met SY, Jiaobin, MC, SY's friend and girlfriend for supper in Geylang. And man, is that place sleazy! But the food was great and I need to try it again! Anyway, good times bcos I had not met SY and JB for 1 year plus and SY's friend for like 2 million years. Just a minor gripe, I don't really prefer to have a girl in a guys outing, especially if its bcos the couple is inseperatable. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them if thats the case, but sometimes we need to have boundaries, u know what I mean?

Buys: As u can tell by now, I'm quite enjoying Atari Koshuke. By no means do I think he has "the most gentle voice in Asia", but I must admit he does have a very unique singing voice and style. He has a very Japanese folk singer kind of voice, and I do like "hana" a lot. And well, he's hot. Sup tomato?

No Buys: There was this article about teenage mums, single mums etc going online and blogging, joining forums, forming networks with one another.. I think its a great thing, and then I saw the negative comments. Even a psychologist said its dangerous and bad for them to go online and do such stuff, may attract pervs and will attract criticisms. First, I get what she meant, but pervs are EVERYWHERE online. Even if u are a successful, strong, capable, totally no issues kind of person, if a perv wants u, he will try to go after u. Just don't declare ur blogs to everyone la. And more importantly, I wish all teenage mums would say FUCK YOU to all the haters. Why is having a baby at a young age "shameful, disgusting, disgracful?" I think its 2008, not 1908 , where having babies out of wedlock will get u into the pigs cage, or 1608, where people may have took out pickaxes and pitchforks and burnt the said women. These young girls were caught in a corner, and would u haters be happier if they aborted instead?? Then they would be "murderers" right? They chose to tough it out, try their best to raise a child, often BY THEMSELVES. And now all they want is some support and encouragement. Maybe they can't provide the absolute best for the child, and adoption may have been better in hindsight, but if they are doing their duties as mothers properly, then I have nothing but respect for them. Seriously, this is how stupid some Singaporeans are. If u have so much free time to bitch about problems online, how about bitching about THOSE CCB KNN PNM BULLIES WHO ABUSE THE INTERNET TO HUMILIATE THEIR VICTIMS?

Buys: For many things. 1) The shoe throwing 2) Missing at such a near distance 3) Inefficiency of the 'best bodyguards' in the world. 4) Great reflexes from the old man.

My first post of Dec

2008-12-12T18:30:00.005+08:00

Again, I am inspired so to speak, to write something. Its actually something I talk about all the time; I just find diff ways to rehash it. Yup its about relationships AGAIN (*collective moan*)

I just looked at someone's blog recently and thought to myself, "I know this person doesn't give 2 shits abt me now, has forgotten I exist, so why am I even bothered to read the blog and find out what's goin on in her life?" And to think back, its a glaring trend that I am ALWAYS more into people's lifes, LONG AFTER their memories of me have turned to dust.

At some point in my life, I know I played a part in many people's lives, but somehow or other, they move on eventually, and I am TOTALLY forgotten. Off the top of my head, Melissa the bitch, Yong Hong, Yunzhi, CK, Tom cat, Guorui, Johnathan Fok, Stephanie Sun (not HER obviously), Tom Chan, Simin, Cindy, Xuan, Cheryl, Emilyn ALL have forgotten me.

I'm not saying thy are evil or what, cos some of them did their best to be a friend and be there, at whatever stage of life I met them. Its just that, sometimes it seems so sad that within a couple of years or even months that they forgot I exist.

But somehow, today I suddenly thot: As a social worker, I intervene in people's lives, create some changes; hopefully positive in the long run; people hopefully are nice and grateful and we share some good times. And then when they are okay, I have to leave their lives. And if I don't hear from them, I take it that they are leading better lives.

I think if I see it this way, there are parallels with my professional life and what happened to me and my "friends". The thing is, people are selfish and have many needs. We have to accept it. A lot of times, I knew these people and perpetuated a relationship with them because we both were at a right place and a right time, we both had needs that we could get from the other person, but then, when the time came, we just moved on bcos we no longer needed each other.

I think I am quite alright if I perceive it that, when people no longer need me, it means that their need was fulfilled and hopefully, they have developed into better people and are now much happier. =)

The Wrestler

2008-11-22T22:57:00.009+08:00

Its time for the best post this past 6 months that no one reads, maybe except JY. I have been wanting to do my bi-annual wrestling post for some time, and this gives me the right platform to do so.. for this upcoming film.

Mickey Rourke acts as Randy, a Pro wrestler who's at the top of the world. The glam, the lights, the pyros, the action, the crowd. Its all addictive and passionate, and its all he lives for. And then the drinking, the smoking, the partying.. its all a wild and fun life..

Till he hits middle age and he's still doing the same old thing, only that he's much older, much less able to perform, and while he was making thousands cheer back in the day, he has to swimp for a living every weekend wrestling in small gyms in New Jersey. He's reminising about the glory days, but inside the bulky intimidating figure, is a broken down person who doesn't have much to live for. He's suffering the after effects of long term drug abuse and injuries from performing. He's estranged from his only daughter, because he drifted away from his family while he travelling the high roads. He has to work low paying jobs just to survive. He wants to go after a stripper he met, but even a serious relationship seems so difficult for him. He wants to return to the ring but he knows the heart attack he just suffered may cost him his life.

What went wrong?

As a wrestling fan, this film is really really beyond what I can describe. It describes the highs and lows of being a wrestler; living the wild life, being high, being adored by fans; but on the flip side, behind the curtain, are men and women who on a good day, suffer bruises and sprains, who lead a tough life travelling from place to place. It shows the numerous sacrifices one must do to practice this craft; the training, the pain, the medication, the steriods, and the loneliness from being seperated from their loved ones; and after many years, they are still forced to continue down a road that could claim their lives one day.

It is inspirational as it tells people to go after their dreams; it shows the passion and dedication to something they love, but it is also sad because u finally see the pain and suffering they go through, and u would wish they would stop, but u know they can't because its the only thing they can do.

I think this film is really a milestone for the industry. For fans, it teaches us to respect the people behind the masks and costumes, and not to take their sacrifices for granted. For others, it gives an inside view into the background that is common to many wrestlers, and shows the hard truth behind all the "fake fighting" and "chessy storylines". And for the performers, this is something that they have waited decades for the world to see on a mainstream stage, so that finally they can gain some respect from all the critics and naysayers, and for their efforts to be appreciated.

This film has won at the Venice film festival, and is safely a top 10 film in contention for nomination for best picture in the academy awards, and Mickey Rourke, an actor seeking a comeback after going through years of struggles, is a very fitting person to play a character who he shares a similar life with, as evident by being nominated for best actor in the golden globes.

Rock on!

Buys and No Buys- Nov pt 2

2008-11-21T14:17:00.002+08:00

Buys: Brock Lesnar defeated Randy Couture at UFC 91 to win the Heavyweight title. Now for a few reasons this is great; it had a great back story of the young lion vs the fighting veteran, whether the guy who has done it all can combat the mystique of Brock who has been hyped as the future of UFC despite only being in THREE professional fights, furthermore the fact that Courture was coming off about ONE FULL YEAR of non fighting; and the irony that altho both men came from amateur wrestling backgrounds, Brock had never faced anyone with such an experience edge, and Courture had never combated such a 265 pound beast like Lesnar. In the end, the OLD MAN lost, and we can debate all day whether a rookie like Brock deserved a title shot, and whether pitting a very marketable rising star against a rusty old man is match fixing, the important thing is its symbolizing the passing of the torch, and is a special moment for the rising sport, and judging from the FOURTH highest live gate in UFC history, and expectations of this being the highest grossing UFC event EVER, this is definitely awesome. As a fan of his back from wwe days, I do wish Brock all the best in his new career. =)

No Buys: To guy after my sis. Look, Jiang1 Xin1 Bi3 Xin1, I'm a guy too and I am desperate like u too. Furthermore ur situation is worse cos u are over 30. However, I did this b4 and I can tell u nothing good is going to come out of showing ur desperation!! I can understand wanting to skip the Msn and Sms stage and go straight to dating, so u can know straight away if she is suitable for u.. but I am totally on my sister's side in that, U ARE A STRANGER!!!! She doesn't know u at all, and u don't want to let her get to know u.. and then u just want her number???? And just saying u want to call her, and call her like in 10 mintues, and ask ME for the number.. SI MI SAI?????

Buys: Guess no one knew I joined Pilates?? Well I do and for the record.. IT WAS INVENTED BY A GUY. So no gay jokes please!!! Anyway, to explain how "good" it feels, let me just say that if pilates were to replace BMT tekaning, it would totally revolutionize the BMT experience.

No Buys: Caught Quantum of Solace last week, and must say, altho its no buys, I didn't feel I really wasted my time. The good stuff was done very well, and FOR ONCE he did not sleep with the female lead. With that being said, it was really mind boggling when u try to understand the "plot". Seriously what the fuck is going on in the show??? This is what I hate about modern cinema. A simple story would do, but scripwriters like to entangle story arcs, include multiple extra characters, have like 1000 twists and counter twists just to screw with the audience, have conspiracies within conspiracies just for the sake of conspiracies. Seriously, there's only 3 things a bond film needs: Bond, Guns & Explosions and the Babes. Let's move on.

No Buys: CPF board sucks. Fuck them. Why in the fuck can't someone retrieve CPF info when they lost their Singpass password??? WHY WHY WHY??? Do u know that in EVERY OTHER WEBSITE IN THE WORLD where u have an account, u are able to retrieve ur lost password like almost instantly???? Whether its sports forum, adult video website, ebay account, KFC chickie kids memberships, anything also can !!!!!! WHY CPF WHY??

No Buys: Since we're on the topic of unreasonably bad service from govt related organisations, what is up with the TTSH C&C hotline???? Why is NO ONE attending to the HOTLINE on 3pm???? Is this some joke??

Buys: Still liking my latest drama, Endless love, or Xin Bu Liao Qin. Of cos we all know the story, and it is awesome bcos it is after all, the granddaddy of all stories with the theme: "cute girl who gets terminal illness and inspires people with her will to live". Yes, 1 Litre no Namida and Taiyou no Uta.. u are the copycats.. but anyway, this remake captures quite a lot of the old film, even with identical scenes with the original. In addition, the drama is filmed in such a way it visually resembles a film and not a HK drama (alto it strictly isn't). And most of all, we can all agree that the show is carried by the wonderful acting of Xue Kaiting... I mean Kaiqi.. !!

Buys: I was invited to be a part of photoshoot for my company's ad for an event.. and this reminds me that this is the SECOND time in 2 weeks that I was part of a shoot!!! Now I can say that NKF is short of male young guns that have the X-factor ( means a lot of old ppl there la ), but still, if this isn't a testament to the fact that people actually think I look decent at least, then nothing is.. so for all the people (YOU KNOW WHO U ARE) that ever criticized my looks, KISS MY ASS !!!!!

No Buys: Recently read abt Hazing (i.e Tekan behaviors in the name of fun) in the papers, and must say.. I agree that something's gotta give man. I HAVE been through the 2 life stages that hazing normally occurs (adolescent school and army) and I can understand why people do such things to one another. However, there has to be a line drawn between fun and "fun". And it is really difficult to differentiate or put a definition on them. Hence I am in favour of just out right BANNING such behaviors. For people that object, maybe u haven't been hazed before? Then of cos u won't know how it feels. From personal experience I can tell that being hazed is NOT fun at all, and "but they enjoy it too what.." is just an excuse for those sadists ok. NOBODY enjoys being "taupok-ed" or "having yoko yoko rubbed in their privates" or "having their manhood rammed into lamp-posts". Grow up u fucking kids.

No Buys: And just for comparison, altho both issues involve self development of our youths, Hazing is far worse than the MDIS shit recently. U can show off ur ass, dye ur fucking hair, make ur boobs size 39E.. THAT'S UR PROBLEM. If u get caught on camera by some ah pek and u appear on upskirts.com, THAT'S UR PROBLEM COS U CHOSE TO DO IT. Besides, those kids will grow out of the rebellious stage when they reach the corporate world, bcos they have no choice. But for Hazing, they are humiliating and HARMFUL activities where the UNWILLING victim normally has NO CHOICE but to PRETEND to play along, bcos they don't want to be ostracized. Like I say, if schools have so much time, go tackle the real problems instead of caring about what Tan Pei Xia in BE1234 class is wearing today.

No Buys: My nice colleague is leaving soon. Despite knowing her for less than 3 months, we have been quite nice to each other and since we both joined around the same time, we did go through quite a bit of the blur and adapting stage together, and without her, things would have been much worse. Really sorry that she had so much issues with the work here, and I know it must have been a difficult choice to make. Somemore I would be in TW on her last day.. SAD!!! Whatever it is, I hope we still remain friends for a long while, and not become "friends", or as I say in Chinese, Guo4 Ke4. I have enough "friends" already.

Same Sex Phenomenon

2008-11-19T10:46:00.005+08:00

Just tot its cute to write this.. disclaimer first.. in no way am I being a sexist towards either gender.. I'm just stating facts.

Here is a typical scenario where a girl meets another girl, and say, they are normal friends, who were in a group.. but not in contact, suddenly meeting in a social setting.

BeiBei: Hellooooo JinJin!!! Wah so loooong never seeeee!!!!

JinJin: Yipeeeeee!!!!! BeiBei I misssss uuuuuu soooooo muchhhhhhh!!!!!

BeiBei: OMG OMG OMG u look so pretty!!!!! Did u just color ur hair?????

JinJin: Yesssss!!!! Oh u are sooooo sweeeet!!!! Its a mixture of orange and purple..!!! Only 145 dollars!!!!!

BeiBei: Lemmee see lemme see... OMG OMG OMG so smooth... !! Oh u are so pretty.... !!!!

JinJin: No laaaaaaa!!!! Hehehehehehehehehe... U then.... lemme see ur skin... soooooo smootthhhhhhhh..... !!!!!! Wa.... u just did a manicure tooooooo!!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!!!

BeiBei: Yes Yes !! Eh u still got keep in touch with our that friend HuanHuan or not???

JinJin: Oh a bit.. I heard she getting married next year lei!!!!

BeiBei: Really OMG OMG OMG.. !!!! So happy!!!

JinJin: Then u lei.. when ur turn!!!

BeiBei: OMG OMG..!! My boyfriend just propose last week u know!!!

JinJin: Then u agree????

BeiBei: So Paiseh sia... don't wanna say >.<

JinJin (demonstrates a move perfected by girls: the alternating soft slaps on someone's shoulder blades. ) : So bad So bad!!!! Show me photo at least !!!

BeiBei (knocks her head): No la girl!!! Joking nia!!! See See our neoprint..!!!

JinJin (hugging her): Soooo handsome!!!!!!

BeiBei: Eh want to take photo together.... ????

JinJin: Yes Yes!!! Let's be cute too!!! Eh gimme ur number can????

BeiBei (Slaps JinJin's butt): Yes Yes..!!! HeeHee..

JinJin: Oieeee!!! Bad!!!

On the flip side, here is a typical scenario where a guy meets another guy, and the same context applies for the sake of fairness.

Boon: Eh excuse me.. u are Ah Keng rite.

Keng: U are....

Boon: Lim Kiap Boon.. u know last time we in the same gp who studied in uni.

Keng: Oh... long time no see..

Boon: So how u been?

Keng: Ok lor.
(Author's note: THIS WORD IS THE WORST CONVERSATION KILLER EVER.)

Boon: Oh.

Keng: U?

Boon: Like that lor. Now u work where?

Keng: Temasek Holdings. U?

Boon: Highflyer sia.. I in IBM. U do what?

Keng: Executive lor.

Boon: Same Same.

*Silence for 10 seconds

Boon: Wa.. now u more yandao ah..

Keng: .........

Boon: Uh Uh.. oh u been working out recently isit.. more muscle sia..

Keng: (Is he gay or something.. ) ..........

*Silence for another 10 seconds

Boon: Eh... wanna get a beer or not?

Keng: k.

*While drinking the beer, after 5 minutes of haphazard superficial questions and answers of "ok" and "like that lor"

Boon: So Keng.. u still got watch soccer or not?

Keng: No la.. now working so busy..

Boon: IC.

Keng: Yup.

Boon: U know our that friend Ah yong? He getting married next year lei.

Keng: Ah. Good lor.

Boon: Ya.

Boon: Eh ur girlfriend how already ah?

Keng: Like that lor. Why u ask?

Boon: Just ask la.. she how ah?

Keng: Eh... what how, a girl la. 2 eyes 1 mouth 1 nose 2 hand 2 leg.

Boon: Got photo not? =p

Keng: Why must let u see?

*Awkward silence for 10 seconds

Boon: Wanna get married soon isit? =p

Keng (accomodating fake smile): =

Boon: Actually I ask cos I want to propose soon la.

Keng: Congrats.

Boon: Thanks. U got any ideas? =p

Keng: No.

Boon: IC.

Keng: Eh I wanna go le.. gotta meet someone else?

Boon: Ok. Eh u want to exchange number?

Keng: For office things? IBM got work with Temasek?

Boon: Don't think so. As in to keep in touch la.

Keng: I think.. uh I changing number soon.. when I change then I let u know la.

Boon: (Si Mi Sai?) Ok. Eh u wanna take photo?

Keng: (WTF? What's wrong with him? Only girls take photos) Eh next time la...

Boon (slaps Keng's butt): K bye..

Keng ("WHAT THE FUCK" LOOK on his face): HUH????

Anyway, in conclusion, now u know why people like girls so much?? U know why I want a daughter??? U know why people prefer outings with girls in them????

COS GUYS ARE JUST PLAIN SUCKTATSICALLY BORING.

AND THEY ARE NOT IN THE LEAST FUN TO BE WITH.

Why and how this happens to 99.9% of all guys is anyone's guess.

To end of here's a nice clip which illustrates what I said.

Buys and No Buys- Nov Pt 1

2008-11-09T18:25:00.015+08:00

The return of Buys n No Buys.. =)

Buys: First of all, Barrack Obama won the election. I think there's nothing I can add that hasn't been said, so just want to congratulate him and PLEASE, solve the world's problems ASAP can? "If u smell.... what BARRACK... is cooking!!"

No Buys: To the fuckers in MDIS. Look I get it.. "international image of premier leading educational institution" is at stake here.. but u fuckers have to understand 1 thing. PEOPLE PAID PRIVATE RATES. I think that alone entitles them to wear whatever the fuck they want, as long as it isn't like super revealing ok.. Seriously don't u people have other things to worry about than what Tan Mei Lian from Econs course is wearing today?? And no dyed hair?? What is this, 1992?

No Buys: To my online contacts man.. 90% of the time I see the same old fucking people.. and I wonder why do I even bother. Yup, u got it.. people who I don't talk to... its like I can memorize the people on that damn list already that appear on 10pm everyday. Oh man.. where the hell are my friends??

No Buys: To unexpected contact "catching up" with me on msn. It was all good for a while, except that there was a minor problem and that is MY NAME IS NOT JOHNATHAN. I knew it.. I just fucking knew she didn't know who the fuck I was. And here's my feelings in Italian: Cazzeggiare, Affanculo.

Buys: To weird girl's singing.. She rocks! Now I jus wish she was online so I could tell her..

Buys: I see a little glimmer of light in u-know-what. But years of bachelorhood have made me numb already, that's 1.. and 2 is I just dont' want to think so much. I mean it is a gut feeling. but my gut feelings have never been correct EVER.. so.. maybe 1 week from now this will be no buys..

No Buys: To the Subaru shit man.. I saw some of it live, and honestly, WHY do people even do such shit?? Isit worth your life, and worth ending up in a stretcher or wheelchair just for a fucking car?? Are u even gonna use it if u win it?? Sup ERP?

No Buys: I've thought abt it.. and mus say I didn't give serious thought and I let perceptions get in my way (this sounds familiar) but I just can't recommend anyone to buy Jay's new album. None of the stuff is really bad.. but there really isn't anything u need to buy the album for. There is NO qian li zhi wai or ju hua tai or Qing hua ci or yang guang zai nan to save the album this time and altho some stuff is good, nothing is totally new or groundbreaking or special even, and we know the GOD of Mandopop is better than this.

Buys: Cheau Horng said the very smiling happy face icon on msn looks like me!!! haha!!

Buys: Attended a very good training this week, managing of groups, getting patients to self manage blah blah.. good cos u know, contrary to what the syllabus said, SW2103 DID NOT teach us about doing real group work. Sup Dr Vasoo? =)

Buys: To my undisclosed colleague who is goin to SDU woo!!! If only people are like her, don't stigmatize SDU, then RIGHT NOW IT WOULD NOT BE PRIVATISED AND EXPENSIVE. Anyway, good for her.. it shows I am not alone.. altho looking at our age gap, I think I am 6 years too young to go.. >.<

What I've found out from "Online Dating" Part 3

2008-11-06T08:29:00.007+08:00

Time to finish up the series. In 1 sentence: "Differentiate good and bad sites."

Not all sites are the same. And sadly, if u don't know anything, it is difficult to see if a site is up to your preference or not unless u really spend time and see for urself how good or bad it really is. So I shall bash a site which is the worst of all, in fact, it is a fucking scam. Hopefully it'll save ur time from not visiting this site:

http://www.sg.match.com/

Now let's get the positives out of the way first. What is right is that this has the site with most detailed profiles ever, letting you really form an opinion of that person u may be interested in. From interests down to quotes down to the last fun thing she did, u can really get some idea who this person is before u decide to contact.

However, what is fuck about this is, when we say contact, we mean wink. And when we say wink, we mean indicating interest to someone. And what happens when we indicate interest? Well the other party can know we are interested and what do they do back? They indicate interest too!! ^ ^ Yay!!!

FULL STOP. THERE IS NO WAY TO CONTACT ANYONE IF U DON'T PAY.

Now theoretically, the site has to make u pay for something. Its business common sense. But is it good business strategy to make u PAY like $45 a month, or $140 in 6 months or something, when u can do it FOR FREE other sites???

And it gets better. By paying to be a subscriber, u are able to send and receive mail. Sounds fair rite (if u ignore the fact that u can do this FOR FREE on other sites)??? Well it does, until u realise that ONLY SUBSCRIBERS CAN REPLY TO SUBCRIBERS!!!!

AND THEY DON'T TELL IT TO U !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And if u check stats from other sources, u realise probably less than 10% are subscribers... and the site in no way tells u who the fuck is and who the fuck isn't a subscriber!!!!!

To me at this stage it is already a very bad and screwy practice. If u didn't subscribe, u don't get to send mail, that's fair enough. But if someone mails u, and since it means they are a subscriber, it is only fair to them that they get to receive your reply. IF NOT, WHY IN THE FUCK ARE SUBSCRIBERS PAYING TO SEND MAIL TO PEOPLE WHEN THEY CANNOT EVEN RECEIVE A REPLY????? AND U DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO IS A SUBSCRIBER AND HENCE U ARE WASTING UR TIME!!!!!

And it gets even better. The site actually has "a way" around it. There is an upgraded GOLD subscription, that allows unlimited and unrestricted contact to anyone. Hence it solves the problem I just mentioned.

However, in this case, WHAT IS THE POINT OF A NORMAL SUBSCRIPTION????

I can tell u the answer is there is NO POINT. If u look at the subscription page, there are 4 options, but only ONE of them is for a GOLD subscription, and between a 6 month Gold and normal package, there is only a $28 difference!!! The other THREE of FOUR options are NORMAL membership, but NOWHERE do they tell it to u!!! And NOWHERE do they tell u clearly what is the difference between a Gold and Normal membership!!!

Can u see where I am getting to now.... ?

THEY ARE TRYING TO SCAM U INTO GETTING A REGULAR SUBSCRIPTION, BUT WHICH IS AS I MENTIONED, USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just to prove it further, if a subscriber emails a nonsubscriber, the nonsubscriber actually CANNOT even view the message. They are told they received an email from so and so, but to read it, THEY HAVE TO SUBSCRIBE!!!!!!!

DRUM ROLL!!!!!!!!!

EPIC SCAM!!!!!!!!!!!

Conclusion: Avoid this site at all costs!!!!

Awestruck

2008-11-04T23:55:00.006+08:00

I just heard a very nice voice in a very nice self written song. And to explain clearer, I shall start with the origins of a story.

It began more than 2 years ago.. where I realised a cute girl I had been noticing in class was actually a friend of a friend. Altho I never talk much to her during that meeting, and ultimately slowly "lost contact" (like I even knew her in the first place), I never forgot this person.

To me she had a different spark to her, a different kind of energy, and just plain out cute. Imagine like Phoebe from Friends; guitar strumming, tarot card reading, new age philosophy thinking- kind of person.. though not so extreme.. but enough to make u feel this person is different, and that how great would it be to have such a fun person as ur friend.

But like I say, as is the case in Uni life, and working life as well.. people will just lose contact if they don't care to keep in touch, especially since I didn't leave any impression on her, and of cos this was the case.

Well.. if u believe in 2nd chances in life, maybe for once it came true for me as I managed to obtain her msn by *certain* means and TWO FUCKING YEARS later, I contacted her again.

I must say, it had been a long and hard process, and at times it was very difficult to communicate, bcos we are very different in ways. And also, after all I am a stranger, so there is a lot of mistrust. ( refer to contents on the previous post >.< )

But somehow, I feel we are similar in a few ways; people who don't have a high esteem, who don't feel people can truly understand them, who appears strange to others.. etc, and maybe its thru my way of talking abnormal stuff to her, suan-ning her, joking about her, yet at the same time trying to be sincere at times, that I suddenly feel we do have a little tiny weeny bit of rapport now. At least I hope so.

And today, I finally coerced her into allowing me to obtain a sample of her singing. I will not release the contents to the world, bcos it is the wish of the composer, but I wish to say, U ARE AWESOME AS A SINGER.

Altho she denies it and is embarassed of it, and doesn't wan to talk about it, she is talented. Not just as a composer and amateur musician, but her voice too which sounds really sweet yet mature.

And hence, I am awestruck. She is truly not ordinary, and all the best to her !

KBG

What I've found out from "Online Dating" Part 2

2008-10-27T18:18:00.003+08:00

I'm back with part 2. Marketing yourself I wrote in part 1 bcos I assume that when people try this thing, they will just go straight into personalizing a profile, which cn be fun ( unless u do it like for 14 different sites ) hence at that stage, marketing would be most impt.

However, after sometime, something won't be right, and u will think "what the hell is happening? My profile is so nice already, why nobody views it? Why I sent 50 mails to diff people and NO ONE replied?" And therefore, part 2 is impt!! In fact, it should be part 1 even, the first thing u do b4 u actually step into this game. What is it?

It is called expecting as little as possible.

When I first started, I had absolutely NO REASON to think that this isn't the last resort, for me and others. I mean, if u can get people outside, in reality, then u wouldn't need to restort to this rite?? For some people, that is the case.. obviously u see 35 year old women or 45 year old men there.. of cos these are the desperate people. But u must remember NOT EVERYONE IS AS DESPERATE AS YOU.

It doesn't make sense, but it happens. Some people genuinely go to just NETWORK, some just go to join forums, or just to join FOR FUN. Yes, do u know some sites can make u spend maybe 45 minutes on MAKING A PROFILE, and ask u to answer fucking dumb personality test questions? And people actually are willing to spend the time to do all this, JUST FOR FUN.

And even if people are desperate enough, u should still not get ur hopes too high. Imagine someone responds to ur mail. "Alright!" U think to urself. But next thing u know.. the person doesn't even give a fuck abt wanting to know u!! Some people appear so sociable in their profile, but they actually could care more about the faeces on the road than u. Seriously.

Just between me and fellow loyal readers, here's a stupid experience. I actually tyko-ly found a person through facebk bcos I couldn't directly contact from the site ( Part 3 will address stupid sites). Lo and behold, the person actually responded to me. Now think of this, if u are a regular girl and out of nowhere, u get hit by a stunner as u receive a msg from a total stranger from facebk. And when u think of how he found u, there is a big chance u will think, "What a creep... " ( OF COS I AM NOT. I HAPPENED TO FIND THE PERSON) And yet, u still replied to the person and added him as a friend. Logic would say, u actually would give a chance to knw the person rite??? The answer, is WRONG. 1 of the most ill mannered people I have ever met. Totally answers like she doesn't care, IGNORES me when she feels like it, and doesn't even have basic courtesy to say things like "thank you" when I tried to help with her problem, or even when I said "have a good weekend". Even if u don't like someone, no interest, u also don't have to be rude right? And also since she had no interest from the first second of conversation, THEN WHY EVEN BOTHER TO REPLY ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?? Its mind battering, but there are people like this in the world.

Even if people find u first by their own free choice, u oso should expect nothing. Just think of it as they are curious. And that they couldn't find someone uglier than u. So that probably made u seem cute to them. Whatever. Even if they are so desperate, remember that u are after all, a stranger. They know nothing about u, even if u wrote ur whole life in ur profile, there is still a high level of mistrust, and to reduce it, u have to EARN trust.

When u play this game, u must indeed, treat it like a game. Don't expect love sparks to be flying through cyberspace. Don't expect a deep, emotional relationship to be formed online. Just treat it as it is, and that is superficial chatting, which if u are lucky, MAY be the platform to get to a real relationship. Bottom line is, expect failure. See it as, u are casting a net into a sea of fishes, but instead of a sea of fishes, its just a murky muddy swamp of crocodiles. And that u are likely to catch crocodile shit than actual fish at all.

What I personally feel is that, generally, a person is indeed better off going to find people in the real world. I'm sure u are asking now "Where??" Well u are not alone bcos like I say, many of us do not have a social life. People with no social life relying on one another will just create a black hole of nothing. So if u are serious about this, u can't rely on ur old friends. Not to say they are not important, but u have to go outside and take risks and find new friends. Again, the question is "WHERE???"

Well, that is the million dollar question. Think of it and let me know. =p

But really, what I am saying is, treat "online dating" as a complement to the ur real life socialising. Although the stereotype is "u are desperate to do this", don't see urself as having no
choice but to do this. U do have a choice. Worse come to worse, just pick up people on the street. ( a gd friend of mine can tell u it is very do-able. Sup Mr M? =p )

But if this is ur only choice left, or u are lazy to try other ways, then u have to expect to fail.

Yeah!

What I've found out from "Online Dating" Part 1

2008-10-21T08:34:00.017+08:00

First and foremost, I'll give u a few minutes to laugh and jeer and think I am a loser, I'm desperate, I have no life, I am unwanted, and I can't even get people outside that I have to use a computer screen. Laugh all u want, bcos u may be right, but I am well justified in doing this. The thing is I see myself having a need, and no offence, but there is almost 0% that I can get it done with using the current social circle I have, whom have ALL SOLD THEIR LIVES TO THEIR JOBS AND THEIR FYPS. I also do not want to just go to any random club and pick people up, so other than joining actual activities which I also am trying, I am left with this. With this being said, I can now say that it isn't as rosy as it seems. Here's 1 important lesson what I found, especially from the mistakes I made.

Market Yourself.

When u want to attract people in reality, this is what u do. Sometimes it can't be helped cos SG guys are fucking ugly but no choice. U have to create a good impression. Same with online. Let me say it is fucking easier to attract people, but still it isn't THAT easy.

When we go to sites, in profiles and stuff we tend to state WHAT WE WANT in the people we are looking for, but the impt thing is NOT what u want, but WHAT THE OPPOSITE SEX WANTS. U have to write the qualities that women are looking for. Honestly speaking, Men are fucking superficial and looks is what we look for, but for women to be attracted to men, u need more than that. If I am not wrong, humorous, witty, mature, knowledgeable, independent etc are what u need to write. Also ur job and pay is important. Saying u are in social service may make u THINK women are attracted by the fact u have a kind heart = u are a nice guy, but truth is, $$$$$ talks in this world. Status talks in this world. Glamour talks in this world. And for any guy that have been rejected before will tell u, NICE GUYS FINISH LAST. It don't mean jack shit if u are nice.. women aren't attracted!! Even in the financial crisis, hands down pants down, a banker will still be more attractive than a teacher or a physiotherapist or a social worker.

Anything interesting u can find to make u stand out, just write it man. Would a woman be more interested in Guy A: Does drawing, plays saxophone, part time model, has his own band, can speak 13 languages, skilled in orchid planting, can cook Vietnamese food, researches on aromatherapy, charmed snakes, swam in the baltic sea, wrestled bears in alaska, bungee jumped 40 times before, disciple of David Blaine, can do 26 somersaults in a row.. versus Guy B: Watches tv, jogs in Bishan park, surfs net, listens to 98.7, plays PS3 at home, obssessed with I-phone, reads comics.. zzzzzz. U get the idea rite.

But more than that. The way u write is impt too. Such is the magic of language, where just a word more or less can make a totally big difference in the way u are perceived. Other than just writing facts about urself, u can try to portray urself as cute, funny, knowledgeable, dependable, happening etc, and it can be done with the style u want to write.

But WHAT U DON'T WRITE is crucial too. U know when Mom taught us that honesty is a value?? Well, it don't work here. For women, some honesty about character may be attractive to guys; like admitting they have a short temper, or they are flirty, or that they are argumentative, or they are quirky and need ur attention.. but for guys.. I don't think it is good to be honest that u have a active sex life, or u like cross dressing or something. Just stick with what works. DO NOT also indulge physical flaws u have, Men or Women. Moles, Tatoos, Scars, Aids, Tumours whatever.. Even if u are a little short or overweight or balding.. DO NOT FUCKING WRITE IT.

Yes the sites trick u into doing so by putting options other than "attractive" or "slim" or "nice hair" but just stick to them.

And most importantly, YOUR PHOTO(s) !!!!!! Actually this is by far the most important thing!!!! For women, they look attractive in general, so putting a pretty photo is important given the competition. For men, since SG men are ugly anyway, a handsome photo will work wonders bcos u get to stand out!!! And the thing is, we all know how important mini changes can make to photos. Which is why photoshop is really useful. Even without it, just a change in hairstyle here, body posture, change the pose, change the lighting on skin a bit, change the position in the photo, choose between smiling or not smiling.. it all will make a huge difference!!!

And this is because PEOPLE ARE SUPERFICIAL. We put looks above anything else as our priority, ESPECIALLY when u are assessing if u want to get to know a stranger better. People say looks don't matter, but that's Bull. What I mean is u don't have to make ur photo super handsome, but if u are fucking ugly in the photo, I can tell u now NOBODY will respond. The photo is the first thing people will look at and even if u are Guy A like I mentioned, but your face is like it has been smashed by a lorry, u can kiss ur chances goodbye.

Believing otherwise is just deluding urself; hence please put out your best possible image.. bcos u only have this profile to attract people, so if u don't do it well, no one will care!

Okie. Stay tune for part 2.

Buys and No Buys- Mid Oct

2008-10-17T11:38:00.006+08:00

Buys: Finally got my Yakuza 2 to play thanks to borrowing a newer Ps2. Still won't forgive Sega for wasting my time but it is an awesome game man!!! GTA-style brawler set in beautifully designed night life of Tokyo and Osaka, complete with mystery, suspense, love, hate, betrayal in the story of a Yakuza trying to prevent an all out gang war between 2 families and awesome-ness in combat!!! No Hadokens, sonic booms, or weird summoning of monsters or the elements of nature.. just pure in your face street fighting. Nothing is more satisfying than beating a guy up and ramming his head into a wall followed by knee-ing him in the back of the head, or stomping on his face after smashing his skull with a neon lighted signboard!!! Or just throwing his ass into the river!! WOO!!!

No buys: A contact online declined to meet up. I think she's a nice person and since she helped me a lot, I think that she's worth being real friends with. However, despite the fact we been in touch for few months, I've helped her- she helped me, talked quite some stuff (including MEP: Which I have totally gotten over ^ ^ ) and was intro-ed by a friend of hers WHO HAS KNOWN ME FOR ELEVEN YEARS, and of cos is an excellent judge of my character. That's rite.. ELEVEN. Also known as Shi Yi, Ship Yt, Sup Yat, Zak Yik, Sebelas, Labing-isa, Yeol ha-na, ichi-Ju-ichi, araw neg, das kat, to-ra o-ma, sip neung.. and I could go on man in different languages!! (forgive me if I got some of them wrong, especially the himalayan and mongolian ones =p) Well given these factors which show I am not some pervert but I am still not trusted... then I also dunno what to say la. -_-

No buys: Feeling a bit Gek Sim about something.. and as of friday, it became 2 things...just wan to say, its a pity. And its really a challenge to use N-Buddhism to accept them and to motivate myself to improve on the situations and on my own emo state.

Buys: Quite a few patients this week really make me feel respect and admiration for them. In the most superficial and materialistic society in the world, there are actually people out there who already can see thru life and death, people who have gone thru a lot a lot of hardships and pain, but yet they have such a strong will to make the most of their lives and sacrifice for their families. Woo!

No Buys: The UN World Food Programme is not looking good. Given the daily deteriorating economic condition.. among average people, WHO THE HELL would still think of the poor and impoverished??

No Buys: To the Sinda server man!! What kind of VWO's mailbox will be FULL one??

Buys: SBS n SMRT HAVE BEEN FINED $10000 man for basically their services.. !!! That is of cos a good thing cos frankly, THEY SUCK. Of cos if I were govt, I would fine them more bcos $10000 is like what, their 1 hour's extra profit a day since the last fare hike?? Its like fining me 1 cent for jaywalking! Kind of makes me wonder if it just cooooooould be a token kind of fining.. (sacarsm) But still a fine is a fine.. and the best is they got shamed on fucking newspapers!!!

Buys: 9pm show got my old molesting partner from high school Jackson Tan!! Normal jealousy aside, it is awesome that he can follow his dreams and land a job he is (hopefully) passionate in. I would say this guy has some of the tools man, cute looks, young age, and to ladies he is a hot piece of ass man. Its up to himself if he can back up his potential with acting skills, and also if he can get good roles to shine! Bcos playing the blur goofy sidekick in love with the female lead is NOT CUTTING IT, especially if the male lead is Tay Ping Hui.

No Buys: When a old friend messaged me from Austria to help him send a message to another old friend to help him with something very important.. kind of like medical legal stuff.. at that moment I realised I am still affected by the fact they are the most best of friends. It is definitely another mortal concern I have that I should let go with N-Buddhism, but the fact is we three were the only good friends from sec sch who went to that same JC, but why only 2 of them have gone so far together and are still so close despite it being so many years and we all have had different paths? I think it still eats me up unconsciously, and now that I think of it, I just don't know why I sort of have been "left behind". I'm very happy that they are close and all, but still, it feels sad that u didn't ask me to help in the first place, and after that when u did, it was to ask me to ask someone else just bcos u couldn't find him in msn.

No Buys: And to continue, friend #2 has now replied the answer to the problem to me, so I can tell friend #1. Thus, I guess the reaction of "Since u 2 are best of best of homies, why can't u fucking tell him yourself?? " is understandable rite. I mean its like since u 2 didnt care to bother to involve me at the beginning, why even ask me to help now, especially to be in the TOTALLY NON NECESSARY role of relaying messages when u can just fucking send him via msn?? Am I THAT FREE to u ? I mean, I am over reacting, and it wasn't a good time to be upset that day, resulting in more over reaction, but still I hope they understand that I was upset bcos they mean something to me.

Buys: Its Darelle's birthday this week !! So happy for her!! She's such a nice auntie who takes care of us ^o^.. even COOKS for us in office!!! Wooo!!!

Buys: Bank deposits are guaranteed by MAS!! On 1 hand its a good thing, altho u can tell and they admitted it wasn't what they wanted to do if HK, AUS, NZ hadn't done it.. but whatever!! Alto this means that even Singapore can't be safe from the global meltdown, and it is not optimistic at all, bcos THE SHIT HAS REALLY HIT THE FENCE THIS TIME, it is however a measure to gain public confidence and thats what matters now. Altho I wish that it wasn't only for a measly TWO years.

Buys: I finally found a new way to get to my salsa class!!! And despite the difficulties like meandering through the hordes of tourists and idiots who have nothing better to do than be in Bugis market, sprinting through city link mall, enduring some Indian man's bushy hair rubbing my neck in the "very spacious mrt" as well as 1 ah pek suddenly touching my shoulder in the same said trip, and having a baby lizard drop on my head, I WAS ONLY LATE BY 5 MINUTES!!! NEXT WEEK, I SWEAR I WILL BE THE EARLIEST!!!!!! *0*

Okie.. bye!

南無妙法蓮華經

2008-10-14T11:13:00.002+08:00

I have decided that the way back will be thru 南無妙法蓮華經. It is pronounced Nam Myōhō Renge Kyō in Sanskrit if I am not wrong, and means 'Devotion to the Law of the Lotus flower scripture. ' Yes I have decided to start on N-Buddhism (lazy to spell >.<)

Went to a session on sunday and can say have absorbed quite some stuff. The speaker, someone who had fought cancer thru her faith in N-Buddhism quite inspired me thru her beliefs and her passion to make the most of her life and for others.

What's N-Buddhism? Its a little like Person centered approach we learned in counselling. There isn't a really right way to solve such problems with self actualization. And N-Buddhism believes that the Buddha is within all of us, and we can all gain enlightment in our lifetime. The potential is inside of us, and instead of waiting for the answers, we should just work towards our goals, face our fears, meet our challenges, have positive thinking, and yet to be able to accept the results of what happens as part of our life. Don't be resentful, don't blame others; attribute the responsibility of your own life to yourself, and then make peace with the result, knowing u did ur best.

When u truly do this, then at the end of the day, u will have untapped ur potential, and developed yourself. Your mindsets, behaviors, way of communication, it will all give out positive-ness and then u not only change urself, but u affect the environment around u, and the path will be clear, and u will finally see what u are looking for in life.

^ ^ Jason

Way back into love

2008-10-08T18:01:00.005+08:00

Finally writing something that's not Buys and no Buys, and also something emo. And of all places its in the office sia.. slacking as I'm packing up. Anyway as u no doubt have realised, my theme song now is 'way back into love'. Its significant bcos its something I really feel resonates with what I want now.

I listen to this song everyday since a while ago bcos I hope it gives me the feeling again of wanting to feel emotion at relationships. I listen bcos I hope it can point me to a way to bring love back into me.

The reason being, and I'm not gonna lie, is that the 20 month thing had taken a lot out of me. Maybe u can laugh at me for being affected when nothing even happened between me n the girl, but I can tell u, in my context it meant a lot to me.

When I first felt that way, I can tell u that it was something new. I had really never felt that way about someone, and I genuinely believed that I could make this person happy, by bringing a bit of joy and by being a good friend. I believed that bcos of this person, I could become a better human being, and become someone who can care for others w/o wanting much in return.

I won't be dishonest. The fact to me is that 20 months of my reforming went all the way to hell, and after doing my best to be there, to care for someone but in the end, it was not reciprocrated, not appreciated and maybe just ignored. In fact, I can say she even felt negatively abt me at times.

I know some pple will think, "u were TOO IMPATIENT", "u scare her away", "u do this and u do that and blah blah", and I don't deny it. I just dont have the skill to do such things well I guess. But still, I know that I was really being sincere, and really wanting to care.

So I can tell u the feeling is now 1 of utter disillusionment. After trying so hard, but at the end, people still can't appreciate a bit of me, then what's the point of trying?

I may sound selfish but let me explain. I haven't reached the stage of unconditional caring for someone (that will have to wait for my daughter Meijia ^^) , but at least I wanted to be able to WANT TO CARE for people, even if its just to make myself feel good, and to feel appreciated as a friend, or as a person. Deep down that's what everyone wants right? And I've really really lost my motivation after all that happened. I'll just think now, 'why shld i care about this person or that person? What's the whole point of doing so many things for people? I'm just doing extra unneeded stuff which they don't care about. And WHO ARE THEY to make me want to care and put in effort?'

That's probably why I want to find fufilling relationships. Bcos I don't want to just spend time with people but it doesn't do anything for my soul, my whole being. I really want to feel the love for people again, so that I can care for others and care for myself, bcos emotionally I am now just an empty void.

Maybe it would take a special person? Dunno.

Jason

Buys and No Buys- Early Oct

2008-10-03T11:41:00.013+08:00

Buys: Our nation had made history (and our leaders will waste no effort to remind us this is not the first time we made history this year) by doing the F1.. and blah blah blah.. u know the rest of the story. Well now that the smoke is clearing and the vroom sounds disappeared from our ears long ago, let me say that it was an awesome thing we did it. Personally I didn't care much, but if they can dupe, oh i mean, persuade so many tourists and locals to go, then it was a success.

No Buys: Good for Singapore, but my question is, where can we go from here?? 780,000 watched on TV and 50000 live, but the reality is most of them "wanted to see the first time ever night race", and the word on the street is, if u are just a casual viewer, ITS FUCKING BORING AFTER THE Nth MINUTE. So problem 1 will be to increase or maintain the local interest, which I think is not easy at all. Problem 2 will be the interest of foreigners. Granted the people who fly all the way here are more hardcore fans, but would these same people come again next year if its the same old drivers, same old cars and same old night race? And how many of them visited other areas of Singapore? If it were Beijing, I would gladly go back to climb the great wall everytime, but say, would a Brit want to see the Singapore Flyer again when the London Eye is in UK? Would ang mohs want to see supreme court when every building in Europe looks like it? Or Chinatown where almost every major western city has a Chinatown?

Buys: My Tongue ulcer FINALLY HEALED. OH THANK GOD. No more feeling like a rapier is ripping through my mouth everytime I open it.

No Buys: There seems to be this office female who doesn't like me, and for starters, has never ever even said hi or smiled to me before. For the life of me I can't think of what I ever did to her, and even if there was a thing here and there, does she have to show me chao bin everytime? Lesson is never make a woman angry! @_@

No Buys: Did not have a good session with a patient. Man I sucked so bad in my counselling of him that I may have made matters worst. Fuck. Luckily its not a session that needs to be officially documented and my supervisor doesn't know. But still.. I should have done better :(

Buys: Online speed dating is something I'm trying recently, and I'm trying to utilise it w/o stigmatizing myself that I am so loserific.. So far its ok la.. contacted a few people, will see how it goes.

No Buys: On my profile on the sites, I put stuff like I just wan to knw sincere people. And the truth is, I do. Let me recount a recent incident. After an outing ended, I sent a msg asking a friend to cheer up bcos she seemed quite bad. It would be fine if I didnt get any reply, but instead after hours later, I got typical SG Guys and Girls behavior I hate #12: RECEIVING GENERIC TEMPLATED SMS THAT THEY SENT TO EVERYONE AFTER MEETINGS. Look, if I didn't send anything I won't complain.. but since I was sincere enough to care.. then I get ignored, and also served with superficial stuff then obviously I won't like it right? I think I am not being unreasonable. Jason DOES NOT APPROVE ~~~ !!

No Buys: There's this little game the HR like to play called phone audit. They call and test if u can answer in a professional way. And u know what? I failed. I actually thought to myself whether to answer professionally or not but I didn't because I had a gut feeling that it was a patient!!! ( Whom ironically, will not give a fuck if u answer professionally or not. They just want the help :D) Oh fuck man.... Talk about SUAY-NESS!!

No Buys: Realising u are right all along isn't very thrilling cos the thing I am right about is I meant jack shit. But anyway, still not caring..

No Buys: Did that particular someone I see everyday get a boob job? Not everyone is suitable for big boobs >_<

Buys: Pops to my friend for doing the right thing and admitting mistake. I DID NOT APPROVE ~ of what he did, but by apologizing first, it also made me want to give in and let go of the matter, and hence we avoided a conflict. I highlight this cos many a time, we just want our ego and refuse to compromise, and the other party will do the same and then it becomes a cycle and conflict explodes ! So I respect him for this. Many buys!

Buys: Chai Hong came to play table tennis with us! Yeah!

No Buys: Fuck my Yakuza 2 cannot play.. ccb.. basically from my zero knowledge of computing stuff, the Japanese version was 2 discs, but the English version wanted to compile 7 GB plus into 1 DVD and therefore the format was converted to something called DVD9, WHICH CAN'T BE RUN ON CERTAIN MACHINES!!!! FUCK!!!! Shit man.. now I'm trying to source the net for solutions.. OH MAN... I waited 2 years for THIS???

No Buys: PAC meeting today. I had to postpone my visit to patient but well its cool. What I do feel is that a social worker would be better suited to be on such a committee rather than doctors and nurses. Sometimes I don't feel I learned much from my SW course but when I see pple in the meeting denying needy people of financial aid just because of the ultra cock MOH rules, I feel my SW experience did come in useful as I feel the need to advocate for them! Of cos I don't even get to talk in the meeting.. but really what is up with the PTE HOUSING RULE MAN???

Buys: Another new girl in office! Another new friend! ^ ^

Buys and No Buys- End Sep

2008-09-27T23:01:00.005+08:00

Buys: Table tennis with JZ n Leh and for the FIRST TIME EVER IN 10 YEARS, I actually feel I can beat JZ consistently 1 on 1, because I fucking did it!!!! For people that think psychology isn't important in sports, or anything u do for that matter, BELIEVE IT.

No Buys: Deleted Bunny girl from my msn. Yes THAT Bunny girl. Just don't feel we need to be in contact already. She obviously never cared about me, and I also stopped caring months ago. So no point pretending I am her friend man. Guess that's what happens when people don't make effort for each other. Hmmm when have I said this before? :P But really I feel I am out of the life stage of "hey look I have so many friends cos my contact list reads 300 people!" Superficial relations are just not what I need in life now.

No Buys: WHERE HAVE ALL THE PIRATED GAME SHOPS WENT?? I so want to buy Tna impact, Force Unleashed, Lego Batman, and the soon to be out Yakuza 2 and SVR 2009. Fuck the people who caused these shops to close.

Buys: I've finally talked through it with her, and we're back to friends, FOR AS LONG AS there is mutual effort that is. Not unique to her, same goes to other people I know. Anyway, its fucked up that after 20 months, it is a merry go round in the end as I am officially back to where we started all along as very normal friends. Yup so normal that I am 99.999999999999% sure that nothing will happen ever. To be honest I have a feeling 1 day shit will happen and I will just snap and say "fuck this relationship and fuck it", but as I say, right now we are friends again, and right now we are cool and therefore like I say, we should value what we have in life, rather than bitch about what we don't have. So I'm cool with things.

No Buys: I do wish that some girls don't exhibit "typical SG girl behavior which I hate #42": AVOIDING TO INTRO HER GIRL FRIENDS TO GUYS. Seriously man, and I am gonna get hated for saying this, but not all guys are evil and just want physical satisfaction. I think they have to realise it when we sincerely want to make friends with others.. because we are like, no life now cos of work u knw.

Buys: Another outing with army buds. Good times again and we are all 1 happy bunch, minus Cheah of cos. Quote of the day from Jyip: " I already have planned my wedding, done all the research, know what to do already. I just need 1 more element. THE GIRL." Oh man I love u Bro.

No Buys: I didn't call Cheah; selfish of me but I do think the whole thing would be different with him.. i.e hearing him curse kids who he teaches in violin school, bitch about the army, and boast about how he is going to get another windfall which he won't may be funny; but u do get bored of hearing them for a while u know... thats why.

Buys: I finally got "eat drink pray: 1 woman's search for everything." Haha.. homie M.O and me got into this book in Europe, and it is finally MINE, ALL MINE!!! But excitement aside, I do think its a good book to at least learn about women. And before the alpha males start exhibiting "typical SG Guy behavior I hate #36": CALLING GUYS WHO HAVE INTEREST IN WOMEN'S STUFF GAY , think about this. We guys always say we don't understand women. And we bitch and moan but we do jack shit to solve this problem. So I am offering a solution right now. If u wan to understand women, read books written by women for other women and preferably, which talks about what they think of men. Cos women won't ever tell truth to men cos we are men. Yup. Do it and u will thank me later.

No Buys: To a friend,I have no right to interfere, but DID U HAVE TO WORK TILL 11 PLUS THAT DAY???? BEING A SOCIAL WORKER DOESN'T MEAN MUST WORK TILL LIKE THIS! WHO CAN REPAY U FOR THOSE 5 HOURS OF YOUR LIFE WHICH U CAN'T GET BACK???? WHY? I really hope u love ur job, bcos hoesntly u don't have much of a life.

Buys: Pizza and KFC in office on Tuesday! Yay Mrs Pala!

Buys: Discovered a super chio woman in my company! And she is like what from IT or something? Really? So chio go and work in IT??? What???

No Buys: No salsa this week! So sian.. I wan to continue to get to know those meimeis! >_<

No Buys: A big FUCK YOU VERY MUCH to the 2 most important countries in the world. UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, and PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA. Like just as we are stressed about the stupid financial crisis, and we just wanna kick back and enjoy some M & Ms, or eat a magnum ice cream, and we fucking can't even do it because they probably came from China!!! Seriously, on behalf of everyone I just wanna say to these 2 countries: GO STRAIGHT TO HELL, AND BRING YOUR CREDIT DEBTS AND RABBIT SWEETS TAINTED WITH MELAMINE WITH YOU. Thanks and have a nice day. You're welcome.

Buys: Went to watch Mamamia with 2 cute girls!! Woo!! Nice time catching up. :D

KBG

3 quotes (aka I have no inspiration to write so just post something to take up space)

2008-09-23T15:10:00.003+08:00

I discovered these 3 quotes on my colleague's desk. There aren't very new, u would have seen them somewhere before I hope, but DAMMIT they are such a great summary of what I was going thru, OF WHICH I HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN OVER. So enjoy and reflect on them bcos they are sooooo true :)

1. When you keep saying you're busy then you are never free. When you keep saying you have no time, then you will never have time. When you keep saying you will do tomorrow, then your tomorrow will never come.

2. We make them cry who care for us. We cry for those who never care about us. And we care for those who will never cry for us. This is the truth of life, is strange but true. Once you realise this, it's never too late to change.

3. Don´t let someone becomes a priority in your life, when you're just an option in their life... Relationships work best when they are balanced.

KBG

Thanks

2008-09-14T20:46:00.003+08:00

Thanks to all the great friends and people who made effort for me for birthday week! Yup its like I have not had gone out for so many birthday outings for YEARS. Thanks to my colleagues, who I only known for 1 month plus, but already made a big effort to buy me stuff and celebrate ( I could do w/o those "activities" though >.<). Great sense of belonging I felt.. the card too , and also for another celebration on KTV sat.. u guys are awesome, and there is no price for awesomeness!

Also thanks to my army friends, great night at KTV just singing everything we can.. all going crazy and letting loose.. it was great..! 5 years on, and we still gather and I really appreciate u guys. U all are many buys man! Thanks to SM n ZC for organising, and JY for being THE MAN on that nite.

Can I forget the 2 beautiful girls who met me in town? Sorry that we couldn't spend more time, but quality over quantity man!! Woo!!!

And thanks to my sec sch friends too.. glad that could see some of them again.. and as always we just talk about we have all been.. and I really value them man.. best friends ever..!

Yup and also the people who didn't forget me and sms-ed or facebooked me ! Thanks!

At the end of the day, A LOT of people forgot my birthday.. a few are pple I known for 12 years, some for 7 years, some for 3 years.. but at the end of the day I oso don't mind.. bcos we spend far too much of our time complaining about what we do not have rather than what we do have.. so I shall just value the times I spent with people who made the effort ( and value the $$$ savings :P ), bcos life is too short, and we should be happy all we can.

Jason

A short note

2008-09-14T19:58:00.003+08:00

Apparently my last post turned some heads, but I said nothing but the truth, and I won't change my views for nobody; because that is the kind of person I am. If u know me u would understand, and if u don't know me well enough, then I oso don't need to care about what u think.

That being said, I know I went too far in this post, just like I went too far in berating Kaiting. I can easily erase it, just like that, but I choose not to because in life, u don't get to erase the past mistakes u made. But u can improve on the future by keeping the mistakes in your memory. And that is what I am doing now. So if u read the last post and it offended u Kaiting, I'm saying sorry for THE WAY I WROTE IT.
(BUT NOT THE MESSAGE I WANT TO SAY)

^ ^

The Biggest Edition of No Buys Ever

2008-09-07T11:27:00.009+08:00

Kaiting finally ended what should have been ended months ago. Actually 2 weeks ago, the truth is I already gave up waiting. Today she finally had the courage to tell me.. via SMS.. well..

Let me say that I wasn't in the mood and it may have clouded my judgement, but I already made up my mind not to give in and be nice and be pacified again and then it turns into "haha.. lol..haha" kind of conversation again. I just stuck to my points, and she didn't get what I was trying to say, but I said what I wanted and that's that.

Some things I didn't explain then that I will say now, bcos she wouldn't have accepted or understood, are like this. There is no point in staying friends, when there is really no value to the friendship. Its like a ball, nice on outside but nothing but air inside. What's her point in at first wanting to be friends I don't understand. Its like after giving the standard template "girl rejection explanation", it immediately follows with, "let's stay friends". And to this, and everyone else I say, to me friends aren't just photos on your facebook or names in your phonebook. They aren't just pple u IM out of boredom or people u entertain from time to time. I know this is the type of "friend" I would be to her, so what then, is the fucking point??? What's the point in suggesting to be friends, when u really do not care about the person?

As to it being like I'm blaming her and that this is all her responsibility.. I still stand by my point, that I have done EVERYTHING that I could in 20 months. That is why I kept telling her its her choice, its up to her where we go from here. After all I did, WHAT ELSE CAN U EXPECT FROM ME?? And also, she had to realise that this had always been a 1 way relationship, and she had always been taking me for granted. She thinks that just entertaining and the occasional going out means she is putting in effort, but which ever 1 way relationship in ANYONE'S life has turned out good??? Thats what I felt, that if she felt she want to continue, that it is now HER TURN to do something.

She said some kind of apology, but like I told her, did she even know what she is apologizing for, or is it like I feel, just a form of offering peace? I didn't bother to tell her, but the truth is, she made a huge mistake in the way she handled this, and I cannot forgive it.

What is the mistake? I believe that like it or not, I TOTALLY WAS HER BEST GUY FRIEND (best being relative), but after confessing, I was totally not treated in the right way. I'm not bitching about being rejected, but the way it happened. What I mean is that for a girl to reject someone, there are correct ways to do it, and there are wrong ways to do it. IT IS TOTALLY POSSIBLE TO REJECT ME AND WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS, OR EVEN GOOD FRIENDS. But the thing is, I do not think I was treated as such.

For all I ever did for her and cared for her, I did not deserve to be rejected in indirect, subtle ways, bcos I was hurt all the time. After waiting for almost 3 months, I do not deserve to be rejected when I ask her out for my BIRTHDAY WEEK, especially when she did not even bother to consider at all (So this is definition of "friends" to her?). I do not deserve to hear excuses like "I have NO TIME", and then finding out she is willing to go out with other people. I do not deserve to just be rejected on that day like that with no fucking explanation. I do not also deserve an SMS REJECTION. All this to me shows I'm not valued and I'm not important, and I'm not respected.

And I also do not want to see stuff on my phone like "at the moment", hinting that something could still happen in the future. NOTHING is going to happen in the future, if attitudes do not change. And again, this has been a 1 way thing, and I have put in time and effort, which is why the relationship could be on life support for so long. The moment I stopped anything, she also did not contact me, except to ask me some work stuff, which again proves I am nothing more than a social work contact to her. If I didn't contact her for say 1 year, I think we would have totally lost contact already; but I think she would believe that we could still pick up where we left off even after such a long time, and I do not think its that easy.

After all this, I do not care what anyone reading thinks. Maybe u think I am a jerk, or over-exagerrating, or being picky; but I stand by my point that I have tried my best to be a good friend to her, to really care for her and be there for her. I tried to value wat little time we spent together, and for all this, my conscience is clear.

Do I hate her? No I just am fucking pissed in the way she chose to deal with all this, bcos it is really the typical Singaporean Girl behavior when it comes to guys they do not like, and I really felt she was BETTER THAN THAT; bcos she was after all a special person.

To be honest she is as good a girl as someone can ever find,she has many good qualities, and I am sorry that things turned out this way. It started on a wrong note, I know I tried too hard, the friends around us made it difficult to be direct, and her passion for her work made her have difficulty to reciprocate. Some of this is my fault; but I really hoped that by being sincere, and being caring to her that she would give me a chance, to at least see whether things could go a bit further. But I never got the chance, and it is the biggest regret in this whole thing.

And with this, I end it. My life now will totally be for myself, family, friends, work and I will do my best to find new direction and to live life the best I can. MANY BUYS!

Bi- Weekly update

2008-09-06T00:04:00.001+08:00

This edition of buys and no buys took a while, bcos 1) not much to say, so combine 2 weeks, 2) I want people to see my previous post ya, bcos i know u people who come once in a while only read the latest post, so if delay a little longer, more people can read about about trimming the fat~ ! Anyway, for this post, u guys know the drill by now, so let's go. =D

Buys: I have devised a new system of friends. Its simple and user friendly. There is only 3 levels basically, a) friends u care about, b) friends u don't care about, and c) everyone else who no one cares about. Of cos within this there are still some forms of hierarchy, bcos i do not believe friends are all equal, but the system kind of sums it up, and I don't want to think so much first. So basically a) would be people I will take initiative to approach and put in effort, and b) would be people I would still put in effort, but I won't take initiative one.

Buys: finally used the gym in my office woo! Body pain the next day aside, it will be a regular occurance to rehabilitate myself! I also finally started jogging again, and played table tennis this week! Yay!

No Buys: Earlier in the previous week, some fuck company decided to call me and declare me a winner and give me a present. It was too good to be true obviously and I must say, fuck all this companies for wasting our time. I can't believe I spent 8 minutes talking to that fucker on the phone. Should have just hung up. Its stuff like this that makes u hate being alive man. >_<>

Buys: However, my second Salsa lesson was good~ alto I know nothing about how to dance, it was good exercise and also good times knowing others!

Buys: New girl in my office!! I am no longer the newest!! And also, she is very nice XD. I will try my best to know her better woo!! Alto she is older n ABA, but she's a good friend :)

No Buys: The table tennis saga continues, and must say, fuck this shit man. Why did it even happen?

No Buys: And also, another reason to hate this saga is because I feel the problem is being framed wrongly. People complain about it affecting our festive celebration at winning a silver medal, but that is NOT supposed to be the main issue! Does anyone remember why this happened in the first place? Why are we ignoring the main problem and that is GAO NING'S ISSUE??? He is the real victim but no one cares about him. Imagine if this saga never happened; we would all be happy and congradulating the girls (aunties) team, and no one would care about Gao Ning! And now that the matter has come into the spotlight, he still did not get the compensation he deserved!! Sucks to be him.

Buys: Do u believe that people can "look" like certain people? Like my sister "looking" like Dawn Yeoh, and now the China girl in my office Lydia "looking" like Meijia.. oh man. It is cute though. But of cos the best is to look like yourself. Like the ad in GV with the soccer stars say.. "don't be the next Kaka, or the next Messi, cos u cannot be.. u can only be yourself."

Buys: Still loving my dept.. so nice that I act cute there, but what can u do when u are the youngest there and 10/13 of people are women? All MBA (married but available) and ABA (attached but available), so no point trying to be too manly cos u also cannot win their husbands what. But honestly, it is the best environment I will ever know, and I am really grateful they are being nice to me, and patient with me cos I am so new, and encouraging as well. =D And they really love to play. Woo!

Buys: Jason is great at selling Koh Yoh to the kidney patients in NKF !!!

No Buys: The future really seems bleak for love. Let me tell u, find your partner fucking before u leave school. Seriously. Hai. Where in the fuck are u supposed to find someone, ANYONE when half your day is in the office??? But Jason, we can find them in the workplace! Oh ok, so assuming u can't, then how???? Like me, then how? Go SDU lor.. go matchmaking lor, but do u dare? Anyway, my views are not just theory ok.. i mean today talking to colleagues who are ABA and getting ROM soon and the result of survey is they are with their partner for like 7-10 years that kind.. and where were they 7-10 years ago? IN SCHOOL!!! Honestly the chances of meeting and developing with people is higher AND the committment will be there, to work together to build the relationship even when u transit to work life. Say u finally meet a girl of ur dreams, but bcos she already working when u knew her.. her goal is to use her life to work and no relationship. So if u like her dearly? U WILL HAVE THE WORST LIFE EVER AND GOD ALSO CAN'T HELP U. That's all I wanna say.

Buys: Going to get the guys out and meet for Kaiwei's departure to Austria for SEP. Hope he has a blast there ! Also met up with them and I really enjoy my marist friends. The best friends of my life. Really.

Trimming the fat

2008-09-02T14:59:00.000+08:00

No, not my own fat.. (insert Jason is fat joke here. HAHA. So funny.)

Fat from my list of people I know. Basically u dont have prizes for guessing what event caused me to decide to trim the fat in my list of contacts or rather "friends" as modern cosmopolian pple like to say. The point is, I just went to facebook and cut ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY PEOPLE out of my life forever.

Honestly, u know why I suddenly did this? Its because I always thought that its about the image; the more people u know in facebook, the cooler u seem. Although I knew less than half of them personally, it seemed to boost my ego. But at the end of the day, having 242 "friends" didn't make me a happier person. It didn't fill the emptyness in my heart. So what if I have so many people in my list? Again, at the end of the day (no pun intended), if even people who are really ur friends upset you, then what more can u expect from people who are really strangers actually? Why bother to keep up all these superficial kind of things in my life? why not just concentrate on the people that I know meant something to me (or still have potential usefulness)?

Not just in facebook, but in real life as well. I am really trimming the fat. I am starting to know who is worth my time and who isn't anymore. I am going to be totally reciprocal and not giving unconditional sacrifice anymore to people who are not at the top tier of friends. I am not going to take initiative to approach people who are not appreciate of my efforts anymore. I am not going to be taken for granted by anyone anymore. Bottom line is, from now on, if you want me to care about you, you have to give me a reason to care.

TESTIFY~!! KBG

New week

2008-09-02T14:54:00.002+08:00

Here we go.. :D

BUYS: Starting to do a little bit more work in office.. at least don't feel like an office boy now.. lol.. also getting to know a few more of my team mates better.. thanks to Boss, Caihong, Angela for mentoring me now, and Adeline's baby Joey is so cute man..

BUYS: Very respecting of my boss now; all the while I thought he acts cute; but now only I know, he is actually a dialysis patient as well. (his fistula so big I didnt notice) Suddenly I respect and admire his appreciation for his life, his desire to do the best he can for himself, and to improve the lives of the patients as well, to not let his illness hinder himself from being like everyone else. He's really a role model for our patients man.

NO BUYS: Weekend burned sia.. Why? Bcos had to go back to do some event this Sunday morning; not that it was bad but I would prefer not to go back on Sunday when the previous day.. Saturday, was THE FUCKING MOBILISATION!!!!! Oh seriously, I so seriously feel: FUCK THE ARMY! That's right that how I feel about army.. OH MY BROTHER.. TESTIFY! NO BUYS: Mob meant seeing J.Yip, my buddy again. And I really love him to death.. we have been through IT ALL.. BUT.. and there is always a but in life.. I wish he would stop saying or making us (poor me n SM) think that, he will intro girls to us. Not the first time already. You are not obligated to do so.. so pls don't say such stuff when we all know it won't happen.. 5 years of buddies already.. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS OK?

BUYS: My orientation was this week too.. and the BUYS about it was.. eh.. I got to see how cute Philipinos ah (guess why NKF employ so many of them?).. their Spanish-Tagalog accented English sounds nice.. Yeah and also.. I got to learn the Vision n Mission n Core Values of NKF.. and what the Finance dept and the logistics do and how the dialysis machines work BIO MEDICALLY... and... it was eh.. educational? >_<

NO BUYS: Orientation is really si bei sian. Pui.

BUYS: It has been an emotional and awesome week for our table tennis. We ended the 345 year medal drought.. and although the women all crashed out of the singles tournament.. I have absolutely nothing but praise for them.. as Feng and Li didn't go down w/o a fight. Feng should be a contender by the next Olympics. :D But I do wish Zhang Yining was from SG.. she is so cute.

BUYS: The finals of basketball was really awesome. It almost deserves a post itself but I am lazy. Anyway.. this was world class basketball at its best.. the background story was there (Redeem team who are still the best on paper but who have won jack shit since Sydney 2000 with everything to lose vs the underdogs who have everything to win), the anticipation was there, the Dream match ups were there, the plays were there, the dunks were there, the awesome moves were there.. but more than this a basketball game is.. and it was because till the last moments, USA was never able to shake Spain off.. and till the point that we started to believe that Spain could actually make it. The excitement and emotion was so great man. WOO.

NO BUYS: My table tennis training continues, but this week, me and Lionel lost to 2 noobs!!! Oh my god!!!! This shows in doubles, teamwork and chemistry matters most. >_<

BUYS: MEP story continues, and I just want to say, I am damn sian.

NO BUYS: (I didn't feel so that day but after thinking, I think I am justified to write this) After like very long of trying to ask her out to meet for my birthday, which is once every year, the first time ever in 3 years I known her, and by my birthday it would be 3 months on the waiting list already, and I am asking in advance of 3 weeks, the answer is still see how. The thing is bcos she is impt, just going out friend friend talk talk, even if its just a short time, would really mean a lot to me.

That is a big reason why I am upset, bcos she won't make the effort, even from a friend to a friend. There is no thinking on her part when she might be free, or where is most convenient, or what we can do that will make her more willing, it is just she say no w/o considering. Seriously, would it be so bad to go out a while with me? Do I deserve this? Really I am very disappointed in her. This isn't about me liking her anymore, its like just on a friends level, she can't even give face for a special occasion? Really? This isn't the first day I known her, and based on what we have done together, what we have been through together, in the end is our friendship really worth so little?

Bye

My emotional problem

2008-08-07T23:27:00.004+08:00

I thought I shouldn't bother writing cos hardly anybody would care anyway, but then, this isn't the first time I write stuff that no one cares.. and I'll no star celebrity so why do I care what people would think? Just write what I want.

U know, I can't believe in a sense that it has been 1 week passed. It seemed like so much time had passed, mainly because I had been thinking quite a lot on this. And I also can't believe the circumstances that led to what I said just last week. Guess that is really fate man, especially at a time when I really considered to start letting go n giving her n me space.

I said a lot of things, and a lot of repetitions and nagging, but when it came to the main messages I wanted to say, I knew I was dead on serious. And I believe I was sincere about it. And I definitely still am. I just don't know how much of it she actually heard or believed or understood. To her, do I sound really like I meant it, or did I just sound weird?

I'm not judging anything, and right now, I just want to give myself space too. To reset my configurations in a way, and to find new meaning in other things. Which is true because the day after I said it, I really feel FREE. I feel that a great weight has been gone, because I had been keeping those issues to myself for too long.

I'm letting go first because I don't want to burden myself anymore by, for lack of better words, pressing my hot face against the cold ass of someone else. (Original phrase in Chinese) So I'm just being normal, neutral, polite and cordial. Just waiting it out for now.

BUT I STILL WANT TO SETTLE THIS SOON. Because I am serious about this, serious about how I feel about her, serious about where I want "this" to be going. And right now, I don't know what to think and I don't want to committ effort and feelings into this anymore without knowing that there is a mutual understanding, because I don't want to feel hurt anymore.

So that is why I hope to get the answer soon. I am totally ok with a negative answer, but what I am worried is I won't get an answer.

:/

O_o

2008-07-29T21:31:00.002+08:00

U know its funny how much u can learn from other people. In just a meeting with 2 people, i can see 2 extremes of how people see relationships.

1 extreme has the thought that as long u got the $$ and ur own view of charisma, u can attract the people with the pretty faces, and the good figures who will gladly $$%%^^ ur %^&* and call u daddy. And if someone is just ordinary.. who cares if they really are nice to u for who u are, u can insult them all u want, cos they look not pretty.

Another person however, is able to appreciate when people are really nice and really cares. Even though they are seperated half of the planet, they know what to feel for each other, regardless of the imperfections in one another. When someone puts in effort, the other can understand.

Its just 2 different views abt relationships.. I am not saying which is wrong or not, altho u can tell which I prefer. We are all free to choose how we want to live our lives that is for sure, but what is also true is we will have to bear the consequences of our choices.

KBG

The Dark Knight

2008-07-27T00:59:00.007+08:00

Make no mistake, I am still upset and disappointed, and upset becos of disappointment. But for one night at least, I will talk about the Dark Knight (TDK). Time to bring the Jason ratings scale back from the mothballs.

RIGHT

Story content

To be honest, the first film had a really unrelatable and crappy story content. The bad guys were jokes and story progression was confusing and nonsense to me. I mean who has the scarecrow ever beaten to be considered a supervillian? But this time, Nolan FUCKING got it right. Characters are believable, events make sense, the action is exciting, story progression is logical, we get the high tech visuals, the big bombs, the jokes, ALMOST EVERYTHING was there.

Depth

This is a blockbuster, with depth in it. I mean what is the theme of iron man, hulk, OLDiana Jones, Mummy 3, Hancock (insert sex jokes here), Wanted etc..? No one needs a theme and no one cares either. But TDK goes beyond the sexy story and action and mind games, and plays into DARK themes about heroism, morality, justice, freedom of choice, power, sacrifice, humanity, and the sexy order and equilibrium concept. It explores and exposes what a vigilante is like, instead of the glamorous superhero. I mean THIS is really what the spiderman franchise claimed spiderman was man. No cookie cutter- giving candy to babies idol, but someone who takes the law in his own hands and instills fear into enemies and citizens.

It is a movie that makes you think about the issues in it, and it is real enough to make u draw parallels with the real world. Like what if someone were to really release chaos into our City? SG is the MOST orderly, organised, systematic, law by law country in the world. How would we be affected? Its good movies that make u think.

Unpredictability

With the trailers which like to trick people and/or give everything enjoyable away, and with the internet age where every fuck shit spoiler appears before u even know it , this is a difficult quality for a movie. But once again Nolan did it. Lets compare with Mummy 3. I can tell u now that Jet Li WILL 90% NOT exist in the modern time. Scenes with him are merely scenes retelling his past. The dragon emperor will likely die super soon and that Dragon in the snowy place is the last boss. Yeah I got burned 6 years ago with the Scorpion King part, so I know their tricks.

But once u have seen TDK, can u tell me that u expected all the plot twists and false finishes? Did u expect the Joker to be beaten in that way finally? Or the role of 2 Face? Or how the whole master plan of the Joker happened as it did? Or the moral dilemna scene with the 2 ships? And last but not least, ur own feelings when u were watching? Did u expect Nolan to play with ur senses and emotions as he did, twisting and manipulating them like the Joker manipulated everyone??

The Joker/ The man behind him

As expected, we all knew who stole the show, but was it up to expectations? Thats up to u to decide. I'll talk about Ledger's acting first. And his portrayal of the Joker is just a work of art. If the character continues, it would be immortalized just like JACK SPARROW. A character acted in such unusual yet unforgettable ways. From his accurate portrayal of a complete Psycho, to the little things like chuckling out of rhythm and flinging his hair at the sight of Rachel, he is awesome.

Believability

We need to see stuff that is believable and stuff we can relate to. And the show is totally believable. This is part of the reinventing of the franchise. Batman aint no cheesy, cookie cutter guy. He is skilled, but he is vulnerable. He literally trips, he makes mistakes, he gets knocked out easily, he gets caught in nets. He is one man alone against everyone and it eats him up. His batmobile gets busted up and doesnt appear again in the show.

And what about the Joker? U know the thing is, the best bad guys are those who really make sense in their ideas and believe in them fully. That's why Hitler sucks cos his ideas are crap. But not Joker's. His ideas about the nature of humans, about the importance of order and structure and how chaos affects it, about the perception of freaks like him and batman.. they are true. And there are people like him who we can identify. People who just want to destroy everything for the kick of it. Did anyone know the ideologies of the Scarecrow? Or Ra's Al Gu? ANYONE?

And the way which things are done.. we don't have weird baddies and heroes with unreal powers who fly and shoot fires out of their anus-es. We just have real people in the show and events tha happen realistically.

Janice: quote machine

Janice is my pretty sister who is available by the way. Well since she's the one trained in Media, I'll try to quote what she said.

The way the film is edited and organised fits so well with parts of the dialogue. It is unsuprising bcos the director and the scriptwriter are the same! Besides, the show is directed well with elements of HK mob flicks. It is really like a crime thriller with action sequences rather than a real comic book movie. Things happening in unpredictable ways, explosions everywhere, and where the directore really grips u by the collar and makes u feel tension, feel frightened, anxious, and where everything is really under his control. Its like he is like the Joker, manipulating everyone into what he wants them to feel, just like how the Joker manipulates everyone in the film. WOO!!

SO-SO

Can u catch lightning in a bottle again?

I must say that Nolan really did it, and I have a feeling that he brought his A++++ game to make the film. But with that said, after u have thrown EVERYTHING at us, how much does he have left in the tank to make the next batman film???? By peaking NOW, u will make a lousier movie in the future. And that would be a huge disappointment after such a sexy effort.

Did we really need such an established cast?

Of cos if I wanted to complain about this, I should have done so in the first film, but really, did anyone tell themselves, "Hey I'm going to watch the show BECAUSE Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman and Gary Oldman are inside!!! Yeah !!! " NOBODY goes to watch Alfred, Commissioner Gordon and the black guy Freeman was playing. So maybe they could have cut some costs there....

BAD

The girls..

Yeah, EVERY hero flick needs a babe right to be the damsel in distress.. zzzzzzz... and although they went out of cliche to make her DIE HALFWAY of the film, and not to have many love/emo scenes and ZERO SEXUAL SCENES, which is appreciated cos it is as I say, not Cliche... but then serious.. I could care less about her role... I mean by not casting Katie Holmes again.. it shows any old woman can act as Rachel. So if producers dont care... why should I care?

2-face from a viewer's perspective

Harvey Dent's character was well and fine, but as 2-face, who is supposed a major villain, I just couldn't feel him man. I mean, did we really need to have another dude pop up as a bad guy? And even so.. did he need to do so little and die so soon?

2-face from a business perspective

And it gets worst. Bcos 2-face DIES... he can't continue right. So whats gonna happen in part 3????? Who else is believable that they can drag out of the mothballs? And even if they did decide to use say, Catwoman, they have got to go back to the drawing board and come up with a new story. From a business view, they should have just cut costs and concentrated on Joker with the cliffhanger shit on the fate of 2-face.

RIDICULOUS

I'm Chinese but its a bad idea

I mean these bad parts of the show are really me nitpicking.. but since I need to come up with at least 1 ridiculous part.. then yeah.. using Hong Kong was an epically shitty idea.

It wasn't even that good of a chance of scenery.. and nothing happened in the 5 minutes of Hong Kong that they couldn't film "locally". My guess is that they had like a minumum budget which they suprisingly underspent so they decided to take a holiday there and "film" a token few minutes to give to Chinese viewers as fan service? And whats up with Edison Chen?????? THAT WAS IT??? They created a media godzilla hoopy halla in HK for THIS!??!!? I mean, couldnt Edison be like Lau?? He WAS a superstar in HK after all. I mean, to hire someone of his stature.. it probably cost them like a few million HK dollars rite..? Well YOURS TRULY would have done a better job with like only HK$200,000. (1 year's salary at about Sgd$ 3000 a month)

And did anyone notice Mr LAU (Cantonese surname) was speaking Mandarin/Guo Yu/ Pu Tong Hua all the while in HK??? Is his character supposed to be from CHINA or is his company some China MNC??

CLOSING POINTS

Despite my ranting at the end, u need to know that this is the best movie u will probably see in the whole year. It gets u on ur toes the whole time, and u really won't know how the twists and turns work out. It provides themes worth your time to ponder, and action worth your full attention. It gets u into a whole spiral experience without letting go. And u really owe it to yourself to go see it.

Jason

Graduation Day ~

2008-07-12T12:49:00.007+08:00

Happy la.. graduation day.. ~~

And just like that, my life as student is officially over. For my friends that are working maybe it won't matter so much, but to me it does la.. its another wake up call to get a job!!!

Anyway, I'm not a reflective or insightful person, but just wan to see what I can talk about the whole nus experience. Off the top of my head I can think of the whole Melissa saga, Chinese studies, lecturer Usa, outings with the gang, going off to Mwh and the whole YQ thing, the whole 2 girls thing in 2006, helping foreign students in I-care, Japanese studies: one of the worst projects ever, the beginning of girl of 2007 issue, placement, going off to HK n all the stuff with bunny girl and everyone else, and the last sem of bo chap with another worst project ever: Mkt1003. And that's just the surface only man. Countless boring lectures, countless stoning tutorials, but also countless times with friends, countless events in nus and the developing of oneself through activities, through mugging, through academic work. It has really been an interesting ride man but now that graduation day had came, time to move on!!

Anyway, a few things about Gday. Well I was in a slight rush cos didn't reach there too early but still managed to wear the gown and transformed into Harry potter. But of cos, the stupid gown was damaged a bit and the front hook always came off so had to ask Weiling etc to help me man. Stupid gown.. NO BUYS~~!!

I thought the ceremony was much shorter than expected. Think the people higher up also get bored after so many days of ceremonies, 3 times a day. Anyway, the guy who gave a speech was quite sincere I feel and lifelong learning and investing wisely is indeed important.. so I'll keep that in mind. Of cos, the bulk of the ceremony was trying to calm our nerves for the most important 5 seconds: being on the stage !! Seriously.. no one can say that they weren't nervous at all. Anyway, it was tough cos other than the emotions, we also have to be sure not to make any mistake.. so I was like memorizing the movement.. walk walk walk, smile, shake hands, hold scroll, pause to smile at camera.. OMG... sounds so lame.. but trust me u will be like that also.. woo~~

Of cos the most fun part came la.. PHOTOS~~~ I must say that if there is any day in the whole 3 years to take photo with absolutely anyone.. it is this day. So I told myself to be totally SHAMELESS and just be an absolute attention grabbing asshole!! And I must say the result is MANY BUYS~~~ !!!

Yeah to be more specific, I took photos with people I weren't even close with.. and a few people I don't even know man. I mean I just poked my head into 2 people taking and one guy was like "who in the blue hell are you" on his face.. well I did know his friend but whatever.. it was just total chaos but it was really fun man. Also another thing is that since we are SUPERSTARS today.. there are cameras flashing everywhere.. so 1 single pose can have like 457 cameras shots and if u look at the photos, some of them have certain people looking at different cameras than others.. quite cute sia~~

I do want to comment that I took some unexpected photos.. like with MELISSA (FROM THE MELISSA SAGA) who said," Ohhhhh u.... ohhhhh.. I was in the hall and they said Jason Low and I was like.. Jason?? Ohhhhhh but its u..... !!! Congrats man... !!!! I didn't even know u are graduating... Ohhhhh congrats!!!" Basically I was just thinking "Forget the first guy who liked u in Uni in just 3 years huh? KNNBPCB, DLLM, FFFFFFF" but its ok.. moving on.. ^ ^

I was a bit disappointed I didn't manage to take with some people like Cynthia, Cheryl, Su Mei, Shihhui, Pearline, Peiwen and more, and I didn't get 1 on 1 shots with some people like Eunice, Audrey, Amanda etc. cos everyone was like crashing into everyone else's photos but what was best was that I did get the real photos I wanted, like the gang pic (minus VIP Marcus who couldn't come), pics with lecturers, and also 1 on 1 pics with everybody in the gang of girls I know in SW !! I was worried that would not happen, but my apologies cos everyone was ON!! Thanks to DH n CM for their presents too.. esp the hand.. can use to slap people woo!!

Awesome day.. For photos check FB!!!

KBG

Jumping on the 蕭敬騰 bandwagon

2008-07-08T20:36:00.003+08:00

I wanted to write about some girls, like ultra cute Amber Kuo, or beautiful Jade Liu, or even my cute Bibi.. but can't imagine I will be writing about a guy.. lol .. Folks, I have officially jumped on the 蕭敬騰 bandwagon and joining in the cause to help him fulfil his destiny as the next big thing in Mandopop !!!

But really, u see, for the guys in Mandopop, I feel they have it harder (not just in music industry; in the game of life we also have it harder). How to say... the kind of routes that guys take are much less flexible then for female singers. It is not too difficult to create a special image as a female singer, because I believe that females have more flexibility in the kind of girls they can become, which then can affect the kind of female artiste they become. Look at Jolin, Fan Wei Qi, Bibi Chow, SHE (all 3 of them), Faye from FIR etc.. u realise they are mostly different kinds of females, because they exhibit cuteness, beauty, charm, charisma, hotness etc. in difference degrees. Such is the flexibility in being a girl.

Look on the other end at the guys. Look at all the members of Feilunhai & 5566 & Energy and whatever fuck shit boybands and tell me if u can differentiate any one from all of them!! Look at how many people look like JJ Lim, and how many also look like Wang Li Hong. I mean it isn't really their fault... males just lack flexibility due to genetics, socialization, norms, u name it. Its like u are either a normal guy or u are an emo guy. In fact emo is a new fad, so like 3 years ago, there was only 1 kind of guys. Nope ah guas and gays dont count. SG guys are too ego-heavy to acknowledge them and to SG guys they mean the same anyway.

Thats why I think that Mr Xiao is here to make more impacts after the impact he has already made. He is just very unique compared to all the Luo Zhi Xiang clones out there. His voice, his singing, his personality, his style are something we have never seen before!!!! He's not a normal guy, but he's not an emo guy as well. He is like heaven's gift to us after years of seeing people imitate Jay Chow. Its like heaven decided.. "fuck all these RnB ballads with cheap falsettos... fuck all those dancing boy bands. hear THIS GUY !!"

In short.. all the way Mr Xiao !!! If someone can make a hokkien song so awesome.. must be a genius man!!

2nd ICT

2008-07-01T13:08:00.008+08:00

Back from ICT. Now finally have to seriously seek employment. Some short notes. And to quote a format of writing columns from 411mania.com, I shall use BUYS n NO BUYS to differentiate the good and bad that happened.

NO BUYS: I actually was slightly surprised by my own apprehension into going back, since it was a good 2 years and we all know how much can change in 2 years.

BUYS: What surprised me more was I got used to army feel in like 15 minutes into the In Processing.

NO BUYS: Caught for haircut. Nope I obviously didnt have my Legolas hair or even my Luo Zhi Xiang hair; I HAD REAL SHORT HAIR!!!!! Can u imagine how pissed I was when I already cut hair the day before???

NO BUYS: I had a slight reluctance to talk to people. Not just random company mates, but also people I used to be with all the time. Oh well..

BUYS: I did not succumb to my Sect Comb Kelvin's pleas to intro girls to him. Yes firstly I don't even know girls well, and second, SORRY but I don't trust him to not screw my friends. Yes he just broke up and is probably really sad, but finding another girl doesn't mean the problem is solved.

NO BUYS: How I rejected him though, was by feeble excuses and so much that he had to quit by helping me think of excuses. Cool? I mean he has a very outspoken personality and a really MLM style of asking me for something but come on Jason, you are better than that. Other than that, I would just avoid or ignore him or change the topic. (Yes I learnt this move from all the girls thru these years of bachelorhood)

NO BUYS: Total BOBO shooter at the range. I didn't mind personally, but financially $200 prize was at stake and $200 for 4 other people were gone bcos of me. (Its a group thing) So that had to weight on my conscience somewhat. :(

NO BUYS: Missing ICT last Dec meant I need to do a make up one, HIGH KEY, some time else, and also, I didn't get the new insignia sewed on the uniform!!! BOOHOO !!! Comeon, I am a lao jiao soldier baby!!

BUYS: I must say I exceeded my expectations in IPPT. Other than 2.4 which still sucks, I actually improved 80% on my 2nd test which was within 36 hours of the 1st test!! If I can work on my running, I really do have a shot at passing!!!

BUYS: I must say I really learnt how to relax in army. Just fuck everything and chao geng. Go canteen, watch TV.. Woo. I even got to be in a lightstrike vehicle for the 1st time !!

NO BUYS: Becoming ammo saigang party. Woke up at 4.30 and so shag man. Somemore the next day slept 3 hours.. fuck army.

BUYS: At least the ammo party gave me something to do... load bullets for 1 whole day.

NO BUYS: I sms-ed quite a few friends thru the week. Yes thanks to them, I was slightly less bored. But then, what we must know is that when u are in camp, it is beyond boring.. it is totally NO LIFE. Just 2 days in and then out for 10 minutes travelling to another place already made me feel like such a total alien to the CV world. Fuck army.

NO BUYS: ASO. first, the FOUR hour lecture was 10000 times as boring as watching paint dry and second, I think it shows how outdated our army is. ASO is a great idea I think. It involves protection of civilians, media handling, POW management, protection of routes and installations and helping of humanitarian organisations; all in times of conflict. But as I say, the fact that in 2008 , after 10000 years of NS in our country, then we finally decided to implement this idea in training. I mean sure, other units may have known this before, and the role of Guards are more offensive then defensive, so maybe we didn't need to know this in NSF days. But something tells me that this delay is throughout the SAF. If we do get into a struggle with our neightbours, we will be on the DEFENSIVE. And when that happens, our country, which happens to be the most densely populated in the world, and which is full of urban buildings.. WILL BE THE BIGGEST PRIORITY TO MANAGE . If 200 missiles start flying into Somerset one day (touch wood), who should our army settle first? The enemies or the civilians?? So how come until now then our NS men have an idea that in times of war, we are actually doing more than just route marching thru jungles and attacking enemies in jungles? With all the 3G army and next gen technology.. so ironic that this kind of practical concepts that should have been established and taught like in my dad's time are taught now!!

BUYS: I'll put this under buys cos it is a good thing I guess. Well I thank my buddies for suggesting some ideas about a big issue I have had. I mean, I saw it from a perspective that I really never ever thought of and it could explain some stuff. Of cos I believe some of my old ideas are still valid, and cos I dont think they have really encountered the same experience as me. But nonetheless thanks!

BUYS: I believe I heard Sgt Tan Teck Joo scream from downstairs:" where's the bayonet!??!?!?" in the first time ever in 4 years.. !! Glorious.

KBG

I'm back pt 3

2008-06-22T14:21:00.006+08:00

Have to finish this before going to army for next week. Fuck the army. Anyway...

Berlin to Copenhagen

The author (me) has decided to add this into the review of his trip, cos it took 1 day and it wasn't ordinary. Now, normally a train trip is a train trip. We just sit, sleep and yes we are there. On this day, it wasn't the case. Well we knew that Denmark was not really very accessible by land from Germany, but we didn't expect to have to disembark our fucking train like 1.5 hours into the 8 hour or so journey. Turns out we had to 1) take a bus to putgarden, 2) go there and receive no information from the station master who is as blur as us 3) finally someone who knew German got the info that we should go wait for the ship there 4) taking a 45 min ship 5) waiting like 30 minutes for a bus 6) taking the bus to another station where a train would take us to Copenhagen.

All in all, I think our trip was delayed by like 3 hours. Fuck.

København (Copenhagen)

Most impressive place: The views of the river and port, Gefion fountain, Frederiskburg Palace and garden, Christiania. Quite a few more all good actually.

Most blah place : Actually also quite a few, but the 2 most are little mermaid, and Carlsberg centre. Little mermaid is actually "good" but bcos it IS the most famous landmark, u would expect a lot more than a soft porn statue. Yes many people already said it would be disappointing, but still idealistically thinking, I still thought there could be disney music and Sebastian the lobster singing. As for Carlsberg, the expectations was much worse and the experience even worst. Just took a few photos and thats that.

Biggest suprise: Seeing the legendary Michael Laudrup playing at a football event and also witnessing Christiania, an area where the hippies, musicians, artists, junkies form their own community, and not being under the government. Drawing the comparison with the Vatican city would be disrespectful but similarities can be found too. Cool place, but NO PHOTOS!! :(

Cost: Quite possibly the highest of all.

Weather: Morning and evening are like Paris or London, but afternoon could get as bad as Germany.

City Public Hostel: The most bedded place yet, and pricy as well. Think there were like 60 beds in a big empty space.. wa.. of cos got to see a lot of stuff, like how to wear a bra with a top already on. Anyway, the beds were also the lousiest ever. Just the tiniest movement and the whole bed would creak. The sponge mattresses and the almost breaking support underneath didn't help. It was so bad that dear Marcus had to sleep in fear I would come crashing on him. However, I didn't dislike it too much, cos 1) no choice, 2) tired, and 3) I think I like Copenhagen. Whatever!!

Other than the unexpected trip from Berlin, I must say, I do like Copenhagen. I think it was a good change from BORE-lin and it did a lot of good. I want to say it has a Zurich kind of feeling, but in a more bigger and happening city, but that is too shallow too. I think I would say that it has a good mix. The streets are wide and relaxing, the buildings are largely authentic, there is good and historical architecture, great views from the mini Venice port and the main river, Christiania, the football event, there are great parks, super cute kids, not too touristy, the people can speak English well, and the pace of life seems very enjoyable. Like, no one seems to be in a hurry, and people are spending fun time with their kids. Yes it is damn ex, but so are Oslo and Stockholm.

*notes down this on places to emigrate to when I have my daughter Meijia*

Hamburg

Most impressive place: Fish market. Yeah I know what u are thinking, it wins by default cos Hamburg is boring. But still it was an enjoyable time. Near the coast, selling not just fish but lots of food, fruits were sold. Lively atmosphere, with aunties who gave Marcus free stuff (Auntie Killer ^ ^), and a rock band playing somewhere near. What more can you want from a market?

Most blah place: City centre... see Berlin and London reviews.

Biggest surprise: We did get to see a helicopter take off in the middle of the city. Not my first time near one, but just to say, u cannot imagine how much force the propeller has and it can and will sweep u off ur feet. (no pun intended) Not to mention seeing GTA in real life i.e, Police Vans with sirens ringing, rushing to a scene frantically and armoured police rushing out to guard an area........ where people were watching Germany vs Poland. Now u knw how big football is in Europe.

Cost: Similar to other German cities.

Weather: also similar to them. Which is fuck la, cos coming down from Scandinavia makes the difference in temperature even more noticeable.

Wira Hostel: Due to the lousy map, we took pains to find this place despite it being very fucking near to a S Bahn (metro) station. Operated by this friendly Thai/Vietnam/Laos/Cambodian couple, it was definitely a better place at least to sleep in. Located underground and no cooking (I suspect cos a fire would be horrendous), but nice with private lockers. Yes the drunken Brits spoiled my sleep at times but it was all good.

Hamburg is, much like Berlin. The good is that it is near the coast, it is slightly more hip, and there is red light district yeah.. though it pales in comparison to Amushiterdan.. but the fish market was great, and overall time wasn't wasted too much.

Amsterdam

Most impressive place: Other than the hostel, I would definitely point out the RDA (Red light district of Amsterdam). It is an attraction of the city and it is quite unreal man. The workers standing behind glass doors with velvet curtains, entertaining curious tourists and sending electrical waves to men with energy to spare.. plus the neon lighted adult entertainment streets, and the sex themed merchandise everywhere from pencils to pillows.. it is both eye opening and cool to see.

Most blah place: Ajax amsterdam !! Fucking hell we cant even go INSIDE to see!!

Biggest suprise: That smoking pot is really not what I thought. Most people think drugs will harm u.. make u do things out of control, make u violent.. but guess what.. for the case of marijuana, my personal experience is that it affects your SENSES the most. I always thought it was a hallucinogen, but nope, what it does it make u more perceptive to stimuli in the environment. Sounds become louder, images become clearer and sharper, and u feel that u can feel and touch the world around u more than ever. And this therefore makes u feel better, because u feel more happy and contented with ur own experience at that time. U feel u are able to focus more, u are able to think more clearly and all in all, u are in a relaxed state but enjoying it. In fact, while smoking marijuana, my fren and another guy were able to have an intellectual sociological discussion. Sure changes ur perception of drugs man.

Cost: High high high !

Weather: It was fine for the first day, but it got really colder as the night came, till like 10 degrees?? In fact, on the third day, it started to rain and rain so we were stuck on the hostel all day.

Amsterdam itself (I am skipping hostel review here) actually held a few mild surprises. What u envision of the Netherlands about tulip fields and windmills are not the highlight of Amsterdam. The geographical context enables Amsterdam to have canals within the city, and therefore narrow and cool streets (THIS is a real city on water). The football pride is rampant here and it is bustling and fun, yet relaxing and beautiful. But what sets the place apart is the theme.

Every city has a theme and key words that describe it. Paris could be romance, Rome could be history, and SG is definitely BORING or SIAN or NO-LIFE. Amsterdam is something like NO HOLDS BARRED. Yea, everything that people don't allow and frown upon, Amsterdam takes them and REPOSITIONS them to market their city to tourists. Where else can u find soft drugs on the shelves next to candy? Where else can u find drug stalls doubling as cafes, restaurants, pubs all in one? Where else can u find sex toys in souvenir shops? Where else can a RDA become a tourist attraction? Amsterdam takes pride in making sex and drugs the selling point of their city, and to let the world know that it is perfectly ok to have fun in your life. Something as impt as their football club has XXX on the logo of the club flag. Even the pillars on the road have XXX printed ON them. And that is what I respect and admire about them. They are able to make taboo into something everyone can enjoy under safe limits, while not making it seem they just want to rip tourists off. I think they are proud that they can be so open. THIS is the real Sex and the city man. :D

Lucky Lake Hostel

It deserves its own section bcos this is the best hostel ever. When u think of hostel, u think of all the places I described. But lucky lake is different. To be brief, it is near a lake, near the countryside, the rooms are caravans, the place has hammocks, grass, open area cooking, u can see windmills somewhere, n it is relaxing and far away from everywhere. To put it simpler, hostels we have been so far are just mostly places to sleep, and if u are lucky u may find something to do (other than clubbing) when u return from sightseeing. LL hostel is a place where u have so much u can enjoy, and it just happens to have beds as well. Not to mention we met a hell lot of people there; it was awesome.

I don't wan to write about oxford, so this is my Euro Trip. ^ ^ Happy reading !

KBG

I'm back ! Pt 2

2008-06-20T13:57:00.005+08:00

Wien (Vienna)

Most impressive place: St Stephen's Cathedral. Second almost only to the SPB in Vatican, its strong points are the micro designs in the architecture. I can't do it justice with words alone, but the style is something that architects should salivate after.

Most Blah place: Pretty much everywhere else. Summer palace was good, made me feel a little better since it looked like Versailles, but yeah, pretty much everything else wasn't really that good.

Biggest Surprise: Discovering and liking the hostel.

Weather: Venice-like

Cost: Significantly lower.. !

Believe it or not Hostel: Totally suits the name. Just opposite the road was a cool and happening hostel, but we couldn't even find the signboard for this one. We rang the bell, were led up dark corridors before entering a door inside a large building into an apartment. There. With that said, the initial surprise led to a positive experience, as after 2 weeks of sleeping in crap places, there was a change. Having a small cosy place which looked like home, with a nice little kitchen and only about less than ten people, it was a pleasant stay. We also cooked for the first time in the trip and it was damn cheap and I think it made us feel full for the first time in a long time.

Vienna of cos has nice places. Just would have been nicer if we had maybe went into the palaces. But I found the city to be a pleasant place, if you stay like 1.5 days though. We stayed longer, so we kind of ran out of places to go to that were just for free sight seeing.

Given the history of the place; I think Vienna played a significant role in the Renaissance age, the Holy Roman empire age, where it was the centre of art, music and culture. Hell, Mozart was Austrian, the Waltz was invented in Vienna and Sigmund Freud in recent times developed his ideas here. Yet Vienna as a city doesn't seem to have aged well, and you can contrast this to Rome, which has been around since forever and still remembered and loved. This is my own view of cos. Maybe with a bigger budget or knowledge of art and music, someone else might appreciate it.

Munchen (Munich)

Most impressive place: I really want to say Rathaus Town hall in central Munich, bcos I love the architecture of the place, but I must say Neuschwanstein Castle, though it is technically not in Munich. I only need to say this: it is the castle that inspired the settings for Disney's fairy tales. Oh yeah.

Most Blah place: Souvenir shops? I mean buying German souvenirs are like encountering daylight robbery man. A small key chain can cost like 5 Euros..

Biggest suprise: Met the most friends there.

Weather: Still ok.

Cost: Other than souvenirs, things are not too ex. Kinda like Vienna.

Jaegars Hostel: Located somewhere at the red light area, it is however, a happening place. Rooms are very spacious, each room has its own shower, and its more than passable. Met the most people there though, a group of fellow countrymen, as well as a pair of Chinese cute and fun people. Quite fun in a way, as we saw the most drunk people there, we got woken up for TURNOUT cos the reception thought that someone in the room overstayed or something and 2 new customers had no place to stay, we saw really hot US babes sleeping next to our bed.. , we heard people having sex in the street at nite..

Munich by right, shouldn't be too high on my list, but it is. U need to look at this place from the perspective of clubbing and partying (I didn't do that cos no $), shopping, and also the history of WW2. I think the time was also spent efficiently; I mean we didn't like wander around aimlessly all day and getting sian and tired. We did the central areas, which was one of the nicest city centres, with happening activities. We went to a former SS concentration camp site, we took a hike to see Munich football stadium, and we spent a day with Bonnie and Shawn, which was a nice change from just the 2 of us, and I went to the castle.

Berlin

Most impressive place: Berlin wall sites. That's not saying a lot I guess but through seemingly ordinary walls, u might actually feel its significance to the history and development of Germany. People climbed over, people were smuggled over, and people died bcos of the place.

Most blah place: Off my memory I would say Olympic stadium. Yes historical, but still we did like Jack Shit over there. Yes lots of cute kids (school excursion) there, but if they can enter and we can't, that feels bad rite?

Biggest suprise: BUSHIBAN!!!! No contest again; the most entertaining person I met on the trip. A guy with lots of hair and soprano genes, who is so articulately smart yet transexually irritating at the same time. It was really a guilty pleasure to watch him in action, for example like trying to kill a spider by throwing a cup at it. And to think he has a passable Taiwan girlfriend. The fuck?

Weather: Basically Singapore weather without the humidity. But still very unbearable, considering we walked like 15 km or something everyday.

Cost: good.. Germany is still cheap.

Sleepcheap Hostel: By far the cheapest hostel ever, 9 Euros a nite. The fuck? Yes, the room was cramped. Yes the place was dirty, and the walls had spiders hibernating, but I think BUSHIBAN helped numb the pain. lol. Internet was totally free as well. And not many people using like Paris.

Berlin actually butt bumped Vienna out of the top spot for best boring city. Thanks for recommending Berlin Ethan. THANKS. Anyway, I believe the good things in Berlin are good of cos, not Vatican City good, but satisfiable good. Like the old SS site where they tortured people, the remnants of the Berlin wall, the make believe East West Germany Checkpoint (that was great I admit), the Sunday market where we visited, the majestic (forgot name) Berlin military Monument, the cathedral that was bombed in the war, and me enjoying the space between Karl Marx's statue legs. Berlin is kind of like the London of mainland Europe, famous, historical, but very metropolitan, and much less autentic and touristy. If u want scenice sightseeing, its not the place. Go the German alps or black forest or wherever. Nor is it for clubbing, cos Munich has got that covered. I don't know, I feel I did see a lot in Berlin, but maybe stuff weren't to my taste that much. But still it is worth a visit, just be sure to not overspend time there.

I'm back ! Pt 1

2008-06-20T11:26:00.008+08:00

Yes Yes everyone's fav sexy boy is back, and now is the time to talk about my Europe trip of cos. Refer to facebook for photos, I shall not bother uploading them twice. Here are comments on the places first. Forgive me if I spell stuff wrong.

London

Most impressive place: Big Ben and Houses of Parliament.

Most Blah place: Buckingham Palace. Just stand outside far far and take pics. See changing of guard. . . and fantasize the Queen is looking at us.

Biggest suprise: Seeing anti Bush demonstrations the day he came to visit. (maybe it isnt a suprise after all)

Cost: Super High. S$40 to enter the fucking Tower of London.

Weather: Warm and breezy. Got a little hot and my nose bled but still good.

Central Hostel: 6 beds squashed in half of a dirty room with little light and ventilation. The place was cutely decorated though, with hand painted stuff of London on all the walls of the 4 storied building. The somewhat cosy common area with couch and tv also eased the pain of sleeping with disgusting German guys.

This world famous city seems to be a "standard" place where people want to go too. After being there THRICE (TWICE in this trip), I don't think I can appreciate whatever beauty London has. It didn't disappoint too much, but in terms of landmarks, only the Houses of parliament stood out with their neo-gothic like architecture, and also Tower Bridge. London is WAY too big, has a WAY too complicated (underground stations can be located 100m apart from each other ^ ^), although comprehensive underground system, and is WAY too metropolitan that it is fine, but not fun to be in. I think it was a mistake to spend 3 days there, although we did maximize it by going to Emirates Arena, Wimbledon stadium, and Stamford Bridge (sorry KT, no real pictures of the field, need to pay). Overall I think its the kind of place to go to so u can tell people u have seen London. ~~

Manchester

Most impressive place: Old Trafford

Most blah place: -

Manchester Airport: Our comfy place for the nite. Sleeping on airports is no fun I can say, and the worst is the temp dropped to like 5 degrees at nite.

Biggest suprise: Arriving on the UEFA cup final between Glascow and St Petersburg. And therefore being in the mess which is called "100000 Glascow fans stormed into Manchester and wrecked the city in 12 hours."

Manchester was just a stopover so my homeboy MO could accomplish a life goal to see Old Trafford. It was a magnificant place, definitely beating the "shoe factory" that Chelsea plays in, though not as commercialized looking as Arsenal's stadium. We got on the train first class cos we had no choice and paid S$60 to go (#$%^&^&) but life sucks. I think it would have been boring if we didn't see the 100000 Glascow fans and witness why they say the Scottish are the most hooliganish of the UK football fans. They totally raped the place. I mean ALL food and beer ran out, subway had to close, the metro had to close cos they were all on the streets, and can u imagine roads all covered with rubbish? And suprise, we met a SG on the tram!

Paris

Most impressive place: Effiel Tower, Champ Elyss, Notre Dame, the Lourve Museum (the place where the Da Vinci Code story started)

Most Blah place: Versailles Palace. Technically not in Paris. It is listed not bcos the place sucked, but cos we did a moronic thing by not paying 5 Euros to enter and deciding to WALK like 54321 km AROUND the whole compund and wander into somewhere in the town before catching a few glimpses of the lake and one of the buildings before finding another entrance where we STILL MUST PAY.

Biggest suprise: Not being THAT impressed with the Effiel Tower. It is after all, the most popular Tourist landmark on Earth.

Cost: Super High. $6 on average for a sandwitch in cafes?

Weather: Slightly colder than London. Still good.

Absolute Paris/St Christopher's Hostel: Yes it sucked to change hostels in the same city, but good cos they were both nice but very different. AP hostel gave us the first and only feel we were in a private room (with 2 other guys) and private bath. Small and quiet yes, but not uncomfortable. Internet free too. SC on the other hand was like this new, modern disco like happening place. Lots of lights, sounds, beer, socializing, with large rooms and clean toilets. Ironic that the happening hostel was in a small quiet part of Paris, but the small one was near the City centre.

Oh yes, Paris. A Honeymoon couple's dreamland. Too bad I wasn't on honeymoon. The first day was beyond bad as we ate like nothing in the Manchester airport and arrived in Paris in the evening; the hostel was ULU, and my dinner was this noodle stuff in cold sour salad sauce. Except that it wasn't noodles but some sliced carrots I think. PUI!

However, Paris is worth going to because it combines art, romance and history together in a really awesome way. The bridges, rivers and streets are romantic. There are people drawing, busking on the streets, and the art work are all damn beautiful and historical. Yes the metro also sucked and dirtier and more crowded than London, but even the walls of the train tunnels have street art on them! We learned something about the city as we joined the "free" tour with an entertaining Mexican guide called Adrian and met Muh, an Afghan American who confirmed our childhood myth that people do speak like Michaelangelo from Ninja Turtles. I oso met up with my dear Alex, and he is still as funny as ever, in a SG way. (His lame jokes don't work on the French I think) Seriously, Paris even survived WW2 intact, and that is heaven's will that it exists so we can all visit it and enjoy, if we have $.

Zurich/Luzern

Most impressive place: Seeing the Swiss Alps.

Most Blah place: This tower in Luzern where we climbed till near cramp stage just to see NOTHING on the top floor.

Biggest suprise: That Zurich gives me a very contented and happy feel.

Cost: Ultra High. $12 for a Mc Meal !! $8 to dry clothes for 1.5 hours !!

Weather: Colder than Paris. Not too good.

Youth Hostel Zurich: It was also new and clean, though less crowded and happening. Rooms have very little place to hang clothes and ventilation isn't too good. The breakfast was the best ever man. Cheese, yogurt, ham, cornflakes... :D

After seeing 2 world famous places, we enter the relatively humble Zurich in the Swiss land. Although even Geneva is more famous than Zurich, Zurich still provided a good time in its own way. What it lacks in art, history and architecture, it makes up for in quiet peaceful environments, organized city planning, enjoyable shopping districts, views of the lakes and the Swiss alps, and the slightly increasing Euro fever at that time. Being in the suburbs is like being away from everything, just seeing quiet neighbourhoods with kids playing. Being in the city area is like maximum freedom, metropolitan but yet without the fast paced lifestyle of Paris. It is as people say, a nice place to retire, just bring the $.

Roma (Rome)/ Vatican City

Most impressive place: St. Peter's Bascillica in Vatican City. This was a no contest. Colosseum, Spanish Steps, all the churches, even St Peter's buddy Sistine Chapel ALL FELL IN COMPARISON. Yes, Sistine Chapel; part of the Pope's Palace, with one of Michaelangelo's greatest works "The Last Judgement" which took him 6 years to finish and spans the whole ceiling of the Chapel; yes including Sistine Chapel, still no one beat the bascillica.

The HQ of the Catholics in the world (sorry if the wording offends anyone) does indeed boast the greatest cathedral ever. AGAIN, IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CATHEDRAL EVER EVER EVER EVER. In fact it is the most impressive buidling I have ever been in. Go in and leave with your mouth wide open.

Most Blah place: One of the squares I think. Selling fruits and whatever. Hell it was listed on lonely planet. And things like the site of the Bastille Prison, significant in the French Revolution, but today is just a juction with Traffic I think. See I don't even bother remembering !

Biggest suprise: That the SP Bascillica had a queue of 20 minutes and was FREE and blowed my mind to oblivion, while the Vatican Museum had us 1) paying 14 Euro, 2) queuing for 3 hours, 3) queuing inside again just to see the Sistine Chapel which CAN'T TAKE PHOTOS.

Cost: Similar to Paris.

Weather: It rained for like 2 days. Fuck.

Roma Termini Hostel: The first hostel to have the signboard writing a different name than the one we knew it to be, and also located in a building with like 43 other hostels. It also had a very old school elevator. The doors indeed look like regular doors in our houses and you can see the wires and the whole elevator compartment moving up and down. Cute huh? Anyway exactly ONE floor was dedicated to this hostel, with overflowing water in toilets, and repair work ongoing. The rooms weren't bad, many beds but spacious. We met a nice Canadian-Korean girl, 2 Australian girls, 2 Brazilian guys, the latter of whom confirmed that "Si" is indeed "yes" in his language (it is the same word in Italian but Brazilians speak Portuguese rite? However, Yes in Portuguese is Sim) , by repeating it like 97 times in 10 minutes of conversation, while I was trying to sleep. THANKS.

Rome is known as the ETERNAL CITY, cos its beauty has stood the test of time. The history of the place, the architecture, they all reek of greatness. Feel the walls of the colosseum, and you can feel as if you witness gladiators battling there thousands of years ago. The art is not that famous, but as I say, the place is about the history and the Vatican makes up for the art part. That being said, Rome to me is TOO touristy. It is also fucking crowded, and tourist places also attract people trying to sell u things, pickpockets etc. Rome's metro system is very primitive, but most modern looking ironically. We also did walk and it was fucking hard. The rain also dampened my morale somewhat but no one can deny that Rome is fucking great. And you do need 3 full days or more to see it properly. I would however recommend it with a whole trip to Italy, with Venice, Pisa, Florence, Naples, Sicily, Pompei. Italy isn't that worth going to for Rome alone.

Venezia (Venice)

Most impressive place: The views of the rivers and canals.

Most Blah place: Wandering around the narrow alleys and getting lost.

Biggest suprise: The island of Burano. Quiet island town with colourful houses.

Cost: Higher than Rome.

Weather: Started to get warm.

Youth Hostel Venice: Only 1 nite there but not impressed with the staff, who were slow, inefficient, and not very polite. The bunks were also indeed bunks. SIXTEEN I think, bedded with all MALES. CCB. Toilets were small with no doors but sheets instead!! Damn!! Anyone interested in Man Ass, go stay there.

Venice got only 1.5 days of love from us. It is cute that we could only travel by boat cos the hostel was on another island, but there are water buses in operation. Travelling took hell of a time, and costed 21 Euros for 36 hours. By comparison, 24 hour passes in Paris cost like 5 or 6 Euros, and 7 pounds in London. FUCK THE WATER BOATS!!!! Worse it, we should not have paid, cos NO ONE checks the tickets.

Anyway, Venice is also a honeymoon dream for many, bcos of the scenic and romantic canals and gondolas. Yes, it truly is, and the gondolas are only like 60 Euro for 30 minutes. Was that the sound of someone puking? Anyway, Venice excels in it being different from other cities, and the ports are nice, the central square is nice, the outer islands like Burano are relaxing and cool. It is however, ultra touristy so be prepared for it. Prices are even higher than Rome man. Venice also produces their own unique stuff like glassware (made to look like anything. ANYTHING), velvet, theatrical clown masks and dresses. Personally, I was a little underwhelmed, partly cos we got lost very often bcos of a lousy map, and bcos u will definitely get lost; and also bcos "a city on water" to me, is a city on water, and not islands surrounded by water, as all islands are supposed to be. Still it is worth going.

To b cont'd..

Go europe

2008-05-10T17:55:00.002+08:00

Going Europe backpacking from today to 16 June. Bye.

Jason

Sad man.

2008-04-29T19:48:00.003+08:00

Cos of exams, my posts are all short and lacking of opinion of my life recently, bcos, when you have exam, you can't have a decent life. Anyway, today I saw something that I ought to write down.

I saw a guy whom I "know" for 7 years since JC, although I have never even spoken a word to him. Well the thing is, since coming to uni, he has been balding. And it is terrible to see I can tell you, so you can imagine what he feels about it. I mean, it is a fucked up thing to have ego, but guys have and will always need their ego. So I really can't say anyone would enjoy being him. I've always wanted to tell him to go Yunnam for hair restoration but I never did.

Today, I realised, other than still being 1/3 bald, he has grown a nice beard for himself. Now, let's get the positives out of the way. He seems to be ok with his appearance, so power to him. And also, since balding makes him look old, so having a beard is like, to me, going with the flow of your image and enhancing your image. So that's all cool.

But honestly, I got to rant man. I mean, I never ever have given a flying fuck about him, but today I can't help but feel sorry for him. A fucking beard ??? I mean, there are a few people who can make a beard look cool, kind of like you can't ever imagine them without it. But for him, I feel bad man, and I am really sorry to say, he just looks old. Not "mid twenties: I am at the peak of my life and starting my career", or "In my thirties and matured into a real man", but his kind of old is "I'm FIFTY years old and my kids are draining my CPF for their university and I have a mid life crisis" It is like Chow Yun Fatt's look, minus Chow's handsome-ness and charm and the ability to have a full head of hair. And he is only HALF the age of what he looks.

I mean, not only am I feeling sorry for someone (it is something I rarely do), it is even someone who I could give 2 shits about. I don't know why, but seeing him age exponentially since coming to uni really makes me pity him man. I mean, I look pretty buang myself sometimes, but this is really rock bottom man. Say what you want about guys not caring about their looks, but there still has to be a limit to our tolerance man.

So guys, the moral is, please take care of your looks. If not people will one day think your girlfriend is your daughter.

KBG

瀏陽河 2008

2008-04-26T12:58:00.005+08:00

Recent MV of song from a singer I like recently, Bibi Chow !!! ^0^

Actually its my previous blog song, so u probably heard it before. LOL. Adapted from a folk song and the remix with the other singer is nice, but what I really like is the MV. Can't really link the lyrics to the story, cos my Chinese sucks, but the MV, although long, has an uncommon (judging by today's standards), yet deceptively simple and touching story. After a while then you will start to understand the story, but it will be worth the wait. The final 1 minute also has the most touching scene I can remember for some time.

Mika video !!

2008-04-23T10:14:00.002+08:00

Well its not the red hot MALE singer Mika, but instead my very own Mika-san again !!!! Here's a video of her from 2001 to the present.. quite nice and thanks to the fan who made it.

I do understand the difficulties and appreciate the making of the video, but from a Mika-san fan to another, I really wish there was a little more. For example, the first 3 plus minutes were about 2001-2002, and I think for a 10 minute video, the back was a little lacking. There wasn't any of her YES album songs for example. Other than that, it was nice being "nostalgic" and seeing her progression in terms of image, music and singing through the years.

After seeing someone have such a beautiful idol, now u know why I wan a daughter called Meijia??

KBG

I am bitter... wua ha ha ..

2008-04-21T19:23:00.004+08:00

I told a new msn friend recently that I am a resentful person in personality, although that does not mean I am a lousy person; bcos those who know me know I am part of a dying breed.. the HAO NAN REN; anyway, I think more and more on this and I am here to talk about it.

I do it partly is because I find I am not good at a lot of things, and this makes me look around at reference groups, communities, and the society around me and attribute things that are bad about me to the outside world. I do think that it is not good, but it is who I am. And to be honest, as objectively as I can, I still judge the world as a fucked up place. Because it is. The red tapes, the bureaucratic-ness of organisations, the elitism, the coporatization of our society, the narrow minded-ness of people, the lack of open communication, the sometimes screwed up and unfair gender norms.. it all goes on.. sometimes I am at fault for mistakes or fucked up things that happen, but at times, I can't help but feel that LIFE'S A BITCH.

I can think of 2 examples that have left me bitter recently. The first is when a contact whom I had already deleted from msn like a lifetime ago suddenly talked to me about my comment on my nick that social workers are underpaid. He felt that as an engineering grad to be, it is 1000000 times more competitive to find a job; and his beef with me was that (he didn't exactly say it, but I am sure he meant it) social workers find jobs so easily, therefore I should just shut up. Well, to be honest, I sympathize with his plight (bcos its a conditioned response, but really if I had a choice, I could give 2 shits about him. Deleting him from msn already shows that XD), but weren't we on the topic of PAY, and not WHETHER U CAN GET A JOB?

Yeah, I get it, u will have the next 3 months of hell going back and forth in interviews but think long term shall we? If I be a social worker and earn $2.2 and u earn $2.7, thats $6000 difference in a year (assuming everything else the same). And since your pay will rise at an exponential rate compared to mine, guess whose kid will have a higher chance of affording Uni, mine or yours? So why the hell are you bitching????

Another example, was that this morning, I just found out that a number of my social work classmates took photo with the president at the SW dinner last week!!! Well, I did say that I didn't really care about meeting the president, but then, if given a chance, and if other people did it, I wouldn't lose out on the opportunity. Well, seeing as that happening group had about 15 people, I would guess that probably 60 or even more of our social work mates did not get the chance.

I can't express it more than with this phrase. CHOW PANG SEH GIAS!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, give me a good reason why you all pangseh us. Why??? U expect me to believe that u all HAPPENED to be taking photos and then president HAPPENED to appear??? He just came out from toilet I suppose??? What would he do doing outside the ballroom??? Where's his posse' ??? I think it was a calculated plan from the beginning, a plan which DID NOT INVOLVE 70% of us !!!

BUT OKIE... EVEN IF HE HAPPENED TO APPEAR, it still doesn't explain why you guys PANGSEH us. I am sure the president sir asked who you all were, and you all said, "NUS social work students." So why didn't anyone ask "where's THE REST???" I understand it was difficult to dig out every or even most of the students, but couldn't someone have gone to make a fucking announcement for all students to come??? Was it too embarrassing??? We are students anyway fuckers!!!

Remember some people said, we social work students are a close knitted and bonded community or something like that? Nope??? Don't remember???? ME NEITHER.

KBG

Another half year wrestling post

2008-04-17T12:04:00.006+08:00

Ric Flair has retired from in ring action. Now, he and Shawn Michaels went at it at WM24 and this is great to talk about bcos there will not be another unique storyline ever like this. It goes like this: Ric is the old veteran who has accomplished everything in 35 years of wrestling, laid the path for 2 generation of performers, and was THE MAN in his prime. But now he is old, can't fight that well ( in storyline ), and its like, people think he should retire cos he is old, and we don't want to see him hurting himself night in and out. The fighter in him knows his time is coming to an end, but bcos of WM24, he wants to have 1 last fight, 1 last great match, and to go off in a blaze of glory. It is captivating and believable cos real life and storyline mirror each other, and we can see that in real life, Ric does want to have 1 last great performance at the biggest stage 1 last time, to show he is still THE MAN.

Enter Shawn Michaels. Ric handpicked him to be the opponent at WM, cos Ric knew Shawn could give him the best fight, and in real life, we know HBK was chosen as Ric's last opponent bcos HBK can perform a great match with anybody. But in the storyline, Shawn declined bcos he didn't want to be blacklisted as "the man who retired the much respected and loved Ric Flair". Now, Ric got offended cos "What makes you think I will definitely lose to you??" Ric wants the fight for his honour, for his last hurrah to the profession. And he wants it not to out of pity or sympathy for his age. He wanted the best match possible. But HBK declines bcos of his loyalty and 20 year friendship to Ric. He declined bcos Ric was the man he idolised his whole life since he was 18, and he couldn't make himself end his mentor's career. Ric pleaded and threatened and irritated, and finally Shawn got pissed and said, "Ok, if you want me, you will get 150% of me at WM." It is a greater love than love; bcos by loving Ric, Shawn decided to step up and to show his love and respect for Ric by promising to give the fight of his life to the old guy.

Come WM, Flair and Michaels went at it. Now, nobody expected Ric Flair to win in this storyline, also since the outcome is predetermined in wrestling, we all knew he was lose the match, since we knew he would retire after WM. But something magical happened. The 60 year old Ric Flair and the 43 year old Shawn Michaels performed a psychology filled, emotionally captivating match. The younger Michaels outclassed the old man in the beginning, but as time went on, we saw HBK HESITATING. Yes, he has a few chances to win, but in storyline terms, he didn't bcos he couldn't force himself to do it. And Flair took advantage by busting out all his signature moves. As time went on, HBK made more mistakes time and again, and Flair became more desperate and did everything he could to win, and why I say the match was magical? BCOS, THE AUDIENCE STARTED TO BELIEVE THAT, MAYBE, RIC FLAIR COULD WIN AFTER ALL. Think about this, just 2 old men in the ring, doing protected moves on each other, with the outcome of the match determined; but yet just 2 people could get a 70000 strong crowd on their feet in hope that Flair could win.

In the end, Flair stumbled and Michaels took advantage. It was then down to 1 last move. And through the last 30 seconds where Flair fought to stand up, and HBK was waiting with the look of absolute regret and unwillingness on his face, Flair told HBK to "do it". HBK mouthed "I'm sorry, I love you." 5 Seconds later, the match was over as HBK fell onto Flair and hugged his fallen body. AWESOME. The best 30 seconds of storytelling in wrestling since forever.

Great.

KBG

Social Work is Woooo~~

2008-04-16T00:08:00.002+08:00

Great Sw day dinner. President came. Took some photos. Saw people. Saw more people. Good time. Great spirits. They show why social workers are a profession like no other.

Social workers rock your world man. Seriously. THEY ARE THE SHIT.

So appreciate them while you can, for example with even more pay.

WOO

KBG

Unfortunately..

2008-04-08T14:51:00.007+08:00

Unfortunately, I am not feeling too happy.

Someone responded to something I said and the response is really not to my preference. I don't want to start a conflict with the person so I will avoid explaining what happened, just like how I avoided showing I was not happy at that time.

I am always the one on the losing end I feel. Maybe cos I say dumb things and things that people don't want to hear, but I do it for reasons that are truly justifiable. I am just trying to get out of the stalemate, but everytime I try, I just keep knocking into a wall.

At the end, it shows I am concerned about important things, but things always stop at a "....", or a "lol" or just simply, "no".

I just feel that I am the one who does most of the 迁就. Sometimes I think, why do I think so much when no one else cares what I am thinking.

I truly am JUST ANOTHER GUY.

KBG

2 great songs Part 1

2008-04-07T19:57:00.002+08:00

This is the first song of 2 great songs, and here it is. Very hot song recently, Yang Chong, by Yang Zhong Wei

如果你眼神能够为我
片刻的降临
如果你能听到
心碎的声音
沉默的守护著你
沉默的等奇迹
沉默的让自己
像是空气
大家都吃著聊著笑著
今晚多开心
最角落里的我
笑得多合群
盘底的洋葱像我
永远是调味品
偷偷的看著你
偷偷的隐藏著自己
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑
最深处的秘密
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我
看到我的全心全意

听你说你和你的他们
暧昧的空气
我和我的绝望
装得很风趣
我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒
专属的剧情

After hearing it, and seeing the lyrics, why is it so great? Not bcos it sounds nice, and not bcos Mr Yang is a phenomenal singer. The song actually brings out a theme which I am sure many guys can connect to; being in the presence of someone they love, but just being a shadow in the crowd.
The song tells the tale of a guy who doesn't seem like a guy. I mean, guys should be taking initiative rite? Should be brave rite? Tell the girl u want her rite? What's the point of just making self invisible and then hoping that the girl will see u for who u are and like u? Why don't u go and show the girl what is so great about u then rite? I mean, a song like this, should be about a girl who wants a guy to take initiative rite, and not the opposite??

Whether it is right or wrong I won't say, but the song actually is reflecting the kind of behaviors and situations that guys nowadays are finding themselves in. U may say that the guy has to take initiative, BUT BUT BUT we have to understand one thing. As much as guys are changing in our society, the change is also bcos girls are changing.

Guys like the guy in the song are facing such situations bcos, girls in our society are changing. Girls may say, they want guys who are more understanding, more emphatic, more careful, more sensitive; but when guys are like this, they do become less able to take initiative. MAKES SENSE? I think so.

In fact, as a girl in SINGAPORE INC, u don't even to get married if u don't want. U don't need men at all!!! So if a guy can't ACT well enough to impress u, why the fuck would u want him?? But the ones who ACT, aren't really the ones girls say they need. So if a poor nice guy likes u, he will get overshadowed by the rest of the poser guys, the ego guys, the wayang guys. Ironically, girls get attracted to such guys, and ignore the ones who are the really caring ones.

Not forgetting, that girls generally are still anal in terms of wanting the guy to take initiative. Yup, no matter how outgoing, how ON, how cool a girl seems, they are still affected by the princess fairytales in their childhood who say that the prince charming will come if they wait long enough. So they are waiting for that nice guy, who is also waiting for them too!!

I really think this kind of an issue is very cute, but of cos sad in a way, bcos people always like to waste their chances like this. I should know.

KBG

=_=

2008-04-06T21:13:00.002+08:00

Another beautiful week has passed.

Monday went to buy Huiyi's present with Wei n Kit. Good times as we walked very long and put in a lot of effort ~~ lol. In NA City, apparently the SPore fashion festival by Dior is starting cos saw a very big tentage and stages there, as well as fucking Ang Moh Models walking around that area !! Woo~~ Another cute thing was that someone pasted a long note worth 4 A4 pages long at the Far East Bus stop. And it was in English n Chinese !!! I couldn't read the English one cos it was pasted at squatting level, but I did read the Chinese one, and seeing that there was already policemen there at the site, you would think that Mas Selamat wrote some stuff to taunt the PAP or something. Turns out it is not. Someone wrote a very long essay about.......... the end of the world, and that machines have little viruses that are causing the tragedies that humankind faced. With all the superior intellect of humans, the essay argued, how come our modern society has descended into such violent loving, war torn places? And it is the fault of the alien devices in these devices we use everyday, that emitt ultrasonic waves that control our minds. -_- . I'll leave u to decide if a genius or a fool wrote this.

On tuesday, nothing much, but I did go for my run as planned. And I'll take baby steps first with regards to regaining fitness. And no MAN ASS this week in the toilet !! Woo...

Wed was slightly better as the 3214 had a fun discussion. Well Dr Lee is Dr Lee la, so everyone smoked their way thru presenting role plays lol ... ! If Dr Sim was around... no way man .. ! And Weitao asked me at the end, who is T.F I was telling him about?? Well, T.F is the code name of a chio bu in the class, and who I think can be good friends with him. lol. Jason 's Matchmaker pte ltd. Woo..

I did feel fucked up that we did not get to progress in the 1003 project. We met to talk about what we wanted to do.. and not actually.. u knw... DO IT!! And so... I told myself.. we will be dead on Thursday. (Report n Presentation due on Friday 0900)

As Thursday came, as expected, we were fucked. When I walked with Ting to the bus stop to "see her home", I should have hopped on the bus as well and went home. Because by staying, I proceeded to spend 1 of the most torturing 6 hours ever!!!! God, words can't describe how hellacious doing all that crap was. Let's just say that it is the equivalent of being roasted in multiple kinds of hells of multiple faiths and religions. ONE AFTER ANOTHER. And we still did not avoid the fate of last minute work. Wait, scrape that. LAST SECOND WORK. Scrape that again. OVERSHOT THE DEADLINE WORK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck this man !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's just say the lesson is: do not choose foreigners and do not choose fucked up team mates.

As friday came, after the presentation from hell, and finally getting rid of all of those parasites who claim to be groupmates, I finally reached my mental health class, a tired person. Well 2 suprises here. 1 is Vincent Ng came to lecture, and he does have humour genes. 2 is someone called me yandao. And I choose to believe it is genuine. So... first time in a long time this has happened.. haha. Guess only yandaos and chio bus can understand and appreciate each other. lol.

Cheers

KBG

A weekend of Men Ass

2008-03-29T21:33:00.005+08:00

Another boring week, and out of the few things that happened, I will touch on this most important thing. .

2 days of using the free sports facilities in school have resulted in 2 days of using the male changing room, which has resulted in seeing 2 days of MEN ASS and 2 days of MEN'S PRIVATES.. oh, and oh.. it is such an out of this world feeling man... feeling of absolute fucking CB KNNB DISGUST.. PUIPUIPUIPUIPUIPUIPUIPUI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EYES !!! MY EYES!!!

The good thing is I got 2 exercise 2 days in a row.. but at this price??? Do u know on friday, that the 1st thing I saw when I entered a swimming pool changing room after, what 2 years, was to see a bare male's butt, which was whitish by the way .. ??!! And I proceeded to see no less than 5 or 6 similar "physical specimens" on friday, AND today!!!

WHY must men be NAKED in changing rooms??? WHY must the toilets encourage this by having OPEN SPACED SHOWER AREAS!!??? WHY doesn't anyone except me use the beautiful cubicles with closed doors??? WHY DO THESE MEN ENJOY SHOWING OFF THEIR FUCKING UGLY "ASSESTS" TO OTHERS????

U know why? Cos men are disgusting creatures. Pure and simple. Just bcos they do not mind cheapening themselves by showing their ugly things to others, doesn't mean people want to, need to, and enjoy seeing them!!! It isn't so bad if Brad Pitt, Colin Farrell and David Beckham were in the house, or Andy Lau, Takeshi Kaneshiro, or the Soler Twins, but the Singapore men in this particular school who use these particular changing rooms are guys with recruit haircuts, bulging tummies, hairy bodies, and barbequed skin. And they just parade around with stuff... ahem.. dangling around.. like it is their own house!! What the fuck is wrong with them??????

Isit bcos in this beautiful society which prides itself on being first world, but yet people still are a lot less open minded than they should be; that men here need to resort to exposing themselves to other men just to inflate their ego a bit, bcos Singapore girls aren't giving them the chance to?? If so, then fuck them !!!! DISGUSTING FUCKS. If u need to feel like a man, go do it at home. Film your own porn show, photoshop your ass size, do a strip tease with ur G-String in front of your own mirror, WHATEVER... just don't do it in public places !!! It is disgusting and uncivilised !!!!

Probably by now someone is thinking... what a p@@@y .. everybody is a guy what.. see then see la... yadayadayada... but the fact of the matter is.. this is me. I feel disgusted. And if u don't knw, disgust is 1 of the primary emotions that all animals have !! Disgust protects u against danger, bcos disgust happens when u perceive something as so.... YUCKS... that u need to avoid it for your own wellbeing.. !

We had to endure man ass in BMT, but now is now.. and I do not appreciate seeing disgusting things in a bathroom, which ironically is a place which is supposed to emphasize HYGIENE. I am 99% sure that females don't do go around naked in their changing room (intelligent guess, I have never been in one obviously) , so why the fuck must men do it!!!! There are cubicles with doors, I repeat.. so use them !!! Or at least wrap a damn towel and wear your pants through them. If u don't knw, I can teach you !!!

God... 2 days of memories of man ass, is good enough to last me TWO LIFETIMES. I definitely do not want to see another MAN ASS till the day I die, and until the next life when I die.

FUCK THIS SHIT !

KBG

Fuck count: 8
( It has returned !! = D )

THE Sexy Beast is Back

2008-03-26T21:35:00.004+08:00

Ever since late in 2006, this is the first time ever I have had short hair!!! Yes... here are random thoughts..

First, I must say that I have never trusted hairdressers. They never satisfy what I want in a hairstyle. This time was no different as I got a real short back and very thick fringe. Well of cos, I am Jason after all and I will make this amount of hair work.. but I just hate it when the hairdresser can't get the meaning of "collar length" despite me wearing a collared shirt..

All this while, what I have not appreciated is the kind of reactions I gotten from certain people. Most people are kind in words, but 1 and 3/4 years is a very long time, and I have definitely met many people who I would describe as STUPID and NARROW MINDED. People who judge others based on, of all things, appearance. Wonder how they can survive in this globalised world if they cannot learn to accept and respect people who are different.

Regardless, I have decided to revert back to shorter hair bcos have to apply for job soon and stuff.. and all I can say about that is LIFE'S A BITCH. But its cool.. cos it is time for a change anyway.. and this is what I want to focus on. To become cool even with my new anime-like yucky hairstyle.. !!

Yeah baby... bcos from this day on.. I AM BRINGING SEXY BACK TO NUS MAN !!!!! So all the guys.. watch out.. cos u all will fall 1 ranking in the "guys attractiveness chart !" and girls.. take notice.. BCOS THE SEXY BEAST IS BACK !!!!

KBG

-_-

2008-03-21T23:53:00.003+08:00

Boring boring life.. here's some stuff that made it less boring recently.

My presentation for 3201 went well.. but cock up cos had to do major changes just before the tutorial.. I was thinking to myself the night b4: what kind of group will make major changes just minutes before the actual presentation... ? Thankfully it went ok as I said, altho I have no idea why William would want to show a 4 min clip in the 15 min presentation, causing us to go GPMG speed in presenting the 40+ slides in the last 11 minutes, and by the way, which we clocked 22 mintues in total even.. peng.

I also come up with a new nick: HAO NAN REN, meaning good guy, or nice guy. It is of cos not a compliment to myself cos NICE GUYS FINISH LAST. Yup.. meaning that some people just like guys who are haughty, egoistic, sexist, show-ing off, and not those that are gentleman, supportive, understanding, attentive, sensitive.. Where was I ??? lol.. Oh ya.. I also plan on asking various people what they think of me as a Hao nan ren.. for curiousity of cos.. and I want to say first.. if u are reading this, and I happen to ask you... DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT NOT NOT NOT answer with something along these lines: "What is a hao nan ren is quite subjective; what is hao to u, may not be hao to others u know, so it is really hard to say if 1 person is a hao nan ren or not, because it depends from person to person." Also, do not answer with things that are similar to "LOL", "Haha", "ok..", or "..." Cos seriously, it is a question that requires a more relational and emotional answer.. meaning it is asking what u would think of me as a person.. so everyone, please do not try to be too rational or smoke your way.. I will be pissed.. U are warned.. MUA HA HA HA..

Yesterday I decided to go to medical library and find books on occupational therapy and doctors, but not too successful. I do need to say, the people who designed the location of the medical library are either geniuses or idiots. If they were using Chinese astrology knowledge and basing their calculations on the five elements as shown below, then they are geniuses.

The problem is, I believe they designed the whole placement of buildings based on something else. Their own fucking retarded brains. Why the hell is that? Because the purpose of designing an environment is such that when unfamiliar people go there, THEY WON'T GET LOST!!! The thing is, I recently also found that the government likes to do this in designing of HDB estates. Its like you can't possibly follow any sort of arithmetic or geometric patterns in finding buildings with numbers, similar to the medical library situation.. They can put MD1 and MD4 side by side, and MD3 behind SR4, which is next to SR6, which is across the road from MD6.. WHAT THE FUCK!!!

At a friend's encouragement, I am thinking of corresponding with Kelly (Molester-girl from Taiwan) through mail.. yes I am also thinking of that with Christina.. yeah.. a guy has to keep options open man.. but anyway, back to Kelly. Yeah.. I do like hearing that she has a good impression of me.. lol.. and yeah... I think keeping the relationship would not be a bad thing.. so I will try to send some stuff over.. woo~~

What else can I say.. something not so good is that I suddenly received a mail from Dr Ng asking to meet.. it is fuck bcos I know what it is about.. but why wasn't it last year after placement.. or even before going HK, or after just coming back from HK? Why now.. like 9 weeks already in the semester, and somemore she sees me every week.. why now she wants to talk to me about issues from LAST YEAR..?? I really don't have a good feeling about this man.

Good friday period.. but will have project meetings all around.. just had 2 today. Not bad.. but not productive. But thinking of tmr's meeting is worst. Cos at least today I got to meet chio bu.. but tmr.. it is the meeting of the MARKETING PROJECT MATES STRAIGHT FROM THE DEPTHS OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE, ALL THROUGH THE 18 LEVELS OF DOOM-NATIOUS, DOOM-TATONIC, DOOM-BIOUS, DOOM-MALITALISTIC, ............................................ HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah.. totally. I meant for 1 of the guys, I last received a reply for anything like 2 weeks ago.. heard from another that his email can't receive. Yeah.. I guess he is magneto or something cos apparently, he probably can't receive sms cos he never replied sms even. Well he better buck up.. IF NOT, he better pray that he gives his soul to his God, so at least something will be salvaged bcos his ass will belong to me. =D

And as I always end with nicer things.. I was on the train back one of the days.. and I saw a chio bu... yes... and the thing is, she knew I was looking at her and she didn't respond negatively. She kept doing some poses, and occasionally glanced at me with semi-seductive looks. I am not judging anything.. but the fact is, she was at least accepting of the fact that she is beautiful and she will attract looks.. I point this out bcos it is a fact that girls are conditioned to be wary of ji ko peks, but at the same time, THEY WANT PEOPLE TO LOOK AT THEM. I mean, if this is not true, then what is the multi infinity zillion beauty product industries for??? Smell the contradiction here? So what I am cool about is that this girl accepts that she looks at herself only 1% of the time that everyone else outside looks at her. So if someone thinks she is beautiful.. THAT IS A GOOD THING. Unless many other people.. look a bit then they think u pervert or what.. fuck off man..

KBG

Diary of a lecturer

2008-03-19T13:25:00.004+08:00

19 March 2008, 2300 hours

Mood: XD

Yes, I had a great day today, but something also happened. A group of students asked for my help for one of my modules. Well, they are supposed to find companies to interview but they CLAIM they can't find and so they ask me for advice and help.

Oh.. what can I say, these kids are brats man. Little bit ask for help. Cannot find company with 2 weeks left.. big deal.. oh my god.. oh.. the world is crashing.. Fuck those students man. So kan jiong for what.. so kan jiong then should call all the companies in Singapore la. they only call 100, big deal.. if I am them, wait till left 2 days then find me what.

Maybe by then, 1 company reply, then they still have 2 days to do it what.. interview only take 1 hour, travelling 2 hour, discuss 3 hour, write report and plan presentation 5 hour.. total is 11 hour. 2 days got 48 hours.. of cos there is time. See I am so good at time managment for others even.. which is why I have the Phd. and not them.

Even if they can't find by then, then they are free to email me with no material ready and with 2 days left. Of cos there is still time. Let me explain why: I will take 1 working day to reply them,
and even though it takes 2 second for the email to be send to my mailbox, because I am the lecturer, so I am DUA PAI, so I can waste their time because it is not my time anyway. Where was I? Oh ya, then by the time I reply, they will be so despo that anything I say goes.. so I will say, :actually need interview, but since u have 1 day left, I will be kind and let u all off and u can just do online research and whatever. " And then, they will have no choice but to slog the whole night to rush a half fuck presentation. But that is not my problem. I have "helped" them. See what a genius I am ??? That is why I am the lecturer and they are not.

Seriously man, these brats, such small things also want to disturb me. They think that I owe them everything. Fuck them, I owe them nothing.. my job is so difficult. I need to do is talk off the powerpoint slides for 1.5 hours a week to these group of brats. I need to put a fierce face so that no one will ask me questions I can't answer. I need to think of answers that are politically correct and diplomatic while satisfying them without giving them the right answer, bcos if I tell them everything, then I have no value already. And worse still, I have to entertain lazy people like this group who send me unnecessary emails. My inbox is for asking fellow staff to decide where to go buffet on friday evening, or what time to knock off early to avoid the traffic jam. Not to answer some childish questions.

That is the problem with them. They think they pay $6000+ a year then they are big fuck. 6000 only.. I am paid twice this amount in a month man. Comeon, they say they pay the school fees, so they are paying my salary?? FUCK THEM. MY SALARY IS PAID BY MOE U BITCHES.
Oh but in counter arguing, they think they are so smart by thinking that the $ their parents pay taxes that go to government that goes to MOE, so actually they are paying me indirectly?? FUCK THEM!! If they are so smart then they will be the ones earning my salary and not "paying" it..

Man.. fuck them man.. forget it, I should sign off and go think about where to go for my holiday and not be thinking of some dumb kids.

Good nite to me !! :D

Prof XXX

Where it all begins.. again

2008-03-18T20:54:00.003+08:00

My dad always say, life is fair. U will gain something, but u can lose also. Its the same analogy as u are born with nothing, and u go into the coffin with nothing also. I will illustrate this with what happened to me today.

On the bus in the morning, I was just stoning around and sighing that there aren't many chio bu around. Now, its not that people are ugly; because girls are dressing up, make up blah blah at my age. So they look "nice". BUT THE FACT IS, like the bad guy said in "Incredibles", "If everyone is a super, then no one is anymore." So the fact is, although every Jane and Mary is trying to look nice, and they are doing a decent job, 90% of them LOOK LIKE JUST EVERYONE ELSE.

So as fate would have it, suddenly a girl came on the bus. I must say, I have never felt that someone is so attractive for a long time man. And what makes her attractive is she doesn't look like everyone else. She has a unique look, unique hairstyle, unique aura, unique dressing, and although there is a kind of fashion style for this kind of people which if you know me, you can probably guess it, but the fact is, she is suitable for this style. Anyway, she looks so beautiful to me, and therefore I was in a gooooooooooooood mood.

Well, as fate will have it, I didn't have very long to enjoy my good mood because I met 2 friends. Well, because I didn't see them for some time, we talked a while. Well, to cut to the point, one of them said "Jason u look very ## now". So I know that I don't look ##, but I thought he was being serious, because ## has been said to me many times, so I just was being humble and honest and said, "no la, I am now %%. " Well, the other guy then said, "of cos u are %% la, he was only saying just to be friendly" The other guy then said, "ya la, being friendly only ah". And then we all have a good LOL LOL LOL LOL time together.

Well, the bad thing is, LOL is a conditioned response to any awkward situation. In actual fact, I was rather PISSED. U may think there is no problem, cos Boy 1 was trying to be "friendly". Well, read carefully and u will know that he wanted to say "%%" but tried to be friendly and say "##". I have to ask, WHY IN THE FUCK WILL U WANT TO SAY SOMETHING THAT MEANS THAT SOMEONE IS %%???????? There was no context to say it. He just said it cos he felt like saying it.

I can tell u now that %% carries the same important as your height, your face, your complexion, your skin, your penis size etc. It is none of them, but it is an indicator of attractiveness in our society. So it is as good as saying, "Hey u are ugly u know?" "Hey u are a dwarf u know?" "Hey why your face so many pimples?" WHY THE FUCK SHOULD YOU EVER SAY THAT??? And even if u said it in a "friendly" way, WHY THE FUCK MUST U ADMIT THE REAL MEANING!!!??

I am not makin a fuss, because as a person I am brought up not to be greedy for praise, for rewards. I trusted him as a friend, and I was under the impression that he was really saying something nice and meaning it. That is why I admitted I am %% myself, because I want to be humble. And this is what happens. People abuse my trust and actually say something that insults me. Yes saying someone is %% is a real insult man. Ya they "may not mean it", but who cares?? I feel they are being fuckers and what I feel matters now.

So therefore, something good and bad happens. So life is fair.

Result of boredom

2008-03-14T19:35:00.004+08:00

One of my 178 friends in facebook who happens to be in the group of 150 who are not my real friends decided to do a 200 question quiz on herself. I therefore shall answer some of the questions because I am, as well, bored with life.

I am allergic to: dirt, crowds, noise.

I am annoyed by: lack of ventilation, humid weather, people who can't respect differences in others.

Last book you read: Count of Monte Cristo (one of my Sec sch lit text)
(NON SCHOOL RELATED)

One thing you hate about yourself: can't learn to care for others more

The perfect kiss is: silent, saliva filled, and lastes 3 seconds.

The last cd i bought was: Meijia's "Love My Joy" Concert Dvd !!

Do u believe in luck: Bcos of the various lousy projects and project mates encountered, the answer is YES!! FUCK THEM!

Do u believe in fate: Of cos !!

Do u believe in aliens: 4556767890544566 planets in the universe. U say leh?

Do u believe in ghosts: Of cos, people don't just disappear when they die. I believe they will be still around in some form.

Do u believe in soulmates: Trying to believe in it.

Do u like hot or cold: Fucked up question. Both suck but hot wins.

Do u like spring or fall: FALL !

Do u like orange or apple: I hate oranges.

Do u like curly or straight hair: On myself is straight la. On girls, preferably straight too. But depends on every individual. Chio bu with any hairstyle is still chio one.

What do you think of abortion: Ideally not. BUT if u can't support the kid and can't pass the burden to others, then don't give birth to it lor. I just don't believe in the "unborn kid is still a life". If the child will suffer, why give birth to it? How many times have we heard people scream in dramas: "I wish u never gave birth to me!"

What do you think of backstabbers: I will be a cockstabber to them.

What do you think parents: They rule.

Last time I hugged someone: in my dream last nite.

Who makes you laugh: Booker T and Goldust's old videos.

What you don't understand: GIRLS, why the writer's strike even happened, why Jeff Hardy decided to be busted for drugs, GIRLS, why can't Social work pay be increased sooner and more, GIRLS, why I can't lose weight, GIRLS.

The thing I'm looking forward to the most is: meeting someone who understands me.

The one person who I can't hide things from: Dr Sim and his magic secret lecture activity of secrets. All the crack addicts, experts on attempting suicide, lesbians, criminals all gave themselves away.

What is your dream job?: So many.. sing, work for UN, open AV business in Japan, be a wrestler..

I wish: people would be more direct about how they judge things. Want say want. Like say like.

Best sound in the world?: Zhong Dao Meijia's voice.

Future best sound in the world?: My daughter Meijia's voice !!! ~~

My favorite piece of clothing?: My translucent Thong !! ~~

The all-time best feeling in the world is: feeling of sex?

I lose all respect for people who: disrespect others who are different from them.

Best Feature(s) in the opposite sex: Physical appearance la. If not, then the global multi Trillion $$ Women product industries are cheating their $$ rite.

The worst pain I was ever in was: extreme loneliness.

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?: Cos I can't control what happens in my dreams.

One thing that makes you feel great is: doing what I want and say fuck the world.

One person that you wish you could see right now: Say if I am dying in 2 seconds, the answer will be...... read my posts carefully to find out.

KBG

>_<

2008-03-08T19:07:00.004+08:00

Let's try to talk about some stuff.. nothing much really.. but just to fill up space.

Finally settled 2 STUPID projects this week... actually the counselling paper is not stupid.. it is really difficult bcos there was no clear questions or arguments we are asked to make.. but at least a good thing is that everyone will have different approaches and views, so maybe can still score if the arguments are unique enough or special enough.

Also settled the vanguard presentation on tues which I did almost nothing.. ps.. but it is also stupid cos its not officially worth any marks, and almost has no big help to the final project. Writing about this now, can still remember when we were deciding on who to actually write the words on the vanguard and all 3 guys looked at Jasmine. Since there are things that guys always have to do, like becoming project leaders, giving up seats, fatigue work, "taking the initiative" and more; then there are also things that girls have to do then. Bcos girls are "neat", "tidy", "good handwriting".. so sorry ah Jasmine. All I can say is LIFE's A BITCH.

On wednesday after passing the report, had to see the new 3214 lecturer Dr Lee. I must say he is not bad in his own way, much better than I expected that is sure.. but there is just something a lot more in Dr Sim. The CBT so far is ok, and maybe I will like it a lot more than PCC bcos it SEEMS more structured, more technical, and more focus on problem solving.

Another thing I suddenly felt in class is just that, towards a certain friend, "I really don't know". Maybe this applies to all true friends (aka not 90% of those people in facebook), but what determines the level of friendship n importance I am to them? How come with some people, they can be so happy, so high, so having fun; but with me, it seems I can't make them happy. If they can also be high, be so happy, smile so much with even the project mates behind that they barely know , then what is these few years of friendship about? Maybe is it that, with different kinds of good friends, maybe we will behave differently? Maybe we can't joke with each other but doesn't mean we don't care?? I really don't know.

Thursday was lifeskills group.. not bad.. got another a little bit cute girl who joined.. but of cos it is also not bad bcos of the session la.. In the clas is a guy called Ti-Har, which I am sure is his real name; if not he will be the third person who gives himself unusual names, like Eurrigan (LOTR fan?) from HK and Sky Viper (transformers fan?). He could be a Star Wars Fan though and give himself a Wookie name :D Anyway, Ti-Har suprised me a lot by showing a lot of wisdom in talking about interpersonal relating, and some of it is actually social work knowledge.. and of cos for a non sw person to actually be enlightened enough to know and talk as if he is an expert on the importance of listening, attending, empathy, is a huge thing indeed. Met a not too happy Ah Ting after that to go back, and I decided to do something about the delay in waiting. It is really not nice to make people wait for so long.. =(

Friday was slack, but handed up the other stupid assignment for MKT1003 and seriously, my projects suck. Other people's individual projects get to talk about consumer behavior which is right down my alley cos I used to like psychology, while I get to write about segmentation. For group project, people get to just interview 2 consumers of a certain product, and talk about why they make different choices and have different buying process. What do we get? INTERVIEW MARKETING MANAGERS TO FIND OUT ADVERTISING STRATEGY!! People can just ask their father why they decided to buy Toyota and not Honda, or maybe even use common sense to explain why a 50 year old man with 3 kids would want a Toyota and we are already having to send letters to major manufacturing companies to BEG them to talk to us !! FUCK THIS SHIT MAN!!!! SERIOUSLY, LIFE'S A BITCH.

As for just now, went to do field research and lady luck had it to be the place where the CROWDS OF DOOM were, bcos the whatever IT fair is in suntec!! Hurray!! So many people jamming the walkways!! Yay!! We can knock into each other!! WOO!! We can smell each other's body odour!! FUCK THIS SHIT. This does show 2 things. 1) Singapore is too crowded. 2) People are too dependent on the power of IT. Man..

KBG

Mid Sem Break

2008-03-02T19:04:00.002+08:00

Update abt this week..

This is carried over from last week but a very unwelcome person came from HK to stay in our house and left only on Thursday. This is a "relative" that according to her, came here for transit for a short while, and actually is no stranger bcos she came TWENTY YEARS AGO. Well, my parents, thinking to see her for a while for wayang purposes, met her on the hotel lobby with all her barang barang ready to stay with us. So too bad, she got to save on hotel cost for 7 days. What kind of person will just COME AFTER TWENTY YEARS, INTEND TO STAY WITH PEOPLE W/O ASKING, AND JUST COME W/O LETTING PEOPLE KNOW? Sucks rite.. I mean, my grandma was sick in hospital even, and with my dad at work, my poor mum had to rush here and there, and even find a lot of time to entertain this woman, and bring her out. See the inconvenience she caused? And the worst thing is that, she even said at some point, "I really don't like to visit relatives overseas bcos it will bring trouble to them." The Fuck???

I went IMH twice (wake up early twice), this week, for field assignment. Quite Fei to be honest. The second meeting is the official Fei one, just to hear about what IMH does and tour the place, which helps like very little in the actual report. First one is to observe the MDT meeting. Now I was quite disappointed bcos even though my old hospice gave me a shit placement grade, they are a very efficient team of people. Compared to the meetings at IMH; I mean, it is so disorganised to me, with members of the team not being involved in all cases, people just whispering to each other w/o telling other members about their intervention plans, and the whole time, only the 2 doctors talked. Maybe it works in their setting, but I really think it is underwhelming.

Doris, YJ, and Melissa returned from Malaysia, and our final meeting was in CT for dinner n then go Merlion to take pics and then go CQ for talk talk. Good times throughout this day and the last 2 days last week, and it has really been a great time seeing Doris again, and YJ too. Mark came to join also and all in all, I want to say, it was a good closure to our HK relationship. Well, think closure is a special term cos at our age, we think that people we know will always be close by or just somewhere in Singapore, but when faced with overseas friendships, and people who u may NEVER see again, closure becomes necessary. But then, just a few words to them; for Doris: Think its been a long time since we first met at Canto Class, and from then on, we all became in this group of friends. Doris is such a nice girl, and all the best to her. As for YJ, I will tell her myself, but really a waste that I didn't meet her earlier; and it has nothing to do with the fact that she is the only girl willing to molest me.. XD

Lastly, had to rush to go see Breadtalk Senior VP for MKT1003. Was not happy at first cos they actually cancelled the meeting on Thursday a week ago and then on Thursday morning say, "pls come on 3 pm." Oh well, no choice.. people is VP and we should be grateful la for the help. Quite pissed at 1 of my groupmates for not opening the phone from 9am to 2pm. So in the end, me and another guy went, and that guy came in cheap clothes despite asking me if need to wear more formal. Luckily Breadtalk Uncle was very nice to us, although some questions he tried to answer in general ways. But at least we will still try to Xian it la.

Oh sorry.. LASTLY, meet up with Ah Ting on yesterday. Good to hear she got an interview already, and hope she gets it.

KBG

^0^

2008-02-25T12:11:00.002+08:00

Not really into the Acd awards this year, but just want to give a shoutout to the small independent movie ONCE for winning Best Song for FALLING SLOWLY. I talked about this about a year ago and still have not seen the movie, bcos it is hard to find, but I am really overjoyed that it got nominated and even beat the odds to win over big glamorous compositions from Enchanted. It did also win the Grammy for Best Song, and get critical acclaims from legends like Steven Spielberg, but this is really the ultimate honour.

I think it is a beautiful little show even though I have not watched it, but the song alone symbolizes everything I think the show is about, love, hope, faith, fate, and to believe. And for a show that costed only 200 grand to make and 3 weeks to film, I think that it not only managed to gain a cult following, but to get its name in the list of the elite of film making, and to be announced after Best Actress Award, it is really a big achievement. For an independent movie that did not make it to mainstream as much as Little Miss Sunshine or Juno, this is HUGE.

I think everywhere, there will be others like me who want the LITTLE ONES to succeed in the land of giants. Everyone loves an underdog. In NBA, I cheered when the Warriors upsetted the Top Seed Mavericks in the playoffs, or when Federer lost to Dokovic. This is life I guess, bcos the small underdogs represent us normal people in a way, compared to the all mighty favorites. A very congrats to Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova.

KBG

Shoutout

2008-02-23T11:16:00.002+08:00

Seeing as I am leaving the school sooner than later, and that I likely will be beginning my professional life, just want to say something.

I likely will not make SW my professional career, or even attempt it at all, although I should always be involved in social welfare and services and development in some form. I can't see myself doing much else, even though if I could have another choice 2.5 years ago, I would have chosen to be in accounting or business related stuff, but at this point, looking at my own context, I can't say I regret anything.

But enough abt me. A reason why I am glad for my time in the course, is party due to the wonderful people I meet. There is always something to say about the character of people in SW; and we are always stigmatized as being pure of heart, and can live on oxygen alone. We seem to be perceived as the nicest people on this planet, who would save their own enemies from harm.
The truth is not the case. We are not PURE FLAWLESS people, but we sure as hell are EXTREMELY GOOD people. And this is something I am thankful for; for meeting such people.

In 2 years in SW, I know that the people there are NOT ALL NICE. I have been ignored before, I have been treated not in a friendly way before; classmates who are not friends do not always hang out, and treat each other as strangers outside class.

This is life. We have to accept SW people are not perfect. There are classmates who I will not hang out with and who are not pleasant people. However, I have NEVER seen any classmate being unfairly biased towards another, or being judgemental of people; I have never seen people who perceive themselves as above others, or people who look down on others.

To me, this is what we as SW people are about. This is definitely untrue of other people in other fields, because somehow, there are quite shitty people out there. There are people who think they are above others because of $$, occupational status, intelligence and many factors all the way to race, age and gender.

In SW, we may not like each other, but we have a deep appreciation and respect for each person.
In the real world, nahhhhhh.... $$ is the only language. U see, I devised this train of thought. In the Coporate World, there are many competitors for limited things like promotions, contracts, recognition. There has to be winners and losers. It would be ok like this, but u see, when there are winners and losers, then the winners will see themselves as a success and see the losers as ... LOSERS. And when u are seen as a loser, it means u suck. And if u suck, it means u are not worthy of any respect until u prove otherwise. The thing is, once u are branded as a loser, people will automatically see u as lower than others. In theory u can prove yourself, but POLITICS and the STUPIDITY and NARROW MINDED people in many places will unsure that the winners will always be winners and losers will always be losers. And in the end, losers are only there for the winners to look good.

That is why I respect my SW class peers for being people with the wisdom to not be engaged in such retarded thinkings. In the $$ world, this is probably necessary for survival, but because we have a human-centered perspective, and not a $$ centered one, we realise that we can't be biased, and we can't be judgemental of others and disrespectful.

Both perspectives work in their own fields, but your professional self is overlapped with your personal self. When we translate such values over to our own lives, where we deal with relationships and people, then I am sure the answer is clear on which is better.

moody wednesday

2008-02-21T10:21:00.002+08:00

Today is a day where many moods and emotions were seen and elicited. There was a talk among friends in the afternoon, where we got to see some side probably about each other that we never seen, and hear things that were never said. We also came away with something to think about and things to ask ourselves.

During 3214, the 1st big shit was that I became the lab rat today. It just seems so fated, u knw, like I "happen" to be the last and biggest lab rat in the last lecture by Idol Sim for this module.
And in a way, I can see myself reaching out to create this part of my own fate.. bcos I more or less volunteered myself, bcos I know I wasn't supposed to be there as I won someone in lom jiam pass during the selection of the lab rat, but I just didn't leave my seat for some reason till there was no one left. It seems 2008 is the year where I reach out and try to put myself into so many things, like group work, therapy, student events, showing people around singapore, though not necessarily with successful results.

I must say I tried as hard as I could in this context of being scrutinized by others, and can't help but feel very disappointed and guilty that I didn't know things I should have done. Especially since losing face in a class with important people and good friends is not my idea of a good day.

This led to the 2nd big shit as slight sadness trickled in, as Idol Sim declared his soon departure from our sch and country. I can't help but notice that after all, Idol still has an important significance to me, bcos now that he is leaving, there is a sense of sadness and emptyness. However, I still can't help but feel happy and comforted for him bcos he is going to continue his passion in another country. And I can't help but feel inspired by him too, as even at his level of distinction, he is still improving himself and going for what he wants; and I should too, whether or not I step into the field, I need to become better.

After lesson, I decided to do some unwinding and went down to Party World~ in Clarke Quay. A different feeling of freedom and non worries entered me as I walked down the big maze of buildings and seeing people just having the time of their lives. This may not be Xin Tian Di or Lan Kwai Fung, but the place has a special feel to it, and u don't feel as if u are in SingaBORE. Had some time, talked to MO about stuff, and then saw tourists taking the Gmax Bungy thing.

Went home feeling a lot of stuff..

KBG

Happy Birthday Meijia !

2008-02-19T14:01:00.001+08:00

Welcome to 19/02, the birthday of the most beautiful woman alive.. MEIJIA!!!!

HAppy birthday Meijia.. may u be beautiful, talented and always be happy.. and the streak is still on as I am still going to name my daughter after u.

Love U !

KBG

Short note

2008-02-16T22:21:00.005+08:00

Only 2 things are worth noting this week, 1 is that 3214 counselling class seems to always have something to remember. Last week it was Dr Sim's " Do u walk into love, fall into love or run into love?" questions as well as " sometimes people are too rational and analytical that they may miss out on chances in relationships." Very insightful words as there are people who are like this. Hell u may be one of them. =)

Anyway today, there was an exercise about people's secrets. Although Idol Sim says not to try to find out, but being human, it is natural that I am curious about the secrets. And as I heard people talk about them and describe their emotions towards them, but not say what they are cos it is not allowed; I feel that it seems so obvious to me what the secrets are. Again, I am not judging people, and I likely could be wrong but with the way people talk abt them, it just seems that everyone is either 1) Homosexual, 2) not a virgin, 3) tried to commit suicide, 4) was on Crack. Wah. I guess if everyone does them, then maybe they aren't so secret anymore.

However, my other point is also, why must such things be secrets? So what if u are/were gay? Being a female who is gay, ok what. And so what if u smoked some stuff before? So what if u had sex before? Maybe our society is still too anal. The reason such things need to be so safely guarded is bcos we are afraid that people will judge us negatively and can't accept us. But are these really evil, unforgivable things? It is more of a reflection of ur own values in life than a reflection of who u are. in my view. If this is the case, I think our society still has much to progress.

2nd thing is that a Hk fren Christina came to Singapore for 4 days, and coincidentally it was V day tat I went out to see her~, so thats how I spent my V day la.

Actually, we only met a few times b4, but still I did try to be nice and make her feel fun la.. we went to Clake Quay, China Town, Little India, City Area.. I was quite tired honestly.. bcos I do not normally go out n walk walk one..

Actually want to thank her too for a good day, bcos considering that we are only normal friends, she was very thankful and appreciative and open in her expression of it and to me, that is something that people in this country do not do enough to each other, so i was quite touched too.

Actually despite Singapore being a tourist black hole.. meaning there is almost nothing here.. (till IR and everything else are built ) but still some stuff was still attractive to her. Like Laksa and Satay haha... a funny thing is she kept saying she wanted satay and luckily in Chinatown there was.. but then .. when we went to Lau pa sa, there was satay everywhere!!!!!!!! So much that I was irritated by those people approaching me.

Anyway, had a good time, was sorry I could not see her off 1 last time this morning bcos I came late even though I arrived at airport at 5.30am this morning. And I did feel a sense of emptyness and sadness la, bcos I know I probably wont see her again. But then.. I am glad to have met her again..

Take care Chris!

KBG

top 10 excuses

2008-02-12T18:26:00.001+08:00

Here is a post which is hopefully helpful and informational. I want to talk about excuses that people give.

As much as we like to pretend that everyone likes us, the truth is many pple don't know u well and don't want to spend their time with u or on u, and vice versa *OW. The truth hurts* However, bcos we are all experts at networking and PR, and when we really don't want to do something, but we want others to not know the truth; hence we invent this beautiful concept of excuses.

I personally prefer not to hear excuses. If it were up to me, I would prefer that everyone were frank with each other. I prefer that if u do not want to do something, just say u do not want to do it. U dont even have to say an excuse bcos more often than not, the way u respond already sends your underlying meaning to the other person. However, it is a fact of life that excuses mostly can be accepted by others even though they know the truth, and everyone uses them from time to time, so I think it is good we evaluate the common excuses that we use.

The top 2 excuses I hate hearing are "No time" and "No $". No time is ok in essence, bcos it is the backbone of many of the top 10, but u need to be specific. Come up with a scenario to convince people. "I have no time to play with u today Meijia." This is bullshit. Meijia will be thinking" What the fuck, I am ur family and u have no time?" But if u are more specific, "I have no time bcos I need to work on my proposal if not my boss will fuck me." This is much better rite. No $ is worse. We like to say no $$ to go out, to do this do that, but if we actually track ur own spending record, we will realise we do spend $$$$ on some shit we don't need to spend on. It sucks especially since it proves we all are not as poor as we think and even if we were, there are many alternatives that we could have done w/o $$. SO PLEASE, DO NOT ATTEMPT THESE 2 STUNTS BCOS NO ONE W BELIEVE U.

So what excuses are more likely to work? Here they are.

10) "I didn't receive your notification": Also quite weak, but still believable provided u did not agree and even respond in the first place

9) "I suddenly forget I have something on": Quite weak actually, but then can still be useful if used sparingly. Also, due to the word suddenly, this is used almost when it is time to do the thing u want to avoid, hence the difference with no. 6

8) "I have to wake up early tmr morning": This one is not bad, but of cos depends again on who u are supposed to be avoiding, and if it is believable that u have something really on. Also, it is more effective only when u will really end up reaching home very late, if u had really not avoided the thing. So do not use it if ur house is 5 minutes away and u are supposed to be there at 7pm.

7) Family-related: I am not referring to emergencies (ANOTHER RETARDED EXCUSE), but just saying things like gathering or dinner with parents etc. Again, some situations may not be so accepting of this, bcos people will say, u can meet family everyday but u can only meet other people once in a while. But why "partner" is a better excuse although both these are technically "family", is that at our age, it is more believable that u are spending more time with ur partner than to nuclear family.

6) Already have prior meeting: Depending on time again, and what kind of story u invent, the believability varies. Also, u need to note that it is less effective if u need to come up with an excuse on-the-spot.

5) PMS-related: This is actually very very useful, bcos a) it excuses u from physical activities, and from even leaving the damn house, b) people, especially guys, won't probe into details. So just one sentence is all it takes. It just depends on how "buay paiseh" u are to dare to "admit" it. However, due to the difficulty level of coming up with this, and plus it is only applicable to girls, so the ranking is not that high.

4) Illness: Ethically, to feign illness is quite the bottoms, and shows how deep u are willing to go to avoid some stuff, but it is an effective excuse, depending on how convincing u describe ur symptoms.

3) Wedding: This is quite powerful too bcos u can't argue against it; and in our culture, at least for Chinese, Wedding dinners are a big deal and it is vital to go, plus THEY LAST PRACTICALLY THRU THE NITE. But of cos u can't use this too often. Maybe once a half year or once a year.

2) Go out with boyfriend/girlfriend: This is quite good too, but of cos, it depends on whether u actually have a partner la, if not u may need to invent one. Of cos, the effectiveness depends on who u use it on. Using on the opposite sex triggers a barrier cos "u already have someone le", but on the same sex, I would suggest not to use too often cos it may cause resentment. Girls benefit a little more from my view using this.

1) Working: Depending on the time and day of the week u are attempting to avoid, any variation of this is very good. Why? Bcos everyone needs $ to survive. And also, bcos almost everyone does some form of part time or full time work, we are likely to emphatize and bcos we hate work, so we are likely to feel sorry for this person cos he has to work. So this has 2X effect. Good~

Maybe u would think this is a ridiculous post, but kids we need to face facts and this is a fact. I am not really judging excuses as bad, bcos in many cases it is understandable that we don't want to seem impolite so we conjure up a story, but at the same time, people also know sometimes, just that they are also too polite to fuck u.

The thing is, that we should be able to admit to ourselves that we are not telling the whole truth at times, instead of believing our own excuses, bcos then it is not such a desirable thing.

KBG

^ ^

2008-02-10T20:11:00.000+08:00

I have not updated for some time.. and there really isn't anything in particular to say.. so jus some slight views n points.

1) Starting with the new year.. hope everyone enjoyed it. The novelty of new year has really in my view become so much lesser since back in the day where we were kids.. but still it is a good time to have. Mainly due to deaths, I couldnt go many places but mainly we visited and were visited by my paternal n maternal relatives. Maternal is fine.. most are youths and there is some generational gap but I do like them. Paternal though.. not close at all.. and I find them very PR. So I tend to avoid them, like what I am doing now, typing instead of talking to them. Anyway... it jus came across to me that relatives like this are kind of low risk investment.. alto u wont feel too happy wth them, but thy are too accomodating and have too much fake smiles to make u feel not too irritated with them. So it is just a kind of apathy. Compare with certain kinds of friends.. the chances of having real fun is so much more.. but also.. the chances of feeling bored, or unhappy is there too.. for example.. EVERYONE has experienced "group of people with nothin left to do at table and everyone is tired and wants to go home , but everyone is smiling politely and waiting for someone to say 'let's go home'. "

2) Recently I have been thinking, and I wish to inform that I sincerely dislike people who are gender discriminating. More of the male over the females for that matter. If u look at our vocabulary, u can find countless of phrases that are so "big men idea"... like "man up", "be a man", "don't be a p***y"... and altho these are directed at men.. but underlying it are gender discriminating ideologies. If u need to insult people by saying they are like women... that means u dont think highly of women rite..??? And for this.. I feel is very very narrow minded and fucked up of people.. even more so in our own FIRST WORLD CITY STATE. I think it is time tat many pple start clearing their brains.. but even more.. it shld be cultivated from our own culture that this kind so thinking is really last century. But then.. speaking of this.. I also wish to say that women can do better too. I think some girls have a kind of attitude that makes them feel they deserve so much more than guys; that guys shld listen to them.. shld serve them.. shld be gentlemen to them.. and the thing is.. if what women want is gender equality.. then it shld be what it is, equal. For example, I am not going to always pay for my girlfriend in the future. Why the fuck must I do that if she happens to be earning her own pay and stuff? But some girls still believe otherwise.. and it is quite hypocritical I feel. So both genders have some areas to improve I think.

3) It has been some time and I have been thinking of photography. Not that I want to do it, but my perspective on it has changed. In the past, I see pictures and I think.. no big deal.. bcos if the scenery is nice, of cos the photo is nice rite?? And for photos with like.. themes of daily life or what.. then I didn't see the beauty; like what is so nice about a picture of an old man squatting at the roadside? BUT in the past year or so.. I think I slowly have begun to appreciate the skill and art in photography.. I can only appreciate this in a layman way, but it is when I try to take photos that I realise how fucking difficult it is to make a photo look nice. In a specific sense, to MAKE THE PHOTO SEEM AS LIFELIKE AS WHEN YOU WERE AT THE PLACE ITSELF, bcos more often than not.. the effect of the taken photo looks really lousy compared to whatever nice view that was taken. Another kind of skill that I respect is how photographers can find a really nice scene, or view .. by taking shots from a certain angle.. with a certain kind of lighting and environmental effect, to create something that laymen people wouldnt be able to source out themselves.

4) Lastly, I want to say a big FUCK YOU VERY MUCH to the people who went to insult Singapore english on Taiwan variety show. I switched on TVBS and saw a show where they were testing their own english. That's fine and good if they want to make fun of their own english that is SO LOUSY THEY NEED A SHOW TO TEST PEOPLE WHAT IS THE MEANING OF SIMPLE ENGLISH WORDS, and the truth is they shld insult their own english bcos it fucking sucks. BUT it is a whole new different ball game when you go to talk about other people. In a way, this is close to becoming personal.. and seriously.. I think I shld not waste my anger on a country which seems to be good for only producing cute girls which they copy from Japan, and for having political instability.

^^

KBG

陳綺貞

2008-01-29T21:44:00.000+08:00

After being angry, it is time to theraputalize~ by intro-ing any one of my favorite singers, Cheer陳綺貞. If you have not heard of this person, give her music a try man.

To me, if we were to make a comparison with Meijia; Meijia is like a Goddess,beautiful and glamorous, but far and away. Cheer is loveable in a very different way, which I will talk about here.

The first thing you will notice is that she has 1 of the most unique voices in this industry. Her voice has a very baby/child like quality in it, but yet that is blended with her own feminine adult voice, which creates a listening experience that you can't ignore. U can't name another Taiwanese singer who has such a voice; even in Japan, Yui comes close, but still there is differences.

Her voice complements her style of music well, which can be described as indi-pop-rock I guess, all personally written by her. Her songs give a very cleary, dreamy, peaceful kind of feeling that is also very cute at the same time. At the same time where you are indulging in her voice, if you listen carefully, the lyrics of the songs are really very poetically crafted to mean much much more. Under the surface of seemingly simple love songs, there are abstract themes that she tries to portray to listeners.

Appearance wise, Cheer is really quite awesome. She is not beautiful, but she has a very likeable appearance, and her whole person just shows a kind of aura that is very hard to resist. Put it this way, quoting from my sister: "Not everyone may like her, but it is difficult to dislike her." When you think of it, there are qualities abt so many female singers you can find that are not to your preference. You may think Yang Cheng Lin is so cute till she is disgusting, you may think that JolinTsai is too slutty in her sexy dance moves, you may think that Fan Wei Qi's pretty appearance is a little too over the top; and so on, but when I look at Cheer, I see innocence, I see REAL cute-ness, I see shy-ness, and I see a girl who is like us normal folk with normal lives, but yet so distinctly different in an attractive way. To me it is like, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT MY DAUGHTER TO BE LIKE; loveable, cute, carefree, happy, and talented.

The end. But look at her mtv.

KBG

aiyayaya

2008-01-28T21:28:00.000+08:00

Suddenly nt in a nice mood. Going to turn emo and rant abt my feelings of others again.

I'm not revealing what caused this, but just want to point out that I really despise people who flat out look down on others. As Social-work trained, I believe that everyone has their strengths and ways of contributing to their world. However, some really fuck people like to see others who do not have qualities that they do; qualities which they deem as absolutely important to be a successful person; and just bcos people are different from them, and that people are too nice to go into conflict with them, they think that they can look down on others.

Being nice is a good quality. Being emo is a good quality. Being accomodating is a good quality. Everything can be a good quality but certain people, possibly bcos they are too conditioned by the $$$-ness of our beloved society of Singapore Inc. , see such qualities as weaknesses. Yes, simply bcos these qualities are not encouraged in bankers, in investers, in brokers, in financial consultants, in big bosses, and bcos someone is not like them, they then think they are so high up.

Success is subjective. To them, $$$ is the world, and if you can make $$$, means you are a success, and your qualities are the ones that are what the norm should be. Nothing can be further from the truth. Yes, you can go on to be a successful $$$ maker in the end, but if you need to stoop soooooo low and go past the limit of making jokes and go into personal attacks on other people; I guess that makes you better than others right. I guess insulting the gender identity of others, or using vulgarities on others' parents, is what is expected of people who have gone thru education right?

To me, such people just insult others for the sake of it. Just to feel some stimulation bcos life is so boring. They think that just bcos they take advantage of people who are too nice and cannot be bothered to argue with them, and it makes them feel good about themselves. To me, they are not a level above. They are childish. They are insecure. They have no integrity and they are uncivilised.

But you know what? As far as society is concerned, these people are assests, bcos they get to make the $$$, they get all the attraction of the other gender, they get all the material needs to show off. Who cares about the weak people who have emotions, who care about the feelings of others, who are nice to everyone? Who cares about having values and having 家教? We only need people like them who are tough, who are ruthless, and who can make $$$.

KBG

Looking at the past, Looking at the future

2008-01-24T22:28:00.000+08:00

Will cut straight to the topic. My brother did very well for O level imo, and can stay in NYJC. But today is a memorable day as the O levels release the results.. much media coverage, and this occasion with some stuff in New Paper makes me want to comment on this issue: Post Secondary Education Choices.

Back in the day, to me, education path was Sec Sch ---> JC---> Uni. And the sad thing is, I did so not only bcos of parent's expectations, but also bcos to me, I didn't know any better ! To me, back then, no JC= Poly. Full Stop.

Probably then, there weren't that many choices, but there definitely were alternatives. Today, however, there is no doubtin that the age old traditional JC/Poly/Nitec is no longer the only routes to go after Sec Sch. They MAY still be the preferred routes, but not necessarily bcos they are better now, bcos alternatives out there seem to market themselves as viable if not, better choices.

Let's look at the New paper special on Post Sec education today. There are so many many private schools, institutes, foreign degree programs out there, and they are not unpopular as well. And altho thy may not have the total credibility, thy certainly do a good job of marketing themselves.

To me, a distinct advantage is that, being in such alternative edn systems is that thy are not in our normal educational environment. A diploma outside and a diploma in a poly shld have differences in terms of amount of information giving, teaching methods, learning methods, practical work; and to me, our official channels of edn are very anal and spoon feeding that a student can benefit to be more independent and to learn of the challenges of reality by being in an outside school. Also, some of them are international schools, which means that students can have chances to be with foreigners
which.is.a.good.opportunity.to.learn.ALOT.since.it.is.globalisation.time.
Also, looking at some of the news reports, SOME PRIVATE STUDENTS CAN SKIP A LEVELS AND HAVE DEGREE PROGRAM AFTER O LEVELS!!! Seriously, considering all things equal, then why the hell do we study A levels or diploma??????????????????????? Even if we went to the new programs in RI or HCI to skip A levels, going to a private sch is even better right????? Of cos, as I said, all things equal la.. like cost, legitimacy of the program and the degree cert itself etc. But looking at this, going private sch is still very appealing!!

Of cos, we also see that the adverts of the private schs are right NEXT to the news reports on them (so must say good things abt them cos thy paid advertising cost to New Paper ma) .. and the cases they talk about are successful students out of thousands in a batch. And we all know that on average, your NUS/NTU/SMU cert should be more highly regarded than an outside one, considering all things equal again. So I wouldn't say that private schs are die die the best choice la.

Of cos it depends in the end on individual. Everyone's circumstances is different, and your own study style, goals, aspirations, values, background, interests and so on will affect the decision. But in my view, JC is for people that do not have a SPECIFIC area of interest or specialization at the age of 17. This however, doesn't change my view that JC IS USELESS. Why? Bcos in a diploma setting, even looking at public polys, students learn a lot more useful skills, practical skills, more intern and practicum opportunities, greater outlet fot flexibility and creativity; compared to the STILL-sch uniform wearing-national anthem singing- blindly mugging- spoon fed- school kids in JCs. And the things that Poly teaches in my view are much more useful in the long term, in the working world, bcos JC only teaches you how to mug, which is useless. True, JC is a safe route to Uni, where u can learn pretty much the same, or even more of these skills depending on your course, but if u are in Poly, u can still go to Uni; and the chances of that happening will increase in the future.

But again, what route u go depends on what u want at the age of 17. JC suits some, and poly suits others. However, in my view, it will be beneficial at this young age to already be aware of what u want to do in the future, or at least where ur interests and passion lie. If I could go back in time, I would want to do so, bcos I knw that I am one of those that blindly followed the system and went to JC and Uni, without thinking of what I am good at, and what I want in the future. Also family influence was strong; even in 2008, my Dad is still living in 1998 where going to poly means u won't get into uni. Anway, I admire the kids who have such thinking and vision for themselves bcos at such an age, if they already knw what they want, it is a good sign that they are serious abt their future, they are aware of their strengths, and that they can think ahead. And if they are willing to venture out of the norm and go attempt private schools or what not, I respect them even more cos they are risk takers. They are willing to go out of their comfort zones and go and explore the world out there. Such people in my view, are the ones that go far, unlike many of us who could just end up in an office working under someone... they may likely have a higher chance of being the "someone". Such is life.

Hence ends my essay today on this topic, with my message to youths being, try to knw what u want, and if u can, don't hesitate to go away from what your parents want, what the norm is, and go to an educational route that u feel benefits you. - KBG

Same all stuff

2008-01-20T20:08:00.000+08:00

Apologies to the title, it is meant to emphasize the seriousness of today's issue, rather than de emphasizing it as it may suggest. Read on to see what I mean.

It has been 2 weeks since one of my friends lost a dear family member, and now is a personally ok time to respond to such issues. I remember more than half a year ago, a good friend lost his father too, and I responded as such, "I never met Dad, but I think he will have wanted you to not have a dysfunctional life because of this loss. I think he would have wanted you to be in a way, glad for him because he is free from suffering and he is now in a better place. Whatever happens, you still have numerous people who love and care for you, and we will all support you."

That is what I feel about my friend, and I am comforted that she is coping in an ok way. I would also like to say that, at such times, it is ok to be as sad as possible. Do anything and everything to show your true feelings; it is much better in my view, then keeping everything to oneself, avoiding the sadness, and pretending as if nothing happens while life goes on.

Life goes on is one thing, but in my view, we can all still embrace the sorrow and sadness within us, which if we have accepted it and not avoided it; it would likely still be somewhere in an unconscious part of our being.

So my overall message is, be happy and move on, but do not hesitate to experience or let out the sadness, bcos to move on, acceptance of sadness and the loss into a part of your life, a part of youself, is a key step to coping, in my view.

And once again, this is where my title of the post comes in. SAME OLD STUFF THAT I WILL SAY. This is what I had to say back in August: "appreciate those you love. That's it. Don't regret when it is too late, just because you said you will do it later. Remember, "later" never comes. I think people who love us really sacrifice in ways we cannot appreciate, and just giving back a bit to them is not too much to ask"

It is not just to you, but it is a warning to me as well. Appreciate the people you love. It doesn't take a lot of effort, bcos if you love each other, just a little means everything. A few words, a little touch, a small gesture, a few moments; it is nothing compared to the sacrifices and the love that they have given, but yet it means everything bcos you mean everything to them. And this is what we always excuse ourselves with: no time, too busy, will do it later, tommorrow. And to this we must realise, YOU ARE NEVER TOO BUSY FOR THE IMPORTANT THINGS. If we cannot find the effort to do it, then perhaps we should questions ourselves on where our values lie then. No amount of joss stick offerings or burning of paper money, or prayers at church or wherever, will make you feel that you had made up for not appreciating, or spending enough time with that person in the past.

Wet, Rinse, Soak, Rinse, Hang, Dry, and repeat again. This is the process I have been doing in regards to such issues on relationships, love, appreciation etc.. I have been saying such stuff since almost the Big Bang of the universe itself, and I hope everyone can take away something from this post.

I really hope I do not have to write abt this again though. Best of health to everyone and all they love.

Jason

lalala

2008-01-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

Quite an average and largely boring week; back to the shithole known as Nus, sat for some lects blah blah...

I think I will then talk a little about a gathering with incoming hk exchange students. I know a few of them and they invited me to one guy's place and jus have an evening together. I pulled WJ along and overall it was a nice time. To be honest, I think a big part of me just can't let go hk. Its true and I always say the truth man. I know I didn't experience the full thing in sep and I think this is just me wanting to continue to experience hk culture. haha.

In hk, as a foreigner, it is like, you are asking people about what are highlights of the country, what is the culture like, where are the good stuff etc.. and nicely, it is exactly a role reversal now, when it is my turn to be on the side of the hosts. U see people getting interested or excited or amused about stuff in Singapore u just think is ordinary, but thats what is it like being a foreigner and I can fully understand how they feel. And if u think u knw a lot of ur country, it is when people ask u, then u realise, there could be just a little u dont know, or it makes u realise that u do know some stuff about your country that u never really bothered to give urself credit for.

Like I feel, it is indeed a good exp interacting with foreigners. It is not a nice thing to say, but after 20+ years in this place, there is really close to nothing about the people here on the whole that interests me. Everywhere is the same. Throw a shoe and hit someone in the canteen, or just look at the person from the neighboring cubicle the next time u are in the loo; more likely then not, he or she is JUST ANOTHER SINGAPOREAN PERSON, JUST LIKE YOU AND ME.

The point is, interacting with foreigners gives u new info. New knowledge, new perspectives. U know that TV is one thing, Internet is one thing, but meeting real life people from another culture is a totally new experience. U really can know so much about how different they are bcos every culture is different. And with globalisation, this is what should be encourgaed, VENTURING OUT AND EXPLORING OUTSIDE UR COMFORT ZONE. We already know almost A-Z about our own culture, so how about knowing about other people then?

Woo

KBG

The return of the views of the news

2008-01-14T22:54:00.001+08:00

News: Korea has services where people can experience fake death; be put in coffins, write wills, have funerals. Quite a fad now there.

Views: Now this is some cool shit here. I think a good thing for such services is it can help people to appreciate life better once you have "died" once. It is also a cool concept in the exection, and sadly, it will NEVER happen here, bcos our south asian values forbid us from even mentioning death in our culture, something I never understand. But anyway, some people would say, it is just a profit making scheme to capitalize on people's emotions blah blah.. and to this I say, every business in this world should be profitable. Just bcos people are providing services that are social in nature doesn't mean it must be cheap and non profitable. You receive a service, you should pay.

News: Suharto is dying.

Views: Actually I support MM Lee's comments which kinda mean pple shld remember him for the good he has brought to the country, and forgive him for the past. This is bcos it is what it is, THE PAST. The confrontation and whatever has happened in a world which our generation is not even born, and it is like saying we should forgive the Japanese for the occupation. The man is dying and we shld just give him a peace of mind and all move on. Secondly, MM Lee is right bcos he did do good things, and that is what pple always forget: the right u did. Instead pple choose to have hatred in their hearts and remember the sins of others. Why?

News: Gordon Brown is supporting organ transfer from deceased patients w/o explicit consent.

Views: I also support this but to the condition that the family and individual did not oppose this in their lifetime. I wonder why pro-humanity or whatever groups like to reject this kind of ideas. Same as pple who are against abortion. It is funny that 1 is against "life" which hasnt existed physically in the world, and 1 is against "life" which doesnt exist anymore. Come on, if some fucker is dead, just give the organs to other pple dammit.. why keep the fucking organs which will rot when u can save someone.. ?

News: US presidential campaigns involves (gasp) racism as a recent development !!!

Views: On one hand, it is a good example of the power of the media. Comments made by Clintons can be twisted and framed and interpreted to mean something which MAY not be what was the intended meaning, but instead it is amplified and exaggerated to create sensational news which could affect the choosing of the most powerful person on Earth. On the other hand, seeing these things happen between candidates make me think of kids quarrelling in the park.

News: Tan Chee Wee n Ang Bee Lian respond to letter which askes for more support and welfare to social workers.

Views: Tan n Ang are 2 big fucks in social sector and that is all u need to knw abt them. Now their response is nothing new which we don't already knw, but I like their point about the need for public awareness and donor recognition. A big barrier in my view is that VWOs can't raise welfare/$ as much as thy want, bcos thy need to be responsible to donors, need to be transparent in their funds blah blah.. but again this is part of a bigger problem. U need to take a top down approach, Govt and Media especially need to continue to raise awareness and support. We have been conditioned to not care about social service workers and we are conditioned to think welfare is a dirty word here; so bcos the pple on top don't care, how will the common pple on the road care?

News: Means Testing debate continues !

Views: There is still too much that is unclear about it, but in my view, certain issues about means testing are important. First, unlike what is proposed, I think that Income per capital is important. It is the current way of MT and why should it be changed? Second, it is important to consider the whole financial situation of the patient and the immediate family who are important in the finances of the family. It should include all kinds of liquid assests as well not just income, but also to exclude non liquid assests like housing (unless housing is counted as a debt instead ) That is where the MSW comes in, as this is a likely complicated thing for him/her to assess; but I feel it CAN be done in a systematic and simple way. Third, to be able to see the needs of everyone, there should be example: 80% subsidy for financial sources 0-$A, 75% for $A to $B, 70% for $B-$C etc etc... make more levels of subsidies which are closer to each other so u can reduce borderline cases of pple just miss the cut off points but have the subsidy reduced by maybe 25% for example.

bye~

KBG

this week

2008-01-13T20:04:00.000+08:00

Monday- Cut hair. Back too short and too thick. Si bei sian.

Tuesday- Ah Ting and me scrapped the badminton, and we just had dinner at Chinatown. Very good, spend little money. Well we just sat and talked, not bad not bad; saw Brandon and PeiPei and sadly we did not ambush them to make them paiseh, but they approached us first. Well, it was great to see Ah ting again, and I feel a lot more comfortable then I expected. We did run out of things to say when walking back, so I need to improve on this. Also, I need to stop offering to walk her home, bcos alto I don't see anything wrong with it, it is people's wishes, and everyone should respect each other's wishes.

Wed- Met the army dudes. Chua didn't come, too bad. We went to "beat the side stove" (Canto slang for Steamboat), a bit ex though. Da Sao came and it was all good. I must say that Cheah cracked me up like always with his views on war, army, teaching irritating kids etc. It never gets old man. Of cos talk was a bit more on the side of stock market cos of Cheah and Yip, and SM remained very silent even more than me; but good time. Must say that this shows that $$$ and making $$$ with $$$ are priority to some people, and that is bcos you can never have too much $$$, but it is not the preference to everyone.

Thu- Ktv in noon w MO and WJ; very good, though I suck at singing but don't care. I must say that I hate paying for extra $$$ than that advertised bcos of GST n Service. So sian. Evening met my Sec friends, minus Piat who gave a very lame excuse not to come, but I don't care. I mus say I was a bit harsh in my comments on them in the previous post, but all was well; it just seems like yesterday though I had not seen KW and ZY for the whole of 2007, and we did talk good stuff. Good times. Seeing them so engrossed in business, $$$ and current affairs makes me feel I should add oil, though being social science trained, I just have a diff perspective. To them playing shares and investment and moving up the corporate ladder is life's passion, but it just isn't to me and we all have differences in life goals. It was good that we respected each other though. At least we all agree that having kids is better than not !! Meijia boleh !!

Fri- Go chalet to sat morning. Good to see some Mwh veterans and Cat who I met for second time. Alto she is a hongkie, but she doesn't look like one at all lol. And must say, very nice person to knw, alto she is too on already. And also, side note: I just don't like tanned girls. I knw SG is like 100 degrees in temp, but doesn't it bug them that they look Malay( no racist indication) ? Anyway, good times too, and saw like so many TV dramas in one nite from 10pm to 4am. Yanqiu also seemed a bitttt plumper. lol.

Sat- Left chalet and lamely, didnt go back for bbq in the nite, which is the highlight of any chalet. Well, I have to pay super a lot of $$$ even though I did not go, cos some fuckers decided to no show the event so they can save a lot of $$$ and pass on the cost to people who came. Thanks you shitters. ~ Anyway, went out in daytime with Sister and cousins and great time KTV and pooling in RP recreation centre. At nite, eat dinner with family at AMK's famous Z-C kopitiam, cos The Sister's birthday is on Sunday. So shag when I returned so I pongtang the bbq.

Sun- Eat The Sister's cake in morning.. ~ and went to help parents with a bit of managing the stuff in the old house, and slacked the whole day.

KBG.

2007-2008

2008-01-06T21:46:00.000+08:00

It has been delayed, but I will finally talk about the year 2007, and talk about what my goals are in 2008.

Family: Thank heaven that it has been a good yr in my family. I know that I am blessed to be born in one where there is relatively close relationships and we dont experience major problems. After deaths in 2005 and 2006, thankfully nothing major happened, and all is fine. Being away from them in hk made me realise that I do care about them a lot, and also how much they care about me. I still love my sister, and also, my little brother finally has been more grown up, and is starting to develop into a very fine youth, and my hopes go out that he can live up to his potential as he is a smart boy. Everyone is growing up anyway, even my 7 year old cousin is on msn..

Goals: I wan to spend more time with my family, especially my parents. Not only that, I wan to be able to make them feel appreciated for being my support for so long.

Sch/Work: Early 2007 will be talked about and I know I did improve somewat in the work I did in school, althought the grades not necessary show. I think that my SW knowledge was still shaky compared to others.

Goals: My last sem in nus, I wan to use it well; revise my SW fundamentals, learn more practical skills, be more knowledgeable, and take 2 outside Arts courses that I can use to learn more about the world outside. I wan to join like 1 or 2 student activities too, to make use of the time to learn something new too. As for work, I hope that people would take me in spite of my very very few and short work experiences, and to set the record straight, I will not likely be a full fledged social worker. Of cos that will depend on the planning of career path which I will have to stress myself on too.. arr

Relational: I think in 2007, I evolved more in my thinking of relationship issues. I developed "u are never too busy for the impt things", "appreciate impt people", "there is a reason fate brings people together" among other catchphrases.. but the thing is, 2007 has been a disappointing year in relationships. I virtually never saw many non nus old friends, and I made few new ones, excluding pple in hk la.

Goals: I think in 2008, for new friends, I want to be able to knw as many people as I can and develop better networking skills. For THOSE existing friends, I am not sorry to say that I will be getting less emotionally involved. I have had enough with getting upset and thinking about people not caring about me; when I should just accept that they do not care about me, we have reached the peak of our relationship years ago, and now everyone is moving on to other life priorities. When we do meet, I will enjoy the moments and catch up, but no more than that. I guess I was the one stuck in the past all along, but no matter.

Placement/SEP: The 2 major events in 2007 came and went, and they have been learning experiences. Placement was a very traumatizing experience, and it has made me question do I wan to be a SW? I must admit I did try my best in placement, but somehow the fit btw the person and environment was not there, and I must say, by their standards, I suck. I am glad I passed though and glad to have CW to help me realise my faults all the time. SEP was also a sexy exp, and I must say that although I am regretting I did not do half the things I planned to achieve, I still met exciting people, saw great stuff, learnt a little canto, met bunny girl, and experienced a great Hk life away from SingaBORE.

Goals: 2008, I want to take every opportunity to improve myself as a person. Take chances to see more things, learn more, explore more.

Kaiting: Let me clarify that in 2007, it has been a up and down year for me and my friend KT. I must say that 2 years ago, I never would have expected to become more than normal acquaintances with her, and in early 2007, I suddenly wanted to know her better and I must say looking back, we are miles ahead of when we first knew each other. But there are downs and this is the truth that I must say about this. I do not like her in THAT way but I damn sure think she is an ultimately special person and I therefore want to maximize my potential with her, and by putting her name out here, I am telling people I have nothing to hide; we are just friends. With that being said, there is a quite a fair bit of the response and level of reciprocity from her in the past year that is not to my preference. I must be frank, a lot of upsetness is cos I gave myself a lot of stress over this, esp in hk where it is easy to feel lonely, and I do understand we are not close, have little interests in common, and looking at it from a 3rd party perspective, I may have tried too hard, and to a girl, that can mean the wrong messages (even though I cannot understand why); so I understand some of what happened. But if it were up to me, I would wish that I am not JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE to her.

Goals: 2007 was disappointing, that's fine. In 2008, I want to become real good friends with her. However, it needs open mindedness on our parts, if not it is very difficult to break the glass ceiling.

Happy 2008 !!

Jason

Sorry

2007-12-23T09:06:00.000+08:00

珍妮，

不能和你作好朋友，是我在香港最大的遗憾。不能认识你到我会知道我们之间会发展到如何，更是我最大的失望。

其实我有想过对你说这些，可是到了关键时刻，我却没有开口。可能是我已经接受了之前的难过，就认为没有必要开口。也许是我对你的感觉已经淡了，也许是我知道你的想法和我相反，一直没有认为认识我是什么特别的事；而把我当成和每一个男生一样。而更大的原因是，我到了离别的时候，看着你活泼可爱的面孔，想着，你要开心的和家人过冬季，我也认为，我的感受已经不重要了。和你说了对大家也没好处，可能会让你难过，那又何必呢? 我当然希望你对我一直想认识你的诚意而对我有多一些好感；也对一个在缘分下认识的人的离开更有想珍惜的看法，可是到了那时，我知道你从没这么想过。当然，因为大家对彼此的认识都不够。那，还是算了。所以我才说了祝福的话而已。

我猜，你一定会忘了我。那，大家也就错过了缘分给的机会。当然，这也没什么对或错，没有人可以批评你的决定；后果是什么，没人会知道。

对不起，我不应该写这些，但我真的是要把感受表达出来。

但我们一定会再见面的，希望那时，你会给我们的友情多一个机会，让缘分继续下
去。

杰生

What I will miss

2007-12-22T09:27:00.000+08:00

Now that I am about 24 hours away from leaving HK, here are my thoughts. It seems like such a long time ago before I was leaving for a new experience overseas, but it has only been 4 months. Nonetheless, it also seems just like yesterday that I arrived, and now I am leaving. Sad to say, things haven't gone the way I pictured in every aspect, and there are regrets here and there; things I shld have done, people I shld have befriended, places I should have gone.. and I know there won't ever be another chance at such a study/play experience. However, I want to leave on a happy note, so I shall also list out the things I feel grateful for, for experiencing.

I will miss the environment closest to me, the residence and the school. Being able to reach the school premises in 10 min is something that will never happen again, and so is being able to walk around the school in 30 minutes. Such is the beauty of a small spaced uni. However, my student residence has captured my heart too, and for all the crap in it, I will miss the nice lawn, the relaxing atmosphere, and just being able to see the city view from the ice cool balcony.

I will miss HK in general too, the sardine crowded streets, the horizontal signboards, the tea restaurants, the neon lights at night, the very rowdy and very lively atmosphere outside, the awesome weather, THE OBVIOUS AWARENESS OF SOCIAL SERVICES, the blah blah blah of cantonese, and the wholesome Chinese culture everywhere; which you can't find at all in Singapore.

I will miss living by myself, settling own living issues, washing clothes, cleaning room, cooking food, and which is different bcos even when doing these at home, it is with family; but being by myself means I need to be dependent on only me, and everything needs to be done seriously. All in all, I will miss being alone, bcos there is the distractions that family have, the nagging, the arguments, and it is just so different being alone.

I will miss being slack of cos, no need to study, to care about readings, to worry so much, but go out and play, or just plain slack and rot.

I will miss looking at HK girls. I think that HK girls really have their own charm, from their fashionable dressing to their colored rimmed glasses to their complexion to just their own HK style; it really makes me want to not go back and face plain old SG girls. It isn't that SG girls are not pretty, but they just aren't my preference now. HK girls I known are more Chinese, more caring, more sensitive, more humble and more charming.

Most of all, I will miss the great people I have known. My SG friends and foreign friends, but also the locals, who make me feel Honkies are my fav people in the world. I want to thank a few of them, and I know they won't see this, but I want to thank Ambrose, Ah Fo, Homan for being great friends and helping on the policy course which I caught no ball in; want to thank Zoe, Maggie, Dora for being so kind and helpful to me in our emotion lessons, thanks to Ah Pat for being such a cute girl, thanks to Man Lian or Terence for being my translator for PTH; thanks to the 2 Yammi and Yammy for making my last days so fun and willing to endure me and entertain me,thanks to Ada for being like a big sister to me, talking to me, taking care of me in our class, and trying to help me not feel left out among everyone else, thanks to all the other people I didn't mention and second last, thanks to Miss Bunny Jenny for appearing in my life, for being such a nice, gentle, understanding and awesome girl, making me feel that there is still hope in this world with nice people like you around, and making me happy for the few times we have seen each other, and lastly thanks to my wacky roomate brother Tom. I won't forget all the shit things we shared about each other and the fun we had getting to know one another. Thank you for putting up with living with a bum like me, and for helping me so much in our time together.

This is everything I can't bear to leave behind. But it won't be left behind forever, because

I WILL RETURN TO HONG KONG !!!!!

Kaobeigia

Quickie

2007-12-13T19:40:00.000+08:00

After about a week of campaigning abt the 1 of the most sincere posts of my life, I realised that people may not be as receptive to psychological cues; ie. Can't really figure that if someone put the blog address in BIG BLOCK FONT on MSN nick with words like "please read this", means u wan people to read, either this or they just plain can't be bothered. Whatever, I know 3 people on this planet did read, thanks for support; I hope my message got through to u. As for everyone else, I am not here to judge; there isn't right or wrong abt this, just consequences. If ignoring my goodwill works for u, makes u happy, I can live with it. It isn't going to help me in my issue anyway, so fuck it.

Anyway, it has been a while since feeling the ultimate sadness, and I must say, dealing with ur emotions, and facing them, can really help in coping with the future. In fact, I feel really more positive than before, and things aren't as bad as I thought. (that doesnt make my last post any less important) Or maybe just that I have accepted what will happen, and am ready to "move on".

After exams, going Shanghai, will return to HK for the last time on 20th, and return on 23th. Who knows what will happen. Just see.

KBG

Important~

2007-12-09T11:26:00.000+08:00

I know that so few people visit my blog that it is pitiful. I don't say it doesn't mean I do not knw, but I choose to do so now, because I feel that I want more people to at least see this post. I knw in the past year or so I have been very self absorbed, wallowing in self pity and such, but this post is genuinely written for you people. So please, take some time to read it and think of the message I want to get across.

I knw I have been saying this forever, but I really want people to learn to appreciate special people. Do the best you can with them. Develop the potential of ur relationship with them. Do not let special people come into your life, just to leave after a while w/o you even knowing what is the reason that fate brought you two together.

Life isn't as leisurely as before. Life isn't as simple as before. Life isn't as nice to you as before. That is all part of adulthood. And that is why, special people; i.e people who make a great impact on ur life, people who u know are so rare that u can never meet again; are to be appreciated. With all the responsibilities and priorities, and the fact that people change and become more adaptive to a cut throat society, people who are special aren't everywhere anymore, like apples on trees; and also that you just don't have that much motivation, desire, time and effort to go around looking for them. The older you get, the more people you meet, but the more people leave ur life as quickly as they come.

Occasionally however, as U2 has a line in a song that says "fate works in mysterious ways", fate does throw you the opportunity to meet a special person. At this point, which is what nobody thinks about, is that why out of so many people in the world, and at this particular time and place and doing this certain activity, that it is so "zun" that you can meet this person who is so special? If you think in this way, perhaps you will have more insight in this theme today, and see that if you don't take the chance, then this person is just going to go away and move on, just like almost everyone else. If you did take the chance however, it could be a relationship that changes your life forever.

You see, a common thinking is that we like to say, never mind, its ok, we have chance later, we can do it tommorrow.. blah blah.. and as usual for the 374th time, I want to say that "tommorrow" will never come if you think in this way.

The reason I keep ranting on this, is that it is happening to me. A very special person appeared; someone who is not supposed to exist in a crappy modern society today, and who I know is unlikely I will meet someone like this again. Due to a few reasons, some my fault, some not mine, it doesn't matter bcos it is too late anyway; I will leave this country with the regret and the question in my mind forever, "how much could I have developed with this person?", and "what is the reason we were fated to meet out of 7 million people?" And just like almost everyone else, I will likely forget and move on and so will the other person. But then, things like this can still haunt me and make me think, "what if?"

I do not want people to go through this shit like I am doing now. This is a genuine post to you, and I know that shit happens and you cannot control what is the outcome sometimes, but at least give it a shot, as much as you can; at least at the end of the day, you hopefully will not regret so much.

Jason

Jay: I am Legend

2007-12-07T01:05:00.000+08:00

Yes, in time for the new Will Smith movie, it has given me the title to describe the JAY concert I went to just now !

For only the 4th time in the illustrious history of the blog, I shall use the "Jason Rating Format" to critique the event !

In case u forget, Good is for the right things, Hmmm is for things that have good and bad points, Bad is just bad, and Ridiculous is just asking for an ass rape from me. Here we go.

GOOD

Variety: I think this is a no brainer in any concert; they should give u ur money worth and therefore the producers should drag out every damn shit the artiste is capable of doing, and anything special about him or her. However, I feel that the people who planned this really digged DEEP DEEP and gave us almost everything we could ask for. U figured on all his types of songs; rockish, ballad, rap, R&B, Ju Hua Tai, tango, duets, classical+R&B/rap remixes (fa ru xue, Huo Yuan Jia), new songs, old songs, canto songs; u figured on Jay dancing (different styles), free styling, flirting, playing piano n guitar, playing basketball, changing 57 costumes etc, YOU GOT THE WHOLE DAMN SHIT. No complaints. =D

Suprises: What impressed me more was that not only did he do all the things I mentioned, they digged deep deep deep and busted out more suprises. Special appearances from Nan Quan Mama (more on them later), SHE ( who were in the audience !!), and of all people, Ren Xian Qi(!!) . Awesome. Not only that, he played FAN TRICKS, the Chinese tight strings and a wheel thing, DRUMS, and SHUANG JIE GUN AND GU ZHENG. Seriously I said "Kan ni na bei chao chee bye" (out of joyful shock) when I saw him swing the SJG. Super.

Jay himself: I must say before hand I was never his fan. I like his music mostly, I respect him a lot, but I just cannot get into him. Today however, just for 1 day at least, I was very impressed with him and liked what he did a lot. Not only did he do all the awesome things I said, and did them very very well, what he showed even more was his class, his effort and his heart. These are things that can't be quantitatively measured, but are really what counts in the end. Although there were numerous mistakes, a little lip synching, some sloppiness, but these are to be expected in a live concert. The things is, being THE MAN in mandopop, Jay Chow is already a branded name, and he could just come out and sandbag the whole thing, and people will still cheer the shit out for him. But he went out there, busted his butt, worked super hard and brought his A+ game. U can say that is what singers should do, but at the end of the day, it is no easy feat and I salute him.

HMMM

The video screen: I thought it was good bcos not only did they show him close up, but also very nice graphics regarding the context of his performances at the point in time. Like during cowboy song will show gaphics of cowboy-related images. However, sometimes they were super confusing, with no real meaning behind them. Like a very poetic verse of words from Fang Wen Shang called Deng Xia, or some pseudo mtvs which all don't make sense to me.

Ren: Well I think the good thing is, he got a good pop, people still love him, and he sang well, even better than Jay, and they shared a "special moment" on stage during "An Jing"=p. The bad thing is, it was too short, they had 5 minutes of talking and then Ren left abruptly after singing "Qing Tian". Don't know why.

Nan Quan Mama: U knw, there was this part which was awesome; it was a double piano performance with one of the NQMM dudes and Jay. U need to see this kind of shit live because it is orgasmic. That there was two FREAKS. But then what I feel is not so good is that 2 individual NQMM people were introduced formally twice and then proceeded to rap with Jay for like 1 minute plus and disappear. Compared to Mr Ren, they got ZERO pop from the crowd bcos not everyone knows who they are. And if u dont knw who the fuck he is, then some dude coming out and rapping for 1 minute plus isnt going to make u care rite? There should have been some intro like "these is NQMM and they are my boys and pls give them a hand". It is obvious it should happen, cos during their actual performance w/o Jay, u can see people going for a piss break, hell I did. I think NQMM worked hard, and I gotta say Laura is hot~, but maybe they should be introduced better.

BAD

Fucking sound system: As usual, the sound dudes screwed up. I do not understand why in every concert I been, the sound system for the drums/percussion has to be LOUDER THAN THE SINGER'S MIC. MAYBE its tolerable in fast or "rock" songs, but not in songs where we want to hear the singer and the melody rite???? Fucking hell. Nobody pays $ to hear loud beats we can produce by hitting a plastic bottle on a trash can.. we pay to hear the singer.. !

RIDICULOUS

Bo Wei Gong: It gets worse. The next retarded thing is that of the "he yin" people, one of them should be shot. His job is to help the song be better, but u knw what, the fucker has a very nasal cuckoo voice, which is very easily heard, and can be louder than Jay at times. It sounds the idiot purposely is sabo-ing the whole songs. CB. At some songs, where we are so lost in the atmosphere, then the shitty voice has to appear and ruin things. Nobody cares about u ur prick, stop trying to sing louder than the star and get urself over! That jabroni and the idiots who hired him, and we can throw in the sound guys as well, all should be ass raped.

Conclusion: I think other than a few bad things, the concert was a blast. I didnt know HK loved him so much, but filling 13000 people per nite for like a week is an amazing feat. A good thing nonetheless, his popularity definitely is helping HK youths to learn putonghua. lol. Plus the awesomeness of the performances, and the pure passion that he has for the fans and vice versa, I must say that JAY IS THE LEGEND. HE IS THE MAN. There is a saying" to be THE MAN, u got to beat THE MAN." Well, no one alive in mandopop today is capable of dethroning Jay and even when that happens like maybe 10 yrs later, there will never be another Jay Chow. He is the golden standard in the industry in our region. woo~

KBG